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Anyone With Me?

I think I am above and beyond stressed over wedding planning and my wedding is 11 months away...am I going to feel this way for the next 11 months? lol I think it is even harder because we live in Hackettstown getting married in Sea Bright ( maybe 1hr or more away) and most vendors I need to use are down or further away from the Sea Bright area. Also, we are paying for about 80% of the wedding, his parents gave us some money and my parents do not know if they can contribute some or anything at all. When I get in wedding mode sometimes I just want to cry! Am I alone in feeling this way?

Re: Anyone With Me?

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    edited December 2011
    Aw. Just breathe.  What I would do is try to make a few trips down there to see several vendors at a time and talk to them then.  Also, we are lucky that things are easily available online.  My friend just booked her dj at 3 months out, just seeing his video and reading any & all reviews she could find.  I am in the habit of trying to take 20% of the paycheck and putting it in a wedding fund and not touching it.  It isn't easy because everything is so expensive, remember no one is going to remember that you forgot to tie the ribbons just perfect or that you didnt have 90 monogrammed things. They will remember an unhappy/misreable bride.   
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, it is very normal to be stressed.  One question -- why do most of the vendors you use have to be down or further away from Sea Bright?  If it will stress you out to be planning with vendors who are far away, why not work with ones who are close to you or in-between?  Most vendors will travel.  We got married in Gladstone, and most of our vendors were based in the city.  Wasn't a problem at all.  Also, there's a lot you can do over email or the phone.
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    edited December 2011
    Also, what do you still need? I'm a monmouth county girl and there's a few others on here who can maybe give you some rec's in the area. 
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    edited December 2011
    Just relax and keep in mind that no matter what the small details, this is a day to celebrate your love.  At the end of it, you will be married and nothing else will matter.  Also, brides stress more on the little details than almost anything else.  If you're stressing now, then keep it simple and don't fall prey to wanting all the little things that other brides are having. Guests do not need monogrammed cocktail napkins, you will still get gifts without a cardbox, and favors are not essential.  These things are all nice but do not worry your mind with them.I planned a wedding from 4 hours away-it is difficult but do-able.  Keep on top of them with phone calls and emails and if you learn to use a scanner, your life will be simpler.  Most things can be done by computer.This is the happiest time in your life so keep it that way.
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    edited December 2011
    I got lucky and our DJ isn't charging us for travel and they are in Wayne. The hair and makeup are being done down there and the woman is traveling from Cherry Hill ( 2hrs) and for our trial we have to take a day off work and travel to her ( 2.5 hrs). The woman that is marrying us lives down there as well, as is the photographer. I haven't met them yet and it is hard to schedule a day down there for everyone at once. Im hoping for a day down there in March. One of my bridesmaids has not been to a single dress adventure ( although she has had valid reasons). We are trying to make ends meet now and trying to save at least 400 or more a month for the Wedding. Maybe I just want to go one day without thinking about wedding planning...I need a drink! lol.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why not use a hair and makeup person who isn't in Cherry Hill?  There are tons of good ones elsewhere in NJ.  If this one is just amazing, then it is great that you're using her -- but if it is stressful to take the day off of work to travel to do your trial (that would be stressful for me certainly), maybe pick someone else?  It just seems silly to get stressed about/complain about how far away the person is when there are so many that you could use that would be so much closer.
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    edited December 2011
    She gave me an excellent price. And yes she does amazing work. I do need limo and shuttle services and it seems the only one in the area is Arrow Limo. I know how much time I have, but I also know how much money I don't have!
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    edited December 2011
    First Class Limo they are out of manalapan or marlboro, right on route 9.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Excellent price and excellent work sounds like good reasons to make a trek to Cherry Hill.  So maybe instead of looking at it like "Ugh, my life is awful because I have to take a day off of work for my makeup trial," think of it as worth making the trip.  I do feel like there are good reasons for inconveniences, but if you deliberately pick someone inconvenient because you really like her, you can't really complain about the inconvenience.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it's important to determine your priorities, and to realize that everything will not be perfect (no matter how hard you try). An approach that's worked for me thus far has been to pick a few things that FI and I really care about (good photographer, the church, the hall), and then for other things we're not horribly concerned with (invitations, rehearsal dinner, etc.) we're just trying to find a decent vendor who'll offer us a good deal. It also helps to tackle one big project every couple of weeks, and give yourself time off in between, and handle some little things in between. So we've gone balls-to-the-wall with the stuff we really care about, and we've developed a "You know what, that's good enough" attitude toward the rest. Because if you try to find the *perfect* vendor for every single detail, and are making 40 appointments per detail to try and find the perfect product, you're going to drive yourself nuts. I went to four salons to find a dress, and we visited about 7 or 8 halls before we booked one, and I researched a ton of photographers ... but for the invitations, we found a website that had affordable designs that we liked, ordered two samples, picked our favorite and that was that. The invite process took maybe a week, no appointments necessary.
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    acablitasacablitas member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey, you're definitely not alone in this.  I'm in a similar situation - FI and I are paying for 95% of the wedding ourselves, & our ceremony/reception venue is a hour away from us as well. Take deep breaths when you pick up planning again, and try to make it as fun as possible.  If you need to take a break (a few days or a week) from planning, do it!  It definitely helps relieve some stress. I take breaks every few weeks, and we're only a short 5 months and change away & have a lot to check off our list as well. So no worries, you're not alone :) 
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    edited December 2011
    I'm with you. I tend to obsess and thus overanalyze everything. I wish I could just chill, but frankly, it's just not my nature for something this big in scope!
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    joyceg07joyceg07 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey, I am totally with you. FI and I are paying for 75+% and we live in Astoria and are getting married in Basking Ridge. It is hard not to stress about every little thing, but I am trying to keep in mind that we still have a lot of time (we are also about 11 months out) and I don't NEED every little thing. I also think that taking a break when you are feeling overwhelmed is important. I don't want to resent the wedding...I want to be excited about getting married! 
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    Angie550Angie550 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    nsteeples did you grow up in H-town?
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    edited December 2011
    Its totally natural to be stressed, but I must say I'm getting married in freehold and leave in south monmout county and only two of my vendors are local, I haven't heard one say that its extra to travel in the 19 months I've been planning.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks! That has been helpful. I think I needed to vent to people who are going through it or have went through it! No I didnt grow up in Hackettstown.
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    edited December 2011
    other than have your first meeting with your vendors, you really shouldn't have to see them until your wedding day. and a lot ofgirls on this board pay for 100% of their weddings.
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    Angie550Angie550 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I live in (right outside of actually) H-town too, but I grew up there. 
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    melissa82melissa82 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I lived in Seattle, San Francisco and Columbus for all of my planning, so I have no sympathy! Sorry. =) I would love to be an hour away!
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    edited December 2011
    It can get stressful, especially since we are paying for it all.  But we try to break it up into smaller pieces and spread stuff out so it doesnt seem as overwhleming.  Now we are starting to think about buying a house, that is going to be insane!!!
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    edited December 2011
    yes, brad, buying a house will be insane. i can't wait for all your _bitchen n moaning....wait, you do that everyday!
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