Where do I start...Help pleas.

jess022302

Hey ladies! hope all is well.

So My fiance is 24 yrs old and I am 23 yrs old we are very young and just don't know where to start.  I have a huge family, our guest list is hitting almost 200 .  Currently we have $20,000 saved up for our day, I haven't booked anything as of yet because we are just beginning to look around.  I don't know how I can pull off this wedding with this budget because everything is so expensive.  Currently no one has offered to help us and we would really love to prove that we can do this on our own!  Where do I start? I know the venue is first but then what.  I never knew planning a wedding was so hard. We are hoping to save another 10k.  Do you think my budget is logical especially for such a huge guest list? any money saving tips?  Your words of advice would truly help..Thanks ladies!

cutiepie12702

I think if you can save an extra $10k you can have a really nice wedding for 200 people....with that said, don't count on money you don't already have saved - work with the budget you already have. If you have a wedding on a Friday or Sunday you can also save a lot of money. Weddings in the winter are also cheaper. Also, see what the venues have to offer you. For example, some might have centerpieces included so you can save a lot of money from that. If you guarantee a certain number of people, some venues may also be willing to lower the price per head. Good luck!

K&J64

First off, Congratulations and good for your and your fiance for having so much saved at such a young age - that's awesome, you two should be proud of yourselves!

I agree with the PP, don't count on money you don't already have saved, that's a good way to get yourselves into debt fast. Another suggestion is instead of typical banquet halls, look for restaurant/halls that can hold a large number of people. Try to do as much of the other things yourselves: programs, if you want custom escort cards (most venues will provide them), favors etc. Network, if you know anyone who's a photographer, florist or DJ talk to them first, they'll give you a better price than a stranger ever would. Decide who you want to marry you, in a house of worship, on site at the venue and then start looking for that person too. If you have a relationship with a minister or rabbi etc already go speak with them. And don't feel obligated to have a huge wedding reception. A buffet is less expensive than a 5 course sit down meal. You can cut back or cut out (though I wouldn't suggest cutting out completely) on the cocktail hour or the liquor (ie: serve absolut instead of ketel one) to save a little money too. Keep in mind whatever you spend on the reception all your other vendors will likely add up to be about 75% of that cost too (or so I've heard).

And although you're trying to prove you can pay for it yourselves, there's not pride lost in asking your respective parents if they wanted to contribute, even if they pick up smaller vendor costs like the DJ it will help you guys out a lot. Don't put yourselves into debt over a party whatever you do. The most important part is getting married, the wedding is just the celebration and it's just one day, don't pay for it for years to come.

Good luck!

akmackay

Are you planning on getting marreid at your venue, or in a church or other locaiton? Secure the church first if that's where you want to get married. Then, go to the venues. As others said- different times of the week/year are less expensive than others. Also, just because you are inviting 200 doesn't mean that's how many are going to come. We invited 215 (including +1s) and had 150 come. Everyone's decline rates are different, but I think the average is 30%?

Yes, you're young. But you aren't that young (in my opinion). I also got engaged at 23 and DH was 24- we got married at 25/26 when we had an 18 month engagement. So, very similar to you I'd assume.

Use these boards- girls here are very helpful in recommendng venues, photogs, DJs, florists etc in your budget. With being thrifty and smart with your choices you can have the wedding of your dreams at what YOU can afford. If you need to have a longer engagement to save up more money, there is no shame in that!

jess022302

wow so much to take in but thanks so much ladies.  I want to elope lol just kidding.  I totally get what you are saying about no pride lost.  My mom is currently single, I lost my father 7 years ago (which it's hard to think he won't be walking me down the isle, but I know in spirit he will), so I feel it would be kind of hard for her.  I have spoken to her and she did mention paying for my dress which would help and I would be happy with just that.  I just wish she would be more involved in the process of planning (not moneywise).  I love her to death don't get me wrong.  She is just not much into these type of things. 

You ladies have definitely helped thanks again

jess022302

akmackay

sad to say I am hoping my decline rate is like yours.  I am likely going to marry at the venue.  People see it as boom you're engaged so when is the wedding (well most of my familly) They tend to think it's a 1,2,3 process.  I'm tired of hearing so when is the date!? Pressured a little... but we've been engaged 12 months already.  Personally I don't mind a longer engagement but then again I want to start the planning now for a year and a half.  It will be a longer engagement than expected but I would rather do it this way then cause me to stress more than I have already.  Thank you for your advice

NJBRIDE324

Def try for a Friday or sunday wedding.  Also if you get married in the winter I know prices are alot cheaper.  One of my friends got married at the Prima Vera in Stirling Ridge last December.  The food is amazing there and I know that there prices are supposed to be very reasonable. 

Also I am biased because I am getting married there but check out the Tides Estate in North Haledon.  We got a great price and we are getting married there in the prime summer season.  I bet they would have great prices for a winter wedding.  I know they also do saturday daytime weddings. 

GL!!

gymchick05

Just keep in mind too, don't take all your savings for the next year and put them towards the wedding. You might get some back in gifts, but you cabt be sure on that. As much as a great wedding is nice, you want to be able to have security once your married and not be starting w/ nothing in the bank.

I dont know if you guys live at home, rent or are together, but FI and I are saving a lot of money now that he moved in with me 2 months ago. This way, we are saving his rent each month, joined our cell phones which saved another $75/mo and are going to join our car insurances which should save another few hundred for the year. When you add it all up, those little bits here and there help.

