What do you call your future parents-in-law?

smw42

So Kristen (not Kris)'s post made me think of posting this. Lately my FMIL has been leaving voicemails saying "Helloooo this is your mother-in-law, call me back..." talk about blood boiling! I know she's excited but when we were dating she made this huge stink about how I never called her by her formal full name and how I was being disrespectful- now I call her by her full name and she wants me to prematurely refer to her as my mother-in-law? UGH! I just say Hi and don't call her anything...I don't want to call her Mom out of disrespect for my own mother. But Mrs. XXX sounds weird too once we're married- and I'm afraid of her getting offended if I call her by her first name. Is anyone having this dilema? What do you plan on referring to your FMIL as?

erikag23

once we got engaged, i started calling them by their first names.  i never ask if this was okay, but i didn't feel comfortable calling them mr. & mrs. anymore nor mom and dad.if brad is a lurking, he will be coming outta the woodwork right. about. now.

Angie550

haha erika - I just thought the same thing about Brad...he had a field day the last time this topic came up.I dont really call them anything to their faces.  Not sure what I will do once we are married.

justkris10

I'm sure DH's mom would like me to call her ma/mom - but I could bring myself to do it, we're not that close (yet) they live in NC its just impossible to have that bond from a distance DH calls my mom...mom or ma - no issues, she doesn't say anythign about it and he doesn't think twice about doing it - but him/her are MUCH closer I just call them by their first names Guy/Terry - if she asked me to call her something else I would - but not mom & dad I mean what are you going to call her "mother in law"

ffbride_0813

I have always called them by their names.  The people at work think that crazy because most of them call their inlaws mom and dad.

cvl105

I've always called them Mary and Fred

smw42

I'm fairly new to the board...do I dare ask to be clued into Brad?

Just Jen

Kathy and Dennis.

akmackay

For now Mr & Mrs... after we are married it will be John/Janet- FI calls my mom Mrs... and my dad by his first name. My dad requested he do so- I think it's funny "oh hi gordon and mrs.."

hcer0708

I call them by their first names.

kle0113

Have always called them by their first names

melissamchiu

Mrs xxx.  I still don't think I'm comfortable calling her by her first name - she's just that kind of woman - strong, commanding of respect.  So unless I'm told otherwise, I'll stick with what works. DH calls my parents by their nick-names he made up for them (sometimes he'll refer to them as Mr xxx or Mrs xxx; not yet by first name nor mom/dad). 

alliecarrie41

FMIL always says "hi, this is mom".... we had the "you can call me anything you like" but i still either avoid name callign all together, or refer to her still as mrs. T.

smw42

I need to just suck it up and call them by their first names then! I'm scared...

lovbulldgs

My FI's mom has passed away but I call his dad by his first name.

FutureMrsF111

First names and thats all ive ever called them. FMIL would like me to call them mom and dad but I cant do it.

neilly18

Nothing really to their faces but in conversation, John's Mom and Dad -- "just for clarity sake", and in cards Mom & Dad I don't think it shows direspect to parents to call in laws by mom and dad but it certainly is a weird feeling

Angie550

smw - did you go to FDU-Madison?

Lola Minnie

i've always called by first names... OP, is your FIL's strict? I don't understand the whole concept of calling them mr. and mrs. if someone would like to enlighten me.

DiorAndKisses

Do you mean to their faces?  Just kiddin.  ;)I call them by their first names.

smw42

Angie- I actually went to Drexel in PhillyMy FIL aren't exactly strict I guess...just Italian, lol. His dad is super laid back and always says "Hey it's Bob" when calling- but his mother is very set on trying to enforce her dominance and I think this whole name thing is just an extent of that... I just can't bring myself to call her Mom.

Mye

Mom and Don Sr. ( but i call my mom the portuguese word for mom, so its diff)

Angie550

smw - nevermind you look just like a girl I went to school with.

hollyberry88

While dating, I called them Mr and Mrs. XXX.  Now I do call them mom and dad.  The other son and daughters in law call them that.  I do not think of it as disrespectful to my mom (although I did ask her if it was ok first), but more of a way of them including me in their family.  At first it was really weird, but now I am very comfortable with it.

lmontclair

It's the opposite in my situation. I would feel more comfortable calling them by their first names especially after living with them for five years. They are European and think its respectful to always refer to them as mr and mrs... This bothers me, it's so impersonal.

yankees320

I call his mom by her first name, which is kind of strange since it's the same of mine. We're both Mrs. Jennifer XXXX. I tend not to call his dad anything, but if I must then I will use his first name too.

Tara2316

I just call them by their first names. I always have though. I don't think I coudl ever call them mom and dad. Its just weird to me. FI still calls my parents Mr & Mrs though. I asked him when he's going to start being on a first name basis (and my parents have asked him to call them by their first names) but he says he feels weird calling them anything but Mr & Mrs..

itsme32985

I'm easing my way into mom and dad.  They always treated me like a daughter.

Lovemuffin1125

I try and avoid name calling all together, but if it can't be avoided, I use family nicknames.

dandb925

I call them by their first names. I really tried to avoid calling them by anything in the beginning, but now I don't have a problem with it.

littledaisies

I'm having this dilema now. I call my FIL Mr. and Mrs. G. That's what I've been calling them since I met them. Not too long ago my FMIL told me that since I'm going to be a part of the family I can call them either by their first names or mom and dad. I don't feel comfortable calling them mom and dad. I feel that's for my parents not them. I also don't feel comfortable calling them by their first names so I planned on sticking to Mr. and Mrs. G. Recently I sent them a card and wrote Mr. and Mrs. G in it. The next time I saw her she complained that I wrote that. She tried to make it a joke but I knew it bothered her. She said, "We told you to call us mom and dad so when are you going to start doing that!". I guess I never had a choice like she previously said. Now I have to tell her in a nice way I don't feel comfortable doing that and hope she doesn't get upset. I was hoping she would be over it but she sent me a birthday card saying Ms. H instead of writing my first name to prove a point.