Ok, so I've been coming here for a few months asking about low budget venues that will allow outside caterers in the Raleigh area, I was really going out of my mind. But it worked out, we found the perfect spot!
We picked the Barclay Villa in Angier! And honestly, I was pretty surprised at myself.
The theme is very castle like, not at all the shabby chic easy going elegant that I was planning. Angier is almost an hour from RDU which I felt was a big deal for my out of town guests. But when we did the numbers we realized that most people would be driving out here and the handful that will be flying we could always go pick up and bring to the hotel. In fact the hotel closest to Barclay provides shuttles to and from the venue! No tipsy guests getting behind the wheel!! They just started letting people bring in outside caterers, the only downside is that the venue is too far for our originally planned caterer, but I'm sure we can find another. All in all, it's wasn't what we thought we were looking for but it turned out to be more perfect than I could have hoped. It is about $2k over budget but since our date is 10/6/12 we have over a year to pull in the extra cash. I do hate spending money, especially extra money, but I guess a place that has everything we really need is worth a bit more. Thank you everyone who offered suggestions!