MGs - Gifts

Lola Minnie

Did any of you have guests show up to your wedding without any form of a gift or even a card?

I'm not looking for flames here because I am not stating that I wanted or needed a gift.  I'm just curious if this happened to others also...

2 guests (neither brought a date) didn't even give us a card. One of them DH works with and originates from England so DH said, they must not give gifts in England.

So now that I have my TY's.  Do I still send those 2 TY's basically for coming?

mbcdefg

Yes, we noticed at least three. And these were all people in our immediate families

I sent a "Thanks for coming/thanks for your support!" card.

Lola Minnie

I guess that will have to be my plan, thanks!

It will be like this I assume:

"Thank you for coming and sharing our special day.....
Love Lola Minnie & DH"

monkeeluvr414

I was wondering the same thing for my upcoming reception in August.

I've gotten a few "no" response cards. 1 of them had a check in it. Other than that, I guess i'll see how it plays out when they come to the party.

Maybe i'm wrong, but i'd assume guests would at least bring a card? I'm not expecting anything. Just wondering.

uppereastgirl

Yes.  We received a few gifts when we got home from the honeymoon, and after that we had 4 lingering.  

The gift from my maid of honor was backordered, so it came about 2 months after the wedding.

2 were from single guys in their 20s who are M&A lawyers.  So not only did they not have women pushing them to send gifts promptly, but they regularly work 80-100 hour weeks so it wasn't exactly the first thing on their mind.  Both told us repeatedly that they owed us a gift (one kept saying "and I have a year to do it" because of that old rule).  We got one gift a year after the wedding, and one a year and a month after the wedding.  We sent thank you cards then.  Not ideal, but it would have felt weird to send them earlier when we knew we'd get a gift.

The other no gift was an engaged couple.  We never received a gift or card for them, nor any explanation.  We sent a thank you for coming note six months after the wedding... figured that was enough time to not come off as passive aggressive (sometimes people do think that they have a year to send a gift, so sending a "thanks for nothing" card too soon after the wedding can maybe be a bit rude if they do plan on sending a gift but haven't gotten around to it yet?)

Anyway, it things a bit awkward when we were invited to their sh-tshow of a wedding afterwards (it was clear that these people have never seen an etiquette book)  and my husband was a groomsman.  We ultimately decided to take the high road and give them a nice but somewhat smaller gift (not from the registry because they didn't have one of those).  We still haven't gotten a thank you note from them, and they've been married for two years.

demarcosjd

Yes we had a few guests that didn't give us anything. Same as MB generic thank you for celebrating with us etc.

Lola Minnie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:68271939-0ffd-4f28-949c-e9a13dd79474">Re: MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes.  We received a few gifts when we got home from the honeymoon, and after that we had 4 lingering.   The gift from my maid of honor was backordered, so it came about 2 months after the wedding. 2 were from single guys in their 20s who are M&A lawyers.  So not only did they not have women pushing them to send gifts promptly, but they regularly work 80-100 hour weeks so it wasn't exactly the first thing on their mind.  Both told us repeatedly that they owed us a gift (one kept saying "and I have a year to do it" because of that old rule).  We got one gift a year after the wedding, and one a year and a month after the wedding.  We sent thank you cards then.  Not ideal, but it would have felt weird to send them earlier when we knew we'd get a gift. The other no gift was an engaged couple.  We never received a gift or card for them, nor any explanation.  We sent a thank you for coming note six months after the wedding... figured that was enough time to not come off as passive aggressive (sometimes people do think that they have a year to send a gift, so sending a "thanks for nothing" card too soon after the wedding can maybe be a bit rude if they do plan on sending a gift but haven't gotten around to it yet?) Anyway, it things a bit awkward when we were invited to their sh-tshow of a wedding afterwards (it was clear that these people have never seen an etiquette book)  and my husband was a groomsman.  We ultimately decided to take the high road and give them a nice but somewhat smaller gift (not from the registry because they didn't have one of those).  We still haven't gotten a thank you note from them, and they've been married for two years.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

Uppereast, our 2 guests also keep promising DH a gift. And he's laid back like oh don't worry about it.  Part of me wonders if they will still send us a card or something after we send a thank you.  We'll see.  One guest who didn't gift us a gift was a total drunken nightmare at our wedding.  He supposedly flashed some guests back at the hotel after our wedding.  He supposedly tried climbing the fountain in the back of our outdoors area.  Such a mess and then to see not even a card, I was like oh super.

