FMIL Vent-long sorry

hlumbf2010

Hey Guys! I need some advice.
My FI and I decided we wanted to have a small wedding (mostly family) because we are paying for this wedding ourselves. My FI wanted to elope but, I wanted to have my close family with me on my wedding day.
  We found a great deal on the Outerbanks where we could pay a flat rate for everything (place, food, photo, floral, dj etc.) Including our bridal party and family we were at around 50 people. We are not inviting friends, other than the ones in our bridal party, because we want it to be intimate and we do not want to go into debt. However my FMIL added her guests (her friends AND THEIR KIDS) to our list and now we are at 90+ people. When we told her how we wanted the wedding to be super small she said that she would give us money for her guests. She doesn't understand that fact that she will have more guests at the wedding than we will.
What should I do? Is it okay to alter her list?

momofayden

Is she contributing at all? Have your Fi  have the talk with her about the wedding and have her limit her list to 10 people or so.  tell her it's going to be very imitmate and private and inviting stranger and their kids just doesn't encompass what the TWO of you want.  make sure you are both united on this or she is going to try to say it's all your doing. 

wlfpkbride

I would get FI to talk to her and make sure she understands it's not just about the money. If she still doesn't understand I would just tell her that you're going to have to cut people and give her a maximum amount that she can invite. That way she can still invite who is most important to her. I wouldn't alter the list without telling her. The last thing you want is for her to start telling people they're invited or something like that. HTH

sundrop24

I completely agree with both pp.  GL!

SFBride2B2010

I would ask if she would be willing to contribute if not I would cut them!