Pregnant BMs

cherylanddan0706

*sigh* MBC's one liner did it all...I hope all your BM's get blessed and are pregnant for your wedding.

stapletond

This is just stupid.  Does it really matter if a BM is pregnant at your wedding?  One of my BM just announced she was pregnant and due 2 weeks after our wedding.  I'm ecstatic for her... because she is my best friend.   

Grow up and check into reality.

kathymarie

PROBLEM SOLVED: Just get this runner and you will not have to say anything!

kewltif

I don't understand why you are so sure they are going to pick your exact wedding month to be 9 months pregnant?  There's a chance they may be pregnant, but I wouldn't just assume they are going to be popping at the seems.

Laurms15

I think you might want to go over to the nest and just read through some of the posts where women talk about their struggles to get pregnant. Its heartbreaking to read those stories and see just how long it takes these women. Some of them try for months and even years before it happens. I would be so nice to be able to plan it but you just can't plan around mother nature. So if it happens for your girls i'm sure its not that they are doing it on purpose but because they have been trying for a while. Or on the flip side they think it will take a while and it happens on the first try (which is not the norm) Either way its a blessing.

goaliegirl

Obviously these people don't matter that much to you in your life if you are going to be bothered if they are pregnant at your wedding!  If they did, you would be thrilled that they are pregnant and in your wedding!   just because someone is pregnant doesn't mean they can't help with things.   It is very nice that you bent over backwards for some of them, but that isn't expected so you shouldn't expect it yourself.

Also, nobody will care as much about your wedding as you will....so don't expect people to change their lives for your day!

[Deleted User]

Lucky,

What is your concern about having a pregnant bm?  That she won't be able to do bm duties?  That you will be a bm short?  

As you see by most of the strong reactions you received on this thread, getting pregnant is a very personal thing and for some people is very sensitive.  I think you need to keep things in perspective.  Just as you are not thinking of your fbm struggle, she is not thinking of yours.  I'm not going to judge you for feeling the way you are feeling because we all have a right to voice what we are feeling, regardless of what is right or wrong.  What I will suggest is this, I don't recommend you share your feelings with your fbm.  You may wind up ruining your relationship with her.  You may get the same reaction that most people on this thread are having.  If you are going to have a conversation with your fbm, I recommend you wait to see when/if she gets pregnant.  There really isn't a need to make drama when you don't even know if it will be an issue.  Trust me, your fbm will not put off her plans to conceive just because it is your preference to do so.  

Hope this helps!

sweetrhythms

i think you need to realize that the whole world does not revolve around you and your wedding.  how selfish can you be?

MelanieK2011

I'm really confused about where your concern lies.  Are you worried that a pregnant BM won't be able to fulfill her BM duties?  Or are you worried that it will be hard to find a dress that could accommodate a growing belly?  Or, are you worried that she actually might go into labor at the altar, and that would be messy and gross?  Or, are you just concerned that having a pregnant BM, who would presumably be very far along, would steal attention from you on your special day?  Or, finally, are you concerned about how her pregnancy would look in your pictures?

Maybe it's none of these reasons - if so, could you enlighten us?  Personally, I feel like all of those concerns are pretty ridiculous.  A pregnant BM, even if she's ready to pop on your wedding day, can do countless things in preparation before that day actually comes.  There have been plenty of pregnant BMs in the past - yours certainly won't be the first - so you might have to look harder, but you'll be able to find a dress.  What are the chances that she would actually go into labor at your wedding?  And even if she did, think about the great stories you'd have from your wedding.  Plus, it's not like boom, water breaks, contractions start, baby pops out - there would be plenty of time to avoid a big scene.    And finally, your wedding day is your wedding day, regardless of anyone being pregnant.  You'll still be treated like a princess.  Finally, don't worry about photos, you'll be the focus of every picture anyway.  And lots of women look fantastic pregnant as well - glowing, happy, etc.

