Religious wedding poll

mbcdefg

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it?* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise?* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?)* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality?

Sinthya

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I am a Christian and wanted to have a religious ceremony. Wouldn't have it any other way. MH while not as adamant, shares the same views.* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? no, since that is what we wanted anyway. But they both would have been devastated had we not had a religious ceremony. My mom was pretty upset that it wasn't Catholic. * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? MH while not as adamant, shares the same views as I do.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Not as often as we should. We try to go every other weekend, but MH has a second job so he often works Sundays.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? yes* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? they will be raised Christian.

cvl105

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I was raised Catholic, have made all my other sacraments and want to complete them.  As well I want my marriage to be recognized by the church.  This will be our step into the Catholic church as a family.* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? Nope.  Actually my Mom thought it would be easier to get married at the reception site because of the large gap we're forced to have having the ceremony at the church.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? He didn't care one way or another I don't think. However, he knew how much I wanted to get married in the church.  He wasn't raised going to church, making his sacramanets, but has since expressed he wished his parents did keep him in CCD, etc.  * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Not often enough.  I know once we start a family it will become more of a constant thing.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?  I hope to begin going more.  I know I should go more now, but we just don't. No excuses.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? We will raise them in the catholic church. Going to church, going to CCD classes, and making their sacraments.  Once they get to high school I will let them make the choice whether to continue with religious education, but I hope they choose to continue.  This is what my mother did with us.

kle0113

MH and I did not get married in the church and I am not catholic he is. We would have been married in the catholic church as he is a lot more religous then I am but I was married before so that was not happening. We did however find a priest that would marry us outsode the church and MH was very happy with that. We do attened church together and I will be converting at some point I just don't agree that I need to have my first marraige annulled to receive my sacraments. I was baptised episcopalian. We have agreed that our kids will be raised catholic.

uppereastgirl

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I would have loved a secular one because I do not believe in any religion (and knew that as a result it was kind of insincere to take religious vows), but my husband really wanted a Catholic ceremony * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it?  My parents would have been fine with a pagan ritual at the top of a mountain.  My husband's parents were very mad and made a lot of comments about the fact that we didn't have a mass (um, I'm not a confirmed Catholic?)* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise?  He really wanted a religious ceremony because religion is important to him culturally, and his parents would have been really mad if we didn't have a Catholic ceremony.  So that won out. * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?)  I do not attend services ever.  I go to weddings and funerals at religious places.  My husband goes to church on Christmas and Easter (usually) and gets ashes on Ash Wednesday.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?  No.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? That's a really, really big issue actually.  My husband and his parents would want kids to be raised religiously, and if we had boys and lived on Long Island (okay, probably not going to happen), they would want them to go to my husband's all boys Catholic high school.  I would want my children to explore all sorts of religions and find what is right for them, rather than blindly following what we told them they should believe in. 

mrs.spunky1508

*We're both Catholic, were raised Catholic. We wanted our marriage blessed by the Church. Plus, my mother would disown me if I had it anywhere else *Pressure, no, it was something I/we wanted to do (me moreso than H), but had we not done it for whatever reason, there would have been Hell to pay. But I don't think of any other way, in my religion/beliefs, as "right". To me, if you're Catholic, you get married as such and jump through all the hoops to do it (and in the parish we got married in, there were plenty of hoops ) *He would have been just as happy getting married on the beach somewhere (OCNJ, preferably), but he understood the importance of it to me, and to our future and raising our children Catholic. I think part of that was b/c his parents got married by the JOP and just had their marriage blessed before he was to be baptized, so to him that was just as "right" as my way. *We attend at least monthly. *Already married, yes. *Catholic.

velveena

Well I had both, so I'll answer for the Indian one- I am completely nonreligious, but I just always pictured myself having an Indian wedding.  The acceptance of my family was secondary.  I don't have any other explanation for my desire other than: I wouldn't feel married if we didn't.- Originally, my parents weren't involved, so no pressure from them.  I planned it all on my own.- He was fine with it.  Nervous about what to expect/do/act without offending anyone.  Kinda cute actually!- Never attend.  I have to be dragged!- Don't plan to attend.- I will let them explore and make their decision.

