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program wording for parents...

So my parents are divorced and I was able to avoid how to word things up until this point, but now the programs need to be made and I am in a tough spot. My dad remarried when I was 4 and my father and stepmom are helping a little with the wedding. So the wording I came up with is... Parents of the Bride Barbara Blahbahblah (my mom) Bruce and Michele blahblah (my father and step mom) Its so hard because my mom is my mom but I can't ignore the fact that my step mom has been in my life for 20+ years and us helping pay. Do you have any suggestions for other wording? TIA

Re: program wording for parents...

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    edited December 2011
    I'm putting both my step-parents in the program. I don't see why you wouldn't.
    ~Chelsea~
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
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    edited December 2011
    Paying shouldn't have anything to do with it. It's about your relationship with them. Like Chelsea said, I don't understand why you WOULDN'T include your step-mother in the program. Would your mother be upset at this? (And her name is going first so it's not like she's second fiddle.)
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    jerzegirl201jerzegirl201 member
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    edited December 2011
    It's a little weird because my mom never remarried and kept my dads name. So it might be confusing for people (fi's family who don't know my family situation)e
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    jerzegirl201jerzegirl201 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's exactly why I put her name first.. And yes my mom has issues with my stepmom and says she's not my parent.. I thought by putting her first I can alleviate some of the issues. Mom is child and no matter what I do shell have something to be mad at.
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    edited December 2011
    I would put your stepmom on it whether your Mom likes it or not.  She helped raise you with your Dad.  Your Mom will get over it.I can sympathize with you...having divorced parents during the wedding process sucks.
    ~Chelsea~
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think anyone is going to come up to you and say "Hey which one of these is your mom?" If they are curious, they'll probably ask your FI/DH. I think the way you have it sounds great and can sympathize with having to dance around topics like these to make everyone happy.
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    jerzegirl201jerzegirl201 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah it sucks.. I got around it on the invite by putting ours names and along with their families.. But this I can't get around. I think this is th best way and my stepmom is amazing so she deserves credit too.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it is confusing at all. There are so many divorced couples in the world I can't imagine that your wedding will be the first one that someone has attended where the parents were divorced. The way you have it worded is completely understandable. I have been to weddings where the parents were divorced and on bad terms and the program was worded as follows Parents of the Bride Mrs. Mary Smith Mr. Joe Smith Parents of the Groom Mr. & Mrs. Bob Jones No one questioned why the brides parents were on separate lines and the grooms were listed together. It's perfectly understandable when they are separated that they are no longer a "unit". As a stepmom myself I would be extremely hurt if my stepdaughter did not include me with her father one her wedding day. While I am not her parent, I am part of her life -- the good part is her mother and I do get along.
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    edited December 2011
    Personally, I've seen programs worded that way quite a lot and I always just assume that if there are 2 women with the same last name, the one that's married to the father is the stepmom.  No big deal; no one's going to care or think it's scandalous!
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