But, if it's truly how you feel - and you're entitled to feel however you want - just don't ask her to be in your wedding.  Doing so would be way less hurtful than telling her you don't want her to be pregnant at your wedding.  At least you can make up some excuse for not including her now - I don't know how you could possibly tactfully let her know that you don't want a pregnant BM.

kle0113

I am a preganant BM in fact a MOH and due a month before the wedding (Due date 7/11, wedding 8/14).  Me being pregnant does not impact what I need to do to plan a shower among other things that the bride may ask me to help with.  I am pregnant not dead. 

My girlfriend that is getting married is having an adult reception only and to be quite honest I do not want my child at the reception.  The music will be way to loud for an infant and besides that I would like to enjoy the night also.  I have already set up babysitters for the baby and the baby is mine and MH responsiblity no one elses. 

I don't really see what the issue is if your BM gets pregnant.  Also, like many girls have pointed out on this board it is not a snap of the fingers and you are pregnant.  It's not all about YOU and if you really care about these people I would be excited for them just like I am sure they are excited for you in the new chapter you are about to begin in your life.

cvl105

I know I might sound really rude with this, but I would prefer my BMs not be 9 mos. pregnant at my wedding.

I'm pretty sure your wedding isn't as important to your friend as her having children. I know it sounds harsh, but it's definitely the truth. I would not put off having children just so I wasn't pregnant for my friend's wedding.

dandb925

I'm a little late with this, but I don't see the big deal with having a pregnant bridesmaid(s).

Are you worried about them having kids before the wedding and having them there? Because like pp's said, not wanting kids at your wedding is fine (IMO especially if they're newborns/under a year old), but you cannot tell people to put their lives on hold until your wedding is over.

LuckyBrideToBe0013

Thank you to the people who actually posted helpful responses. I was concerned with a lot of aspects of the situation and I have since spoken with FI and my mother, who were able to help me get a grasp on the situation. I was upset with a situation, wanted to vent and get some advice and POVs from people on the outside. So, I sincerely thank those who were normal people.

As for the rest of you.

I am aware people have a hard time getting pregnant -- I do not live under a rock. I am aware of how getting pregnant works. I'm glad some of you got to feel smart for 15 minutes while you assumed I was an idiot.

To the drama hounds, I'm glad you were able to entertain yourselves for a few minutes. Obviously, you have nothing better to do than attack someone you don't even know. Why would any of you think you could accurately pass such harsh judgements on someone who anonymously posts on a board? You are rude and self-centered.

I have tried to be helpful on these boards and I thought that was the purposed of it. This place would be better if you drama queens got a life outside of picking on people. To quote one of you thoughtless losers: "Move on."

jrdnj

Since I asked my 8 girls, 2 are now pregnant and will be 6-7 months at the time of the wedding.   I knew that one was trying and not about the other.   I could not be MORE happy for them because this is a special time in their lives.   All i ask of them on my wedding day is to support me and to stand by my side at the alter.   The women that you choose to be in your bridal party are the most important and significant in your life that no matter what they look like, or how pregnant they are.  

Just one word of advice, make sure they order larger dresses if they are planning on being pregnant or you should order extra fabric just in case.  

jen629

all I can say is wow don't even get me started....

cvl105

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_pregnant-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:512a1429-f3d8-46ca-ac6b-2ebbb12445daPost:d0613654-0839-47f1-9405-3e99168c0c8b">Re: Pregnant BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you to the people who actually posted helpful responses. I was concerned with a lot of aspects of the situation and I have since spoken with FI and my mother, who were able to help me get a grasp on the situation. I was upset with a situation, wanted to vent and get some advice and POVs from people on the outside. So, I sincerely thank those who were normal people. As for the rest of you. I am aware people have a hard time getting pregnant -- I do not live under a rock. I am aware of how getting pregnant works. I'm glad some of you got to feel smart for 15 minutes while you assumed I was an idiot. To the drama hounds, I'm glad you were able to entertain yourselves for a few minutes. <strong>Obviously, you have nothing better to do than attack someone you don't even know.</strong> Why would any of you think you could accurately pass such harsh judgements on someone who anonymously posts on a board? <strong>You are rude and self-centered.</strong> I have tried to be helpful on these boards and I thought that was the purposed of it. This place would be better if you drama queens got a life outside of picking on people. To quote one of you thoughtless losers: "Move on."
Posted by LuckyBrideToBe0013[/QUOTE]

1) You're the one attacking right now.  People were giving their honest opinions. You asked for them.

