Community› Local Wedding Boards› New Jersey
New Jersey
New Discussion
Options

So I''m actually not married...VENT

TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
First Comment
in New Jersey
I live in Bergen County, the city where I LIVE in told me that I have to get my license in the city where I'm getting MARRIED in. So that's what we did.

After obtaining a license, having a wedding and receiving copies of our sealed marriage certificate the state informs the city where I got married that my marriage is not validated.

No one is taking the blame, not the city where I live and not the city where we got married. The only options we have are, wait to see if the state will do us a favor and validate the marriage OR re apply in the town we reside in and in 3 days we should be legally married.

Mind you both cities are 10 minutes a part and the State told me that I could totally fly to Vegas, get a license today and be legally married by the end of the night.

I pay my taxes in NJ, the cities are 10 minutes apart and the city that I LIVE in told me to obtain the license in another city and the State seems like they wont budge on "the rules"

I guess I'll be married in a week instead of a month ago... -.-
image
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT

  • Options
    DoubleASDoubleAS
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wait- I thought you are supposed to apply in the city that you got married in?  Confused!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ChobotChobot member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:60cfe051-1ed7-4ab4-b911-3c753b54d8f5">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wait- I thought you are supposed to apply in the city that you got married in?  Confused!
    Posted by DoubleAS[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Wait wait! No way! I am 99% sure we are supposed to apply in either our cities we reside in...</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, did you get married in NJ?</div>
    Photobucket

    My Wedding DIY Blog

    ~~~Christine~~~

    Photobucket 215image 170image 45image 0imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:86443283-5897-4bde-a7bc-5980b54294d0">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT : Wait wait! No way! I am 99% sure we are supposed to apply in either our cities we reside in... OP, did you get married in NJ?
    Posted by Chobot[/QUOTE]


    yes... I got married in NJ.

    BOTH cities told me to apply in the city where I got married- which was wrong. And the funny thing is the city where I got married in told me "We tell everyone to apply here even if they don't live here"

    There must be 100's of not validated marriages in NJ then.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:60cfe051-1ed7-4ab4-b911-3c753b54d8f5">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wait- I thought you are supposed to apply in the city that you got married in?  Confused!
    Posted by DoubleAS[/QUOTE]


    I'd find out about your city rules because it's rough to find out that you aren't married.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DoubleASDoubleAS
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:abb6714d-8508-46a5-80a5-de1ea45d7bb9">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT : I'd find out about your city rules because it's rough to find out that you aren't married.
    Posted by TwoByTwilight[/QUOTE]

    I just checked with the NJ website... it is the city that you reside in.  Wow, everyone that I've spoken to has said the city that you marry in.  SO glad that you posted this- thank you!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    rlavachrlavach member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:2ac3be7d-cdf3-4f38-96ca-6591dc535602">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT : I just checked with the NJ website... it is the city that you reside in.  Wow, everyone that I've spoken to has said the city that you marry in.  SO glad that you posted this- thank you!
    Posted by DoubleAS[/QUOTE]
    WHOA! I'm trying to keep my head from flying off right now. I was always told it was the city you marry in. I live in a different city than my FI does and we have no idea where we'll end up living until about 1 month before the wedding. <div>
    </div><div><strong>WHERE ON THE NJ WEBSITE DID YOU SEE THAT? </strong>Please?</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicVisit The Knot! Anniversary

    My Bio

    Report Reply
  • Options
    rlavachrlavach member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just found it. Here is the quote:

    Where to apply:

    1. The marriage license application is to be made in the New Jersey municipality in which either party resides and the license is valid throughout the State of New Jersey.
    2. If neither applicant is a New Jersey resident, submit the application in the municipality where the marriage ceremony will be performed, the license is only valid in the issuing municipality.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicVisit The Knot! Anniversary

    My Bio

    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:8c398c5a-e890-44b6-ac91-4982585e9a86">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just found it. Here is the quote: Where to apply: The marriage license application is to be made in the New Jersey municipality in which either party resides and the license is valid throughout the State of New Jersey. If neither applicant is a New Jersey resident, submit the application in the municipality where the marriage ceremony will be performed, the license is  only  valid in the issuing municipality. <a href="http://www.state.nj.us/health/vital/marriage_apply.shtml" rel='nofollow'>http://www.state.nj.us/health/vital/marriage_apply.shtml</a>
    Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

    And when I brought up the above to both boroughs, they both said.... no... it's the city you get MARRIED in....

