Favors

jamier88

Who is doing favors for their wedding? Do you really find them necessary or a waste? At this point i am really ready to say I'm not doing them. Part of me just feels like it is a waste. I am defin doing something edible if I do go forward with them.

smw42

We're doing a donation. We adopted a retired racing greyhound and we're donating to the national adoption program. Find a cause that's close to you and use that as your donation. We made photo cards of us with our dog (from our epics) to give to the guests to inform them of the donation. And yes- I know the debate on donations as favors, this is just what we're doing.

uppereastgirl

I agree with you, and I personally think it is fine for you to skip them if you can't come up with a good edible idea.

We did a donation to an animal shelter and a candy buffet.  Some people aren't huge fans of donation favors, but I always like when a couple uses the money for a good cause rather than to give me a trinket.  And everyone could make a bag of candy to bring home if they wanted.

Heather822

I agree the majority of favors are a total waste.
We are also doing a donation favor, to one of the cancer organizations my dad has worked with.
We do plan on having 2 buckets of flip flops on the dance floor though, just for people who need to have something tangible to take home.

mbcdefg

We had a photobooth, but had we not booked that then we weren't going to do anything.

My mother was horrified at the thought of no favors, though, so before we booked the photobooth she said she would've gotten favors for us if we weren't going to get them ourselves. So who knows what they would've been? I would've pushed for something edible (candy, cookies, chocolates) if she asked me what she should do.

jtheiss

I would say definitely do SOMETHING, whether it's edible or a donation. Those are both items that don't go to waste. I really think it's important to do something as a sign of gratitude to your guests for coming and for the gifts they are giving you.

uppereastgirl

But doesn't a personalized, handwritten thank you note thank the guest for coming and for the gift?  And in the meantime the guest got a good meal and drinks and dessert?  I think those do a better job of thanking people for coming than a handful of M&Ms does.

jtheiss

Yes, a nice thank you note is more meaningful than a handful of M&Ms, but you don't get it until sometimes months later and I just think it's nice to do something that night to let people know that you're glad they came. And I don't think the dinner and drinks and dessert counts as a thank you to your guests. All of that is a given when you're planning a party. I feel like all of the choices and decisions that a bride and groom make during wedding planning are for THEM because they want their party to be great! All of the stuff at the wedding is really pretty self-serving except for the favor. Having a favor is the one thing you do that is only for your guests' enjoyment and I personally think it's important to do something. But I'm coming from a place of guilt, because my entire side of the wedding is traveling from a great distance to be here, most of them spending multiple nights in the hotel, etc. So I feel an obligation to do something nice for them so that they know I appreciate the effort to get here to celebrate with us. But even if the entire wedding is local, it takes a lot of time, effort, and money just to be a GUEST at a wedding and I personally don't feel like a plate of filet mignon and a delayed thank you note is enough to fully thank them for the effort. But that's me and my position on the favor issue. Plenty of girls agree that they're a "waste,"  I just don't agree that anything extra you do for your guests is a waste.

jtheiss

P.S. I don't know why all of my posts are centered. I click the left justified every time and it doesn't work!

lovbulldgs

We did cupcakes.  Each guest got a boxed cupcake to take home.  We wanted to something edible.

akmackay

jtheiss- I don't understand how a little trinket that people either leave at the reception or end up throwing away months later (only after it collecting dust since the wedding) is a proper way to thank your guests for coming from far away. We did a thank you in our programs, and we said a little thank you at the reception which I think is FAR more sincere and impactful than giving a silly favor.

On the other hand, I did give m&ms b/c my maiden and married name both begin with M. It was something I always wanted to do. Most people appreciated a little something, but had I not had anything honestly I don't know if people would have noticed. A great night of eating, drinking and dancing is a wonderful way of thanking your guests for coming to your wedding ceremony IMO.

uppereastgirl

Allie, I feel bad that I called out m&ms specifically

I think my point is that the people who come to your wedding do get something out of it -- they're traveling to it because you're important to them and they want to see you get married, and they get a nice several course meal and alcohol.  They get to spend time with you at the wedding (where you have ample opportunity to gush at them about how touched you are that they came), and then they'll get a nice, heartfelt, personalized thank you note afterwards again gushing about how nice it was for them to come all that way.

Honestly, I've never felt thanked by a favor, even a nice and useful one -- they've always been one more thing that matched the wedding colors or theme, or were universally liked (m&ms!) but certainly not in any way personalized to the guests' individual tastes.  And I think the thought is often more "I need to have a favor because people will be miffed if I don't/I don't want to look like I cheaped out/I want one last thing to impress the guests/I want one more thing with seashells on it because I got married on the beach/these pink candies will look pretty on the tables."  I don't see how that's any less self-serving than giving them a nice meal and drinks.  It is a nice touch like so many of the other touches at a wedding, but usually all of this stuff really is to make a good impression or add wow factor or whatever.

clarereedy

We're doing a donation to the Make A Wish Fund...my fiance and I decided that the money would be better spent that way than on a favor.  We'll make out of town bags for the guests staying in the hotel so they get a little extra. 

LaurenandTony24

My fiance and I both love wine and have a favorite winery out by the Poconos that we may use.  I'm thinking a half bottle of our favorite wine & they provide the label.  My other option I was thinking about was a photobooth but I don't think we can afford it. 

akmackay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_favors-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0d9cce03-dc18-4b73-9804-9295c873fbf3Post:31df98b9-ad7f-4b98-b7ac-22b65d7051e3">Re: Favors</a>:
[QUOTE]Allie, I feel bad that I called out m&ms specifically :) Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

haha no worries- I laughed when I saw it. The few extra (which, oddly was less than we started off with extra.. I guess the wait staff helped themselves, or guests took extra) I've been enjoying since. I love me some M&Ms, especially when they are in my wedding colors  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

njpabzy

I too am doing the debate over favors. Part of me says they are a waste but I think most guests look for something.  FI & I are thinking about doing a Thank You book marker - I know they are kinda boring but I love the way they look and we can print a thank you phrase that we like and for those that read they can be useful.  Too tacky, boring? Our second thought is a lottery scratch off, maybe a lucky guest can go home with some money :-) Wanna do something small but not completely wasteful.  I like the donation idea but I dont think most of our guests would appreciate the gesture.

akmackay

njpabzy- I wouldn't do a bookmark. They get thrown out immediately and no one would ever use it. I like the scratch off idea- but I always love scratch offs. You do risk having someone not do it or lose it and it being the big winner though! haha

njpabzy

lol- thanks - i think they will be fun and am leaning that way