2) From your original post, you're the one that sounded rude and self-centered.

3) Practice what you preach.

jtheiss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_pregnant-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:512a1429-f3d8-46ca-ac6b-2ebbb12445daPost:d0613654-0839-47f1-9405-3e99168c0c8b">Re: Pregnant BMs</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you to the people who actually posted helpful responses. I was concerned with a lot of aspects of the situation and I have since spoken with FI and my mother, who were able to help me get a grasp on the situation.<strong> I was upset with a situation, wanted to vent and get some advice and POVs from people on the outside. So, I sincerely thank those who were normal people.</strong>

You got advice and different POVs. Just because it wasn't what you wanted to hear doesn't mean you can just discount it as foolish or harsh. I think everyone had the kind of "normal" response that your "normal" BMs are going to have if you ask them to plan their pregnancy around your wedding. You are being ridiculous.

As for the rest of you. I am aware people have a hard time getting pregnant -- I do not live under a rock. <strong>I am aware of how getting pregnant works</strong>. I'm glad some of you got to feel smart for 15 minutes while you assumed I was an idiot.
 
I don't think anyone doubts that as a woman you understand how pregnancy works. It's because of that fact that everyone was so appalled. How could a woman who fully understands how pregnancy works actually (a) feel bitter about a BM being pregnant at her wedding, or (b) have the neve to ask her to plan around it.

To the drama hounds, I'm glad you were able to entertain yourselves for a few minutes. <strong>Obviously, you have nothing better to do than attack someone you don't even know. Why would any of you think you could accurately pass such harsh judgements on someone who anonymously posts on a board? You are rude and self-centered</strong>.

Hi, Pot, this is Kettle. And I think you gave plenty of information in your OP for people to form some opinions of you. Maybe you run in a different kind of circle than me, but I can't think of a single person I know who would think your attitude is appropriate.

oceana919

I'm praying to the fertility gods that all your BMs are preggers for your wedding.

Looking forward to your episode of Bridezillas...

noelle24

You? Considerate? BWAHAHAHAHA.....

Say this mantra out loud: "No one cares as much about my wedding as I do."  Repeat until it sinks in.  Because the world does not revolve around your wedding.

And guess what? Showers, e-parties, and b-parties? NOT REQUIRED.  Your BMs don't have to do ANY OF THAT for you. It would be a GIFT from them.  They are not slaves, and they are not people you milk for money and gifts.

Get over yourself, please.

njbrowneyedgrl74

Honestly, you get one day.  That's it, no more.  That day should be shared with your husband, your families and friends.  You can and should not tell anyone what they can and can not do with their bodies.  Don't think you're the first person to come on here with these thoughts.  You aren't and sadly, you won't be the last.  Sometimes things are better left unsaid and I really hope you rethink having a discussion such as this with anyone.  If you value your relationships, keep it to yourself.

Acrosthec

FI and I are getting married mid-August.  We want to start trying for children immediately, and haven't made it a secret among our friends.  I'm going to be a BM in a wedding April 2011.  If by some miracle, I get pregnant on the honeymoon, 9 months would be the week before the April wedding.  The bride of the April wedding said that I better not be 9 months pregnant at her wedding.  I smiled and laughed and passed it off as a joke, but inside I wanted to hit her.  Hard.  Please don't say that to your future BM.  If it's that big of a concern for you that she may be pregnant, just don't ask her to be a BM.  Don't put any kind of constraints on her timetable for having children; she'll just resent you for it.

BTW, FI and I are still going right along with our plans, and just not telling her (not that it's any of her business anyway really).  If we're so blessed, I'll deal with her later.

DandT1206

Lucky -  you asked for an opinion.... there it is!!
I agree with everything everyone is saying.  Now erase that selfish thought from your mind.