anotherNJbride

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one?Honestly, more for tradition than anything else. MH and I both made all our sacraments and even though we are not practicing Catholics it just felt like the right thing to do. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? No, they would have been fine with any ceremony we decided on, though I know my mother was happy that we had a mass, she wouldn't have given us a hard time if we didn't.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? N/A* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) We don't go to church regularly, maybe for holidays, but even that we've gotten bad about. I consider my yoga a spiritual/worship practice (involving meditation/prayer) though that I do about 5 times a week.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? we haven't* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? probably similar to the way I was raised - with Catholic traditions but an open mind to spirituality. I personally believe that children need a starting point for religion - they need some kind of structure to decide if/how they want to incorporate it into their lives or adjust their personal believes too... almost like a "constant". Since we were both raised Catholic and still follow a lot of Catholic traditions and some beliefs, that's what we would do.

mbcdefg

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I was raised Catholic and continue to practice as an adult, so the Church's blessing is important to me. Plus like some of you said, I wanted the sacrament. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? I'm sure they expected us to have a Catholic wedding, but I wanted it on my own anyway so the topic of not having one never came up. I think they'd be really disappointed if we had a secular ceremony, but not to the point of boycotting our wedding. * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? He was raised Catholic, attended Catholic schools and made prior sacraments, but doesn't really practice now. I think he would've been fine with a secular ceremony but he agreed to a Catholic one because I wanted it and he had no objections to it. * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) I try to attend every week. FI comes with me on Christmas and Easter with my family. * Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? yes* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? They'll be raised Catholic, possibly go to a Catholic school if we feel that's the best school wherever we live at the time (otherwise CCD classes). If they truly don't believe when they're old enough, then that's their decision. I might be disappointed but not mad. I think I'd be mad if their sole reasoning for not attending church was "I'd rather party on Saturday night and sleep in on Sundays," though, because that's just laziness.

I <3 Seabass

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? Even though we're not regular church goers we were both raised going to church so it didn't feel right to have a completely non-religious ceremony at the reception hall. But at the same time I wasn't going to fake being a good Christian so we could get married in a church. Instead we're getting married in a chapel and have a reverend perform the ceremony. We thought that was good compromise. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? They didn't pressure us per se but I'm not sure how either of our parents would have felt if we didn't have a religious ceremony or even suggested it.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? Well I'm Baptist and he's Catholic but he's not confirmed so there wasn't really an option to get married in the Catholic church (he was not really into the idea of getting confirmed for our wedding). So he was fine with having a Baptist ceremony.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Whenever we have a wedding to go to that's held in a church. So not often.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? We've talked about it, but I doubt it will happen any time soon.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? We've talked about that too, but not positive how that's going to work. We definitely want them to be raised to with some religion because 1. I just think it's good to have that basic belief system and 2. I think it helps you become a better person and helps enforce the difference between right & wrong, good and bad.

teamAandE

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I wouldn't feel officially married without a Rabbi's blessing. To me the two go together.* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? I probably feel this way because of my parents but we are on the same page.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? He is more conservative/religious than I am and not having a Rabbi would not even be an option.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Maybe once a year, if Avi makes me.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? I want to start going for the high holidays if I find a shul I like.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? Jewish, absolutely.

mbcdefg

I think part of that was b/c his parents got married by the JOP and just had their marriage blessed before he was to be baptized, so to him that was just as "right" as my way. That's a good point, Kate. FI's parents also had a JOP wedding and his late mom always seemed upset that they didn't have a bigger wedding in a church. While FI would've been just as happy if we had a secular wedding, I think that the tradition and expectations of a "normal church wedding" ("normal" for our personal circle, anyway) appealed to him more. I grew up with the idea that a church wedding was "normal," so even if my faith wasn't that strong I think I'd still want a church wedding for a sense of normalcy. FI mentioned in the beginning that an outdoor wedding might be nice, and I also liked the idea of that but I didn't like the idea of having it possibly rained out and marrying in the reception hall or something. I personally didn't like that idea.