    Goes to show you, nobody knows sh-t and you should just apply in the city you live in- it'll save a lot of time, money and headaches.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    klustigklustig
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow...this is such a fundamental rule, it's unbelievable that no one has the right answer.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    205 invited image
    160 are ready to party image
    45 are missing out image
    0 can't find their mailbox image
    RSVP Deadline: October 1, 2012
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:d2280623-dea8-43b3-8844-07e9f10b9e71">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow...this is such a fundamental rule, it's unbelievable that no one has the right answer.
    Posted by klustig[/QUOTE]

    The woman at Little Ferry (I'll tell you this was the municpal building that was wrong and Ill call them OUT)

    They told me that they had a couple who were married 40 years, they just found out recently that they weren't legally married- so she told me that "this kind of stuff happens ALL the time"

    oooh... now that I know it's a common mistake I can sleep better at night- thanks...

    twatwaffle.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's the town you reside in UNLESS you live out of state.  You pick up the marriage license from the city you marry in.

    That stinks.. but no 1 has to know you didn't get legally married ;)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MillBride2012MillBride2012
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My officiant said that the rule is:

    If you are a resident of the state of NJ you apply for the resident in the city the bride lives in. You then SUBMIT the completed license to the city you were married in.

    If the bride is not a resident of NJ and groom is then you do the above, but with groom's city.

    If neither are residents of NJ then you apply and submit to city you were married in.

    Read the above post that someone posted an excerpt from state of NJ site and you will see that only if you are both not residents of NJ do you get license in marriage city.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ZombieNatesZombieNates
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We're not legally married yet, either, since our church effed up the license. We go in on Saturday to sign the new copy--it will still have the correct wedding date and all on it.  It's a hassle, but it can be fixed. 

    Miss || Mrs. || Hawaiian Honeymoon and Reviews! Follow Me on Pinterest
    Noreen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:844bc588-8a54-4d39-abd2-722da0d012b0">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're not legally married yet, either, since our church effed up the license. We go in on Saturday to sign the new copy--it will still have the correct wedding date and all on it.  It's a hassle, but it can be fixed. 
    Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]


    Yes.. this is a hassle, I was told that the State will allow us to keep our wedding date which I'm very happy to hear.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KH 2012KH 2012
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    who is you offciant...they should haave helped stear you in the right direction

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:98b155ec-2698-40e0-bf29-ed9211bd7c2f">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]who is you offciant...they should haave helped stear you in the right direction
    Posted by KH 2012[/QUOTE]

    My officiant thought we got our license in our city, how the license is formatted it is hard to easily see where you got the application from...she wishes she had caught it sooner but either way we wouldn't have been leglly married on the day of, we would have had to wait til we returned from our honeymoon.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DoubleASDoubleAS
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:10565e0c-5db7-4700-ac2f-f8a1aefc4d67">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT : The woman at Little Ferry (I'll tell you this was the municpal building that was wrong and Ill call them OUT) They told me that they had a couple who were married 40 years, they just found out recently that they weren't legally married- so she told me that "this kind of stuff happens ALL the time" oooh... now that I know it's a common mistake I can sleep better at night- thanks... twatwaffle.
    Posted by TwoByTwilight[/QUOTE]

    Oh great, I live in Little Ferry. Hopefully we'll be out by then lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Sharbear722Sharbear722
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe they got confused because you apply for the license in the city in NJ where the bride lives...but once you're married, it is filed in the city where you got married.

    My officiant actually filed it for the wrong town (brides getting married at The Mill, be careful!) and he had to sign an affidavit for me to pick up the marriage certificate. So confusing!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mercy4mercy4
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry this happened to you.  It is SOO annoying when people don't know how to do their own job.