cherylanddan0706

We had 1 person who didn't, my Brother, he stopped talking to me after the the wedding.  I sent him a card thanking him for letting my nephew be apart of the wedding and for them coming.  Thats the last piece of mail my brother will get from me.

cvl105

We had a few of those...we'll send a TY card still. "Thanks for coming and celebrating with us!" and in invisible ink "and thanks for not giving a card or gift you a**hole"!

cherylanddan0706

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:3e801a79-bef0-4eeb-846a-25e2efd9b91c">MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]One of them DH works with and originates from England so DH said, they must not give gifts in England. So now that I have my TY's.  Do I still send those 2 TY's basically for coming?
Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]

They do give gifts in England, typically not money though...

teacup0618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:3a151338-7580-40d7-b744-f81f370dbe4d">Re: MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a few of those...we'll send a TY card still. "Thanks for coming and celebrating with us!" and in invisible ink "and thanks for not giving a card or gift you a**hole"!
Posted by cvl105[/QUOTE]

HAHAHAHA Thats great!

cherylanddan0706

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:3a151338-7580-40d7-b744-f81f370dbe4d">Re: MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a few of those...we'll send a TY card still. "Thanks for coming and celebrating with us!" and in invisible ink "and thanks for not giving a card or gift you a**hole"!
Posted by cvl105[/QUOTE]

Thanks Chelsea I needed a laugh!  I wish I did that hahaha.

jaimelody

We had a few guests who didn't give cards. Only who who never said anything about giving a gift afterwards. It was really weird. I am still planning to send a card, but at the same time, I feel like a card with nothing in it would have been better. It's so up in the air. DH's 2 uncles didn't get us a gift. One promised to have it later on, and the other said they only give gifts after you've been married a year because that's the real celebration. They are a special couple.

Lola Minnie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:fb1e8d1f-1053-4964-86d6-e03103833c83">Re: MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to MGs - Gifts : They do give gifts in England, typically not money though...
Posted by cherylanddan0706[/QUOTE]

DH just likes to make excuses.  He'd rather martyr his coworker than be mad he didnt even show up with a card.

lovbulldgs

We also had a few people not give a gift or card.  A few have acknowledged that they owe us a gift others are unknown.  I understand about the gift being a lot of people were from out of town but I felt a card would have been nice.  They were all married or people who brought a date with them. 

I was told not to write a thank you note for ones that did not give a gift but I felt bad doing that and wrote thank you for coming and such. 

Lola Minnie

Know what's going to be fun, when we attend one of their weddings & DH says we have to give X amount when they came with $0.  That's going to piss me the heck off because I know it will be a generous amount since we have to respect people he works with / for.

akmackay

We had a few who didn't give anything at the wedding- all friends. All but one has since sent a card or given a gift- and the one who hasn't yet just finished his BAR exam and keeps promising us a check. I told him to wait until he's a lawyer making the big bucks so we could get a decent one haha. (no, I'm not a b!tch, we're just sarcastic like that- I've known him since high school)

mariaNryan

I think its sooo rude not to give a card at the wedding, if you dont have money then just give a card!!!! UGH

Karma01

Some of MH friends and some of my relatives didn't give anything along with a very good friend. Still haven't sent a thank you card to say thans for coming, maybe I will this week. Part of me doesn't want to.

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_mgs-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:2c1dc28a-e445-40c9-b34b-222bdd42096aPost:e199eb83-8627-4e0b-af45-7c7165e4b249">Re: MGs - Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Know what's going to be fun, when we attend one of their weddings & DH says we have to give X amount when they came with $0.  That's going to piss me the heck off because I know it will be a generous amount since we have to respect people he works with / for.
Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]

I definitely hear you on that one.  We decided to take the high road/two wrongs don't make a right so we did give the no gifters a gift... but I am still angry about them (particularly because we didn't even get a thank you note for the gift we ended up giving them).

Magoobie1001

We had a few people who came and never gave anything, but most of those people were out of towners who flew here, and really that was all they could afford.  I sent those people thank yous and wrote how thankful I was that they were able to make it to the wedding.

lblumetti

I think that would just be so wrong to come and not bring a gift.  I mean a card to say the least!  I probably would not send them a thank you card, personally.

jchristel

Someone came to my shower and didn't give a gift or a card, so I'm expecting the same for the wedding.  I didn't send a thank you for the shower no gift. I mentioned the idea to FI and his mother, but they were both very against it (this person is on their side)