Mye

* I am Catholic, have all my sacrements, its very important to me to say those vows in the church, in front of G*d, with the blessing of the church * My mom would have been very mad if we didnt have a church wedding. * Fi actually converted to be Catholic, he was Syriac Orthodox * I attend mass almost daily * Yes * They will be raised Catholic, and will prob go to Catholic school

tvlirene

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding: We opted to get married in a chapel as opposed to on the beach. "church" to me isn't the building, it's the gathering of people in God's name "where 2 or more are gathered in my name, there I will also be" but the choice of the chapel made it a little more formal. I didn't want people in bathing suits standing around watching and getting into our pictures. * Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? Our faith. Let me just say I hate the word religion...for me it's a relationship with God not rituals. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? No * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? My husband was raised Catholic and was turned off by the ritual without true meaning. We started going to a non denominational church that preaches the bible...no man made rules are added. * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) We go to church together when ever he doesn't have a wedding on Sundays. In everyday life, read the bible and just talk to God...not always in a formal way...just talk to him...thank him...ask for guidance and wisdom. * Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?Yes and we do. * How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? My son will make up his own mind and I encourage him to seek for himself. I know in my heart that this life is not all there is. Life goes by so fast and I know where I will go after this life is over.

dmoney79

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one?   i never thought of not having it in a church....whenever i thought about getting married, it was always in a church....although, i did entertain the idea of at the reception hall....* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it?  not really, i know my parents would have been ok if we didn't get married in a church....but for him, he def wanted it in a church, a catholic church b/c of his family* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise?  we both really wanted it in a church...i would have loved for it to be in my church, but he wanted a catholic church, and i figured, we don't really have a pastor at the moment, so...as long as it was in a church, and the catholic church didn't mind that i'm lutheran...turns out, his cath church didn't have the day, but the one my dad and his fam attended was available, so we're using that...and they're ok with it since i was baptised there, they are "treating me as catholic" or whatever that means* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) i'm a c&e christian for sure....i hardly go....we've changed pastors a few times that i don't even know who ours is now...i used to go a lot more when i was younger.....but i don't think i need to go in order to be a good christian....fi? in the 3 years i've known him, i've seen him go to church 4 times, 1 for a baptism, 1 to check out his church for the wedding, 1 for a funeral, and 1 for a memorial service...and i went with him all 4 times....but he was raised going to a catholic school....* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?  he would like to....we like our priest we are using for the wedding, but its a half an hour from our house....but there's one near our house that we might check out, but its a catholic one....its not like i'm against catholics, i just think, well, i don't get why i can't take communion there and why they don't recognize my parents as being married (dad cath mom lutheran, married in lutheran church)- so i don't know how i'd be accepted in a catholic church...granted, they don't have to know i'm not, but still.....* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? i had to promise to the priest we could raise them catholic, and fi wants to send them to catholic school b/c he went to one, but i went to public school and i'm OK, so....i don't know...i said if we have the money we'll see....but we will definately raise them to be christian...since we're both christian.....i'd like to take them to church....

Rosie24

- Both Fi and I wouldn't have considered it any other way - Absolutely not though they would have been shocked and upset if we by some odd chance decided to go the secular route. -Same way. We are both the same religion -Not as often as I should and FI a lot less. -Yes -Catholic

eMiLee920

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? My FI and I are both Catholic. I always knew growing up I'd marry in the church; and his mom would be extremely upset if we didn't. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? Yes and no. We're having a Catholic ceremony, but we're refusing to have a full Mass. FMIL is not entirely happy with this decision, and my mom seems to be unhappy with it as well. * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? He's fine with the decision. He's been resigned to a religious ceremony for forever, but he was 100% with me on the no Mass decision. * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Once or twice a year (Christmas and Easter), but that's mainly to make my mother happy. * Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? Probably not. * How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? They will be raised in the Catholic faith, but I will respect their decisions when they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Karma01

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding: * Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? B/c I am Catholic I wanted to make the scarament of marriage * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? We both thought it was important to be married in a church * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? FI is not Catholic but he knew it was impt. We aren't having a mass * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Not a lot, it has been hard since my mom has died * Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? I would like to find a church wherever we move to * How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? Catholic

emt16

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I was raised catholic, went to catholic school and was a regular church goer until I went to college.  When I pictured getting married it has always been in the church* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? I think my mom would have been very upset if it wasnt a catholic ceremony but it is what i wanted so it never really came up * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise?He has made all his sacrements but his family was never really church goers so he really didnt care either way, it was important to me and he knew that* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Right now almost everyweek before last may only on major days* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? yes, just not sure if it will be the same church* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? They will be raised christian if not catholic, I have been thinking more and more about the christian faith. 