What I did as soon as we go engaged was opened up a seperate savings account for the wedding. For every bill I no longer pay, for instance my cell phone, I make sure I still take that amount every month and put it in the account. Same w/ his rent, etc. But at the same time we are making sure to still put enough in our regular savings cause you never know when your gonna need it.

Also, I dont know what you do for a living, but in my profession I am lucky that on occasion there are opportunities for consulting work. I take on whatever I can and even though I am working a ton right now, I just bank the extra $ for the wedding and our savings. After the wedding, I will see if I still need to do this, but I figure right now every little opportunity helps.

Another thing that helped me a ton, shop around a lot. Its a pain, but I met w/ so many people for photographer, video, flowers, even venues so I could be sure I was getting the best product at the best price. For instance, if I didnt meet w/ a bunch of florists, I wouldnt have found a terrific florist who is giving me more than all the others for almost $2k less!!  And also I'm DIYing anything I can, which saves money too- its time consuming but I think its fun

Congrats and good luck w/ your planning!

cutiekels

Dont worry!  It can be stressful.  I had 196 people show up at my wedding in Aug of 08.  On a Saturday night with everything, I did for 24,000.  We got married at Mercer Oaks Country Club in Princeton Junction and it was really reasonable.  Plus, the even coordinator is one of the best is the business and she made sure our day was perfect.  I did do some DIY things like make the invitations and programs myself as well as the centerpieces.  Your day will be great just take a breath and figure out what is most important to you and you will find places to cut your budget. 

Good luck!

[Deleted User]

Although people have suggested getting the church first I would do the opposite. Do as much research as possible on venues and see when you'll get the best price. Work around that. Winter months/ Fridays / Sundays are all cheaper.

Do some things DIY - cut out some things....you can do it.

I like the suggestion of planning your wedding with the savings you currently have. This way any extras you throw in there will be nice surprise for yourself

mbcdefg

I had a 120-person wedding for around your budget, so it's not impossible. Here's what I would suggest:

- Cut your guest list as much as possible. This is the #1 way to save money.

- January-March are usually the cheapest dates. Saturday night is the most expensive time, so consider Friday night, Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon/night instead. A Monday-Thursday night will be CHEAP if you can swing it. Brunch and lunch are cheaper than dinner. Some halls offer short-term dates, if you can plan in about 6 months or less (TOTALLY do-able, a lot of girls here have done it).

- Don't send out Save the Dates, because that obligates you to invite those people to the wedding. You may find yourself cutting people off the list before it comes time to send out invites, because you've lost touch with them. Save the Dates will be shooting yourself in the foot in that case. Use word of mouth, or e-mail, to inform VIP people of the plans so that they can plan accordingly. Save the Dates are not necessary.

- Keep your bridal party as small as possible. This saves you money on flowers, gifts, rehearsal dinner meals (don't forget that their dates need to be invited to that), and the size of the limo you'll need (or skip the limo entirely, it's not rude to ask them to drive themselves). It's also a lot easier to pick out attire and figure out where to seat them at the reception (don't split them up from their dates). You can also not have a bridal party at all, since it's not required and a lot of people say it avoids a headache and arguments. If there's no kids that you HAVE to include in the wedding, don't have flower girls or ring bearers.

- Don't spend a ton on invites and stationary. Paper gets thrown away. People don't care about the weight/quality of the paper, they just need the information and then they toss it. You don't need tissue paper inserts, menu cards, ceremony programs, inner envelopes, custom table numbers, monogrammed napkins, etc. Plus a lot of halls will provide the table numbers and/or the menus anyway, so use what they have.

- The little things add up. You don't need an aisle runner, pew decorations, confetti, petals, a garter, a special pen for the guestbook, a guestbook itself, etc. If you don't "WANT" it, then you don't have to get it. All you HAVE to have is the officiant, the license, seating for your guests, and food/drinks.

- Some halls offer a cheaper beer and wine package with no hard liquor. Or skip the liquor entirely. A brunch wedding is a good way to get away with this.

- Don't get your heart set on specific flower types. Go into a florist and say, "I have $x to spend and I need this list of arrangements. What can you do for me in that price range?" In addition to regular florists, get price quotes from supermarket florists, too. They're just as good and usually aren't as expensive.

- Nobody will ever know the brand name of your dress, jewelry or shoes. Veils are a giant ripoff in salons ... look on eBay or Etsy.com. Don't be afraid to borrow things from friends.

- We got a cake topper, toasting flutes and the cake cutting set as gifts. So don't buy them yourself because people might get them for you. And if not, the reception hall usually has house sets that you can use. Or ask someone if you can borrow theirs. You use them once and that's it, so it's not worth spending a lot of money.

- DJs are usually cheaper than a band. You don't need a second DJ, a lighting package or giveaways. Just hire someone to play music and make the necessary announcements.

- Rehearsal dinners don't need to be fancy. We had pizza and wings at a casual restaurant. You can also invite people back to your house for homemade pasta, or order out for Chinese or sandwiches. A full bar isn't necessary if you go to a restaurant. Alcohol isn't even necessary at all.

- Take a local honeymoon after your wedding day, and save up for a bigger trip a few months later. Not only will you not be spending a lot of money on two big events at once (and trying to plan both at once), but it gives you something else to look forward to once the wedding is over.

jess022302

@mbcdefg omg thank you so much for taking your time to give me all the wonderful advice and tips. such a great help