Pre Cana tomorrow

AllieCat16

We are going to pre cana tomorrow in newark.....any idea what to expect??
this may seem silly but can we wear jeans?

Pink7781

Yes, definitely.

smw42

Is this the God's Plan for Marriage? That was the more painful of the two sessions we went to. And you can definitely wear jeans. We went in the fall to a differnt location but the conference room was super cold, so I'd bring a sweater also incase they have the AC blasting. Good luck and try to stay awake!

mbcdefg

We wore jeans and nearly every other couple did as well.

We liked our session a lot, actually. It wasn't incredibly religious in nature, it was more about communication and practical things like that. There were several married couples who gave little talks, and there were a few activities to do in groups and as couples. A lot of it was very "duh" stuff, like making sure we had all discussed important things with each other prior to getting engaged (financial views, taking care of elderly parents, children, religious views, etc.), but it was surprising and a little alarming to see several couples who'd obviously never discussed these things before.

I go to church way more often than MH, and he was grumbling about having to go to Pre-Cana when I told him that it was a requirement ... but he got a lot out of it and he enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would.

smw42

The session that mbcdefg described we enjoyed as well. It was the God's Plan for Marriage session that we found painful. It was from 8am-3pm at the arch diocese and was heavily dedicated towards sex, birth control, having children, etc. It really was a waste of time.

akmackay

Definitely can wear jeans, and I'd bring a sweater or something b/c I am always cold.

It's really not bad. As mbc said, it's more about communicating on life's big issues than anything else. It really was shocking when they said to look at the budget sheet and discuss your debts how many couples were getting in arguments- like "you have HOW MUCH debt??" ummm how is this not something you know? MH and I just sat there like ok... well we have an excel sheet on our computer with our monthly expenses etc, no real need to do anything now. We chatted a lot with the couples at our table.

37 Butter Knives

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_pre-cana-tomorrow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:51b349bc-af06-43af-b601-50a94f74765aPost:38b680e1-b860-4523-ad50-ddf55331e7e8">Re: Pre Cana tomorrow</a>:
[QUOTE]The session that mbcdefg described we enjoyed as well. It was the God's Plan for Marriage session that we found painful. It was from 8am-3pm at the arch diocese and was heavily dedicated towards sex, birth control, having children, etc. It really was a waste of time.
Posted by smw42[/QUOTE]

Crap. I work a night job too, so it's going to be super fun trying to stay awake. Although I'll probably be too enraged to nod off.

And please don't tell me the Newark archdiocese makes you take and chart your vaginal temperature. While I'd like to know more about fertility awareness, I'm not going off the pill at this moment.

akmackay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_pre-cana-tomorrow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:51b349bc-af06-43af-b601-50a94f74765aPost:3f49a265-bba2-468c-a31b-cfe8a060a3ea">Re: Pre Cana tomorrow</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pre Cana tomorrow : Crap. I work a night job too, so it's going to be super fun trying to stay awake. Although I'll probably be too enraged to nod off. And please don't tell me the Newark archdiocese makes you take and chart your vaginal temperature. While I'd like to know more about fertility awareness, I'm not going off the pill at this moment.
Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

WTF? Why enraged? This is your religion you <strong>choose</strong> to be a part of, it's not a cult. They don't make you do anything you don't want to. Seriously, if you don't want to do the things that the church requires you to do in order to be married there, don't get married in a church.

smw42

I won't lie. They did discuss vaginal temperature at our session.

akmackay

but Sherri- did they make you track it? No. even if they discuss it to make you aware, you don't have to do it.

smw42

Allie- you're totally right. Some of the topics did become uncomfortable to discuss (in a room with 60 other people/30 couples) but it was just that, discussed, not forced. There were just moments that were a bit too graphic/detailed for my prudeness.

37 Butter Knives

Allie,

There's no choice here. Our families are pretty much forcing us to have a Catholic wedding, even though they know of my animosity toward the faith. It's not my religion - and I never considered it so, even though I did go through the sacraments growing up and the priest considers me Catholic.

I want to get married, and if I have to go through these motions to do so, unfortunately, that's what I'll do. I just want to know what to expect during these sessions. Knowing whether there will be lies about marriage equality or birth control, or if I'll have to take my cervical temperature, will help me, as I won't be shocked. I'll still be a bit stabby, though.

Statements like "if you don't want a religious wedding, don't have one" piss me off, because it's not always that easy.

And it's assuring to know I won't have to actually take my cervical temperature. Thanks!

akmackay

I just don't get it. Are your parents paying and therefore are forcing you to get married inthe Catholic Church? If I was so against the Catholic religion I would NOT get married in the church. I would much prefer to just have the two of us go away to town hall or to some island to get married (something WE could afford on our own, hence our parents wouldn't have a say) than to go into the Church and go through the sacrament of matrimony just for my parents sake. I'm in no way a religious fanatic, but I do know that getting married in a Catholic Church is a very big deal, and one that should not be taken lightly. I know it's not always "that easy" but if you don't want a Catholic wedding you really shouldn't be having one. It's disrespectful of the faith. (and I don't mean this to be a complete stab at you, it's just I've been hearing this more and more lately and I don't understand it. If you want to get married, get married. You don't have to do it in a church or have a big reception just to be married)

And no, pre-cana really isn't as bad as some make it to be. I went in thinking it was going to be "do this, not that" but it wasn't all that terrible. Sure they will say things like doing natural birth control rather than using the pill, but if you don't want to hear it, block it out. And at least mine provided food and drinks to keep us awake. And a run to Dunkin Donuts always helps. :-)

37 Butter Knives

It isn't about our parents' money. Simply stated, if we married outside the church, they won't consider us married. Their approval is worth more to me than a big party.

It's a shame they can't see it, but they're the ones being disrespectful of the faith - their faith! - by pushing me into a Catholic wedding. *sigh*