DMLJ

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? Because it has just always been a part of me. My family worked for the church for years, I went to catholic elementary school and HS, and I currently work for the catholic church as a teacher and cantor. My church is where I grew up and made all my sacraments, so there was never any other idea in my head that I woud be married some place else. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? No * How does your FI/DH feel about it? Once again, it was never a question in our minds... its just was a given that when we got married, it would be in a church. He was raised catholic as well * How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) Every weekend. For me, I go 2-3 times a week but only because of my jobs. * Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? yes * How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? Catholic

brad1431

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? We were both raised catholic and it is a sacrament* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? no, we want to do it.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? we feel the same way.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?)church like once a month* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? yes* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? they will be raised catholic, but we arent sure about catholic school

alliecarrie41

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one?  we are both catholic, and while not devoted religious people, it still meant something to us both celebrating the sacrement vs. just getting married legally.  there are many things in the church i don't really get sometimes, but for the majority, i like having religion in my life and wish i wasn't so lazy about it.  it also meant a great deal to our parents, although they never peeped a word about it, we knew.* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it?  not pressure, but we did it for all of us.* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise?  he wanted it even more than i did, and again, neither of us are "that" religious.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?)  before we got married, we were much better.  well, he lived at home and went every sunday with his mom.  i lived alone and probably went every month or so.  we have been very bad about it since, partially choice, mostly laziness or other things going on, also bc we haven't really found a church we love or that speaks to us.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding?  we try.  it hasn't really happened all that much.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality?  they will be raised catholic.  i suspect we will go to church much more, if not regularily, once we have kids to raise them as we were raised.  it's good for them :P 

Bashert628

For those of you who had or will have a religious wedding:* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I practice my religion* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? Nope* How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? He doesn't practice any religion but was brought up Christian. We had my Cantor and a friend of the family who is a Reverend. Kelly could care less.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) I try to go to as many as I can. I teach music at my synagogue and my dad is the VP of the temple.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? See above* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? Jewish

neilly18

Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? I never really considered another option.  Besides fulfilling a sacrament when I think of the church ceremony it has a certain granduer to it that I think will be awe inspiring. It is probably what I am looking forward to the most* Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? we orginally were going to have just a ceremony, but FI's mom really wanted a full mass - to me it did not matter so much so we switched to a mass. * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? Even though it was his mother who wanted the full mass he would have preferred a ceremony. I convinced him though that this one concession  was worth a lifetime of not hearing a complaint* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) before we were engaged not often enough. Now about 2x per motnh* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? I hope so, but this is a promise I continually break* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality? He/She/They will be brought up Catholic and will receive their sacraments; however if they choose to ever honor a different faith/no faith i would respect their choice

kewltif

* Why a religious wedding, and not a secular one? We were both raised Catholic and it just seemed like the right thing to do. Idk, part of me feels like a big fat fraud because I am not remotely religious or practicing, but that other tiny part of me has the Catholic guilt that thinks, "Well just in case, I might as well do this the right way now." I also enjoy the ceremonial aspect of it. There's something about a religious wedding that feels more official to me. * Did you parents' beliefs or expectations pressure you into it? We would have gotten married in a church anyway, but his parents would have laid down and died if we didn't.  My mom would have been a little upset but gotten over it.  If we didn't get married in a church, it would have set me on a really bad path with my in laws.  They are serious believers. They are not BSing or fronting. They would have been devastated. * How does your FI/DH feel about it? If you're of different faiths, how did you compromise? We are the same faith and we both agreed to get married in a church.* How often do you attend services at a church or temple? (If organized services doesn't apply to your faith, what do you do in everyday life to worship?) I only go for weddings, funerals, baptisms, etc. Once in a blue moon my in laws pressure me on a holiday, but even that's becoming less common.* Do you plan to attend church/temple after your wedding? Nope.* How will your kids be raised, in terms of their religion or spirituality?  We go back and forth on this and have discussed it a great deal but still have no plan.  We will baptize our future children Catholic basically to buy time to decide what we want to do later (and because I don't think there's anything wrong with it).  I mean, maybe I'd force my kids to go to CCD, but there's something about it that feels wrong to me. Like I'll be sitting in church even more bored than they are.