Vent

Rosie24

Fi's brother aka best man tells fi that he is bringing this girl he just started dating. BM knows that he was not invited with a guest. Fine. that is no big deal at this point. This girl knows nobody. This wouldn't be a big deal either. So I tell fi to ask his brother who this girl would go with ( not sure if she has a car and our venue isn't around the corner) and where she would sit, etc. etc.. His brother was like with me. Ummm hello, you are going in the limo with us and we are going like 2-3 hrs early to the venue with our families. What is this random girl supposed to hang out with my family while we are relaxing and taking pics before the actual reception?I just can't even deal with this anymore.

jaimelody

umm... BM didn't get invited with a guest? I don't know the relationship at all, but something says that's not right to me.About the girl, why not just tell her to be dropped off at the reception. I wouldn't want her hanging around while taking pictures driving to and from the ceremony and whatnot either. Does anyone in your BP have a date? or are they all sitting at the same table?

Rosie24

It's his brother. He wasn't dating anyone and he literally changes gf's bimonthly or so anyhow.  We said no relationship no date. But like I said one additional person doesn't matter. It's the point that he actually thought that it was ok to bring her in the limo and pics WITHOUT even asking.

Rosie24

I should have also said that they literally just started dating. There's really nothing I can do or say about it. I am just beyond annoyed.

jrsygrl719

I would assume being in the bridal party meant I was allowed to bring a guest. This wouldn't have even been a second thought.  I don't care if he changes gf's as much as he changes underwear.  I think you are being a little overdramatic about questioning how she would get there and such.  I'm sure your fi's brother is capable of figuring that out or is it possible if she doesn't have transportation that she can catch a ride with another guest?      

Rosie24

Sorry I didn't answer. No, my bp party consists of only my sisters and my cousin. All coming solo/with family. Fi's bp is brothers and friends. ALL are single (not in monogamous relationships) and know each other very well.

Rosie24

You are right. I agree with you except he said that he though that she could go with us!

mbcdefg

Compromise - he can bring her, but she can't come in the limo.It was rude of him to just invite her to the wedding, but ditto PPs that it would've been nice to invite him with a date in the first place. I get not wanting random people at your wedding but IMO an exception should be made for the wedding party since they're putting a lot of time and money by doing you the favor of standing up for you.

teamAandE

I think every situation is different. SIL wasn't invited with a guest either, it just wouldn't be appropriate in our family. My sister also wasn't invited with a guest.  We take these events seriously and both our parents wouldn't want them just bringing someone and having to answer questions to the 100+ family members in attendance.So Rosie, I hear you on that. And it's not really the extra 1 or 2 people, it's the principle. AND HELL_ no to her riding in the limo with you! Family/bridal party only! WTF!

angel33284

Wow, I can't believe you are going to let a complete stranger upset you on your wedding day. Who cares if she tags along? You don't have to talk to her. You'll be too busy having fun (I hope) with your friends. Just tell the best man that she can't go in the limo because then every person in the bridal party will want to bring their date, but don't get bent of he wants to drive with her. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

jessikayla

It is so bizzare that this girl would even agree to going to the wedding AND riding in the limo with you guys. I would be beyond uncomfortable if a dude I just starting dating suggested this!I definitely agree that it's the principle much more than the fact of him bringing her. He should have definitely consulted with you guys to see if it was even an option for her to ride with you rather than just assume so. 

Rosie24

I don't care if she comes. I don't mind her coming to the reception. I do care that he thought it was ok to have her tag along literally. Every situation is different. This just happened and I am just venting. I'll get over it:) 

jaimelody

Oh I understand where you're venting from then. Does FI's bros chica realize she'd be tagging along in the limo? Maybe she can speak some reason to him. I'd be embarrassed. But maybe he just doesn't know the seriousness of it all - it's not prom buddy. I feel your frustration... just put your foot down.

DMLJ

My BP is invited with guests but they def are NOT going to be riding in the limo with us.... thats just weird. There must be someone who can take her to the reception.

cherylanddan0706

Obviously you're ok with him bringing her, frustrated but okay, but I agree with pp that she should not be in the limo, I've taken fi to weddings he was in and just brought myself that's weird and tacky on his part and she might not even know this is being arranged, I highly doubt she would feel comfortable.

Kelly&Timothy

i think this girl will be relieved not to have to be in the limo.  think about it, would you want to meet your new BF's family at their daughter/sister's wedding?  and even if it is not your first official meeting i still wouldnt think she would be comfortable since she really doesnt know any of you.however, i do agree with those above and i think that regardless of how long anyone knows her your brother should have a guest if he chooses to.

misskris927

Aww Rosie! I'd have Pete talk to his brother and have him figure out the details for that day. There is no reason for ANY date/guest to go in the limo. It's for BP/Bride & Groom only. Don't worry about it- it's definitely not your problem to make plans for his date. If I were her, I wouldn't even want to come in the limo- that'd just be awkward!

tlc11934

I've never seen guests ride in the limo with the BP.  Rosie, I'm with you - my MOH is single and is not invited with a guest.  She hasn't dated anyone in years and it would be awkward to bring a friend and then ditch him.  I did it once, and it was really awkward!  Your FI has to talk some sense into his brother. 

melissa721

Everyone in my BP was invited with a date. Only 2 decided to bring one (who both actually did NOT show up, effing b!tches.) But, they had both planned on meeting our GMs at the reception. At no point did the GMs ask to have them in limo. That's just rude.

brad1431

if you are allowing her to come to the wedding it is her problem.  IF she wants to stand around for hours that is her problem, or she can make arrangements to drive.

kewltif

I totally agree with Brad (I feel like I've been saying that more often lately!) It's her problem. Let her worry about what she's going to do in between the church. If she wants to stand there twiddling her thumbs, then it's her problem.I'll be honest, pictures go pretty quickly, so I don't think it's a big deal if she's standing around.My bridal party did not have their dates in the limo, but we had a 15 person bridal party and lots of them had dates (I think a lot of them carpooled together). If it was just one person in the whole thing with a date I'd let them ride in the limo.Your brain will be wrapped around so many things that day that I don't think it'll matter.I know I got upset when I asked my MIL and SIL if they wanted to get their hair/makeup done with me and the rest of the bridal party and they said, "Yes, and make an appointment for our brother's girlfriend too." I was APPALLED at the time. He'd been dating her like a month and I didn't think it was appropriate to have a random extra person there.  I now feel bad because she wound up marrying him! So she is my new SIL and I'm the girl who wouldn't even let her get her makeup done in my room. In retrospect it so wouldn't have been a big deal and I should have just said yes.

Rosie24

Thanks for the feedback. It's not a big deal, this I know. My fi did talk to him so that's fine and we'll see. It was just the point of the matter. And we stand firm that she is more than welcome to come as a wedding but as any other guest not in the bp. Fi and I had a lovely dinner at Calandra's and I feel better! Yes, food makes me happy:) haha

reneel828

I think that if she drives and follows the limo and watches pics its not a biggie, even though I don't know why she would want to, But I wouldn't open your limo to guests. It is is not her place to be there.

justkris10

I had the exact same situation with 2 girlfriends of bridal party BM = DH's brother...they were coming from NC and having a bach party, going shootign, doing guys things for 3 or 4 days together prior to the wedding - same with one of the groomsmen (coming from FL) both wanted to bring their "girlfriends" and wanted them to tag along to ALL wedding activities, rehearsal dinner, etc. - oh and makeup too like Tiff said.... I was firm, said absolutely not. Like Brad said she's a big girl and it is up to her to worry about all that. Don't think about it for another second you have way too much other shyt to deal with