Dad AND Stepdad sorry kind of long

sweetpeacali84

I couldn't find any posts like this, so here goes: I have a wonderful dad that's in my life and a loving stepdad that's been in my life since I was 4. They both want to walk me down the aisle and I would like them to, but would that look weird since I'm so short and they are tall? Would it be akward trying to cram 3 people side by side down the aisle? I don't want to hurt my biological dad's feelings by him having to "share his moment" but my stepdad loves me and doesn't have any daughters of his own. Just me and my half-sister (who hes already walked down the aisle) I'm the oldest daughter for my biological dad and first to get married. My dad says I should just split the aisle time. Have my stepdad walk me down the first half, then have my dad walk me the rest of the way. Is that a bad idea? Since the walk up to the alter is very important. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! I'm so torn. If anyone has been in my situation or has any good advice, please let me know. I've got lots more dad/stepdad questions. TIA!

MaryDavidsMom

My heart bleeds for you, this must hurt so much. Here are a couple of ideas… If you are planning a Father-Daughter dance, have one “Father” walk you down the aisle and the other have the Father-Daughter dance. If you’re not having a dance then how about this… Your bio Dad walks you down the aisle and goes to stand on the far side of your Mom and Step Dad. The minster says who give this woman, they all say we do and the minster asks everyone to be seated. Your Step-Dad and Mom stay standing you give your Mom a small bouquet of flowers with a few sweet words and she sits down and finally you give a single rose to your Step-Father along with a few more sweet words. There will not be a dry eye in the house. ;-) In addition add to your program a note of thanks to the two men God gave you to help you become the woman you’ve become today. I don’t like this idea as well but… you could have a sand ceremony with a mix of closely colored sand in a vase for you and one of each color for fathers it’s a take-off on what you will find here. http://www.weddinglighthouse.com/index.php?p=1_11_Bride-Groom-include-parents As a piece of advice, if possible, get both men (not including your mom or step-mom) and tell them both how much you love them and how hard this is for you because you love them both. And if they can think of another option they can agree on, then you will respect their wishes. Men can have that kind of conversation. When you get the women involved… not so much. Happy wedding.

saraschneider

i am in the same situation, only youre luckier than i am. ever since i told my bio dad that i wanted him to walk me down the aisle along with my step dad, he hasnt spoken a word to me. that was in april. (we used to talk on the phone twice a day) so, if i were in your lucky shoes, i would say have them both walk you down the aisle at once. that would be my dream. if that is what your heart tells you to do, do it.[url=http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.theknot.com/tools/tickers/tt41100.aspx[/img][/url]

Jamilynn627

A bride walking down the aisle on the arms of two men who have both played an important role in guiding her to become the woman that she is today NEVER looks awkward or "weird."Ditto this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You could also have them walk right in front of you or right behind you so there aren't 3 people (one in a big dress) walking side-by-side.

sweetpeacali84

Thanks everyone for the good advice. I've decided that I DO want them both to walk me down the aisle. I think what I will do is when we get to the alter I will kiss my stepdad first then have him shake my Fi's hands then take his seat, then I will kiss my dad and he will place my hands with my Fi's then take his seat. That way everyone is happy and my dad still gets his special moment with me. Marydavidsmom- Maybe when the officiant says "who gives this bride" my dad can say something like "her family does." Or, I can have the officiant not even say it at all. Great idea about making a little speech and giving flowers and inlcuding it in the program. I would like to do that for my mom, stepdad, dad, and stepmom. Because they have all had a such a huge part in raising me and I love them. (plus it will make my ceremony a little longer which was a problem before) Sara- have you talked to your dad about how you feel? Maybe he doesn't realize your feelings are hurt. And, maybe you can do same thing as me. Good luck. I hope it works out for the best.

homediva

You can also have one walk you part way, and then one meet you in the middle and finish the walk - this is what my MOH did at her wedding!

jessi4d

I'm in the same position.  I loved the idea of both walking me down, especially since I am not having the officiant say "who gives this woman?"  (Nobody gives me away, this isn't Craigslist!    I felt like I was already compromising by having them both walk me, since my stepdad is my 'dad'.  I thought it was a nice compromise.  Apparently my bio-dad doesn't agree and won't speak to me anymore.  Hopefully he gets over it in time for the wedding. Good luck!

Boofy&Babers

I don't think it will look awkward at all, I think it's nice to have two people who care that much and want to walk you up the aisle! And people will think it's great. I would just have them both walk you instead of switching halfway. I'm having both my mom and my dad walk me up the aisle, they're divorced and I've mostly lived with my mom since then so I want her walk me up too. Good luck with everything! [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/] [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10714;6/st/20091227/e/Our+Christmas+Wedding/k/0a7d/event.png[/img] [/url]

SaraAlexine

My wedding was just a few weeks ago on 9/12. We were married outside, so we had a long walk to the "actual" aisle and alter. My Stepdad walked me from where we started, to the aisle where we met up with my dad, who then walked me all the way to the alter where he gave me away. Kind of like a relay race in a sense. lolIt worked out very nice, and I was able to include my stepdad - and was also able to give my dad the special moment of walking me down the aisle, and he alone, was able to give me away.

jessicravens

I am walking myself down the aisle and having my dad and step dad meet me at the alter and kiss each cheek before they sit down. 

megk8oz

When my mom got married the first time, she actually had her bio-dad and her grandfather walk on each side of her. My mom is also on the short side, and it didn't look weird at all ... those are actually some of my favorite pics in her wedding album. During the reception, she then split the father/daughter dance between her bio-dad and her step-dad. I had my own bio/step dad issues. But it pretty much came down to my step-dad will be getting the honors, and my bio-dad will be strictly a guest at my wedding (If he even shows up). Best of luck to you!

ucschmidmo

I am in a similar situation and I was coming to this board for help.  I would really like to have both my bio-dad and my step-dad walk me down the aisle.My mom is concerned that we won't be able to fit 3 across (comfortably) while walking down the aisle.  One of her friends was at a wedding where the bio-dad walked the bride the first half and then the step-dad walked her up to the groom and that signified the progression of men in her life (bio-dad to step-dad to groom).Hope that helps (I'm 12 days away and still not sure what I'm going to do!)