    On the bright side, your dog is really cute!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    GiaspoGiaspo member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I was totally confused too. And all I have to say is, every time I see your siggy I want to hug your dog!
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    PhoenixashesPhoenixashes
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:10565e0c-5db7-4700-ac2f-f8a1aefc4d67">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT : The woman at Little Ferry (I'll tell you this was the municpal building that was wrong and Ill call them OUT) They told me that they had a couple who were married 40 years, they just found out recently that they weren't legally married- so she told me that "this kind of stuff happens ALL the time" oooh... now that I know it's a common mistake I can sleep better at night- thanks... <strong>twatwaffle.</strong>
    Posted by TwoByTwilight[/QUOTE]
     HA! Also, what I was told by my officiant that as far as 6mos before the wedding we can actually start the application process and it would be all set until your actual day. The place where you get the license from would hold it for you until then, She said it's kind of an unwritten rule, but a good way to get ahead of the game. Anyone heard about this?
    ~He is the best part of my day~ Wedding Countdown Ticker image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jcg98jcg98 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry, what a hassle.  Especially the everybody-pointing-fingers and nobody-taking-responsibility part.  I hope it can be resolved quickly!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
      
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies, and my puppy being very cute helps me get through this BS that is going on. :)
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:67052dc8-c9a5-496d-826e-6e21d7f7901d">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>It's the town you reside in UNLESS you live out of state.  You pick up the marriage license from the city you marry in.</strong> That stinks.. but no 1 has to know you didn't get legally married ;)
    Posted by sgdc2011[/QUOTE]

    This is 100% correct, as it also says on the website, and the people who work in the cities that you called are idiots and should be fired. I would ask to speak to their supervisors and bring a print out with you from the NJ website.  Also, I'd have the state send you something that says why it isn't valid and bring that with you also.

    It is definitely confusing beforehand, but it has always been - apply where you live, get married, pick up where you got married.

    Personally, I"m stubborn so I wouldn't just give in and reapply. These people should know what they are doing, and you shouldn't have to re-do things because they are complete morons. If it were me, I'd fight them about this.(unless I had a reason that we HAD to be legally married right now).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_im-actually-not-marriedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0ad6ec42-da5c-4c7e-a07b-a1664a621965Post:65ea060c-b1e9-4e77-aa01-9a106912127c">Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: So I''m actually not married...VENT :  HA! Also, what I was told by my officiant that as far as 6mos before the wedding we can actually start the application process and it would be all set until your actual day. The place where you get the license from would hold it for you until then, She said it's kind of an unwritten rule, but a good way to get ahead of the game. Anyone heard about this?
    Posted by Phoenixashes[/QUOTE]
    You need to ask the town you are applying in. Some will hold it, some won't. But definitely DO NOT pick it up more than 30 days before the wedding, because it is only valid for 30 days from the day you pick it up.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ZombieNatesZombieNates
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    TBT, cute dog > legal marriage any day ;)

    Miss || Mrs. || Hawaiian Honeymoon and Reviews! Follow Me on Pinterest
    Noreen's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bereasonable2bereasonable2 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You apply for the marriage license in the city you live in. The person you originally spoke to is wrong.

    What I don't get is this: Yeah, it sucks and it's totally inconvenient, but why don't you just reapply for the marriage license in your hometown instead of venting and asking the municipalities to "bend their rules" for you?

    It's like, "Hey, I live in Patterson, but I'd like a residential parking permit in your town, Haledon. What? What do you mean I have to be a resident of your town to get a residential parking permit? C'mon, you can't just bend the rules for pretty ol' me just this one time?" *batting eyelashes*

    "bend the rules" in this case would actually be breaking the law.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BttrSkoch0604BttrSkoch0604
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bereasonable...I've got 2 things to say.

    Number 1...I'm not quite sure how a parking permit and a marriage license are similar.  She's went and asked HER town where she should go and THEY gave her wrong information.  It's not like she went to the town that she got married in and said "oh please let me file here...it's just SO much easier".

    Number 2..It was the fault of the town that all of this is happening!  She shouldn't have to reapply.  The people who told her where to apply are the ones who aided in breaking the law.  The fault of this falls competely on the town that gave her the wrong information to begin with and THEY should correct it.  Regardless of what that means.

    OP...I'm so sorry this happened.  Please keep us posted with everything.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TwoByTwilightTwoByTwilight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    UPDATE-

    We had to reapply this morning in the town we live in, and we will be legally married on Monday the 12th.

    Now we are fighting the city of Little Ferry to refund us the $28 fee to apply for a license that wasn't valid.

    Also they charged me $30 for 2 copies of a marriage certificate that isn't valid.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KWats2011KWats2011 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So I don't want to hijack this thread, but I am a resident of NJ, but was married in NY- we applied for our license in NY (Poughkeepsie where we were married)- am I legally married?
    Anniversary Follow Me on Pinterest my read shelf:
    Kristin's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards