New Jersey

Butterfly Release

If you did one which company did you use?
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Re: Butterfly Release

  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Please don't do it.  It is cruel and gross and will make at least some of your guests sad and/or grossed out when a bunch of the butterflies are dead.

    Here are some perspectives:

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  • edited December 2011
    I agree...I know someone who did one recently, and my friend who was in the wedding said it was terrible.  When they went to release the butterflies (out of little envelopes), many of them were dead and just fell out of the envelopes onto the sidewalk, and many of the ones that were alive ended up getting trampled on by the guests.  It's cruel to use living things as props in your wedding.
  • edited December 2011

    Thanks for the input girls. I am doing the butterfly release because it symbolizes something near and dear to me. I believe the butterflies only die when you put them in the refrigerator to slow their movement. I don't plan on doing that. Trust me I would NEVER do anything to harm animals. I don't even wear leather or fur EVER and I didn't eat meat for the longest time because I felt it was cruel.

  • GolfChick78GolfChick78 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had a friend do one last year and it was quite successful.  She didn't refrigerate them, but they came shipped in a "cool bag".  I'm sorry, though, I don't know who she used.
  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:4642d0ba-04f6-4129-a24d-c70b9654abea">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the input girls. I am doing the butterfly release because it symbolizes something near and dear to me. I believe the butterflies only die when you put them in the refrigerator to slow their movement. I don't plan on doing that. Trust me I would NEVER do anything to harm animals. I don't even wear leather or fur EVER and I didn't eat meat for the longest time because I felt it was cruel.
    Posted by OXOX14[/QUOTE]

    <div>So it is okay to torture animals to symbolize something, but not to wear?  I think it is ridiculous to say that you would never EVER do anything to harm animals, when this is clearly a way to harm animals and you want to do it.  Saying you won't harm an animal by doing it doesn't make it true.</div><div>
    </div><div>Butterflies can die when shipped (and I believe they're always or almost always packed in ice for that -- so maybe you won't put them in the fridge yourself, but you're asking someone to refrigerate them ahead of time for you), when put in envelopes or whatever other package to be released, or when released into a climate/area that is not their natural habitat (where are they going for food afterwards?  where are their friends?)</div><div>
    </div><div>There are lots of decorative items with butterflies on them that you can use for your symbolism.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I love animals.  I would cry if a bride and groom asked me to do this at their stupid wedding, and would be super judgey.  I'm sure you'll have some people in your crowd who are NOT okay with this.  Don't do this to your guests who love animals.</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    I personally am very, very against this.
    But if you MUST do it for whatever reason.... PLEASE make sure you consider everything, not just whether or not they are exposed to any kind of cold (which is essentialy torture for them) but also whether or not they can survive in the region you release them (right time of year / near nectar baring plants, etc)!!
    Really do your research before you decide this is worth doing.... and thoroughly look into companies... preferably someplace other than here!
    Or better yet ~ consider the illusion butterfly release. Same effect, less cruelty.
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  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Did you see in the link that Upper posted (her first post), there is a Faux Butterfly release link.  I thought that was a great alternative to doing live butterflies.  It can still symbolize whatever it is that you are going for, without harming real butterflies.

    Please reconsider, because no matter how many ways you slice it, you are still putting a wild living thing inside a box, if I was a butterfly, I would be terrified.  

    Just my 2 cents, I don't think cooling them down in the cruelest part, moreso the part where you are releasing them into a different environment then they are use to, and they will die sooner because of it.  All butterflies are not the same and there are different types in different regions, for a reason.  

    Upper- Smile @ where are their friends?, I too like to think that all living things have friends, its a nice thought.  
  • edited December 2011
    Get ready to hear "crunch, crunch, crunch" whenever someone accidentally steps on a butterfly that landed on the ground for a rest instead of flying away.  It's really gross and a is a horrible feeling when you are a guest who didn't mean to step on them!  :-(
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  • GolfChick78GolfChick78 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    While I personally have no inclination to do a butterfly release, it seems to me that everyone is being unnecesarily hard on the OP.  I suspect these same people have no issue killing a spider or fly.  Or maybe even laying out traps or poison for mice.

    Again, I'm not coming out in favor of this, but it seems like maybe we could be a little less judgmental of others.

  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:657909f5-054f-4a06-8479-6aeaec5ceece">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]While I personally have no inclination to do a butterfly release, it seems to me that everyone is being unnecesarily hard on the OP.  I suspect these same people have no issue killing a spider or fly.  Or maybe even laying out traps or poison for mice. Again, I'm not coming out in favor of this, but it seems like maybe we could be a little less judgmental of others.
    Posted by GolfChick78[/QUOTE]

    I do none of those things.  I'll admit that I do eat chicken about once a week and fish about twice a year (but no other meat -- I stopped eating mammals in 1997) and I do wear leather, but I have never purposefully killed a bug and could never, ever, ever hurt a mouse.  In grad school I lived in an apartment that got infested with mice and I wouldn't let my landlord handle it because I knew that would involve killing them.  Tenderheart traps and blocking their access to our apartment got rid of the problem.

    I don't think it is right to torture animals for entertainment.  That's what's being proposed here.  By someone who claims she would never EVER hurt an animal, no less.
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  • maddie7maddie7 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tacky and over-done is my opinion but you do what you want!
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:4642d0ba-04f6-4129-a24d-c70b9654abea">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the input girls. I am doing the butterfly release because it symbolizes something near and dear to me. <strong>I believe the butterflies only die when you put them in the refrigerator to slow their movement. </strong>I don't plan on doing that. Trust me I would NEVER do anything to harm animals. I don't even wear leather or fur EVER and I didn't eat meat for the longest time because I felt it was cruel.
    Posted by OXOX14[/QUOTE]

    Er, no, it's more than that.

    Here's information from an actual butterfly organization, not just butterfly release companies who are out to get your money and will tell you whatever you want to hear:

    <a href="http://www.naba.org/weddings.html">http://www.naba.org/weddings.html</a> 

    PLEASE reconsider this. Do something with fake butterflies, if you absolutely must incorporate butterflies into your wedding.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:f9ec90f7-1432-48d2-81de-0fdbb4119684">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Butterfly Release : I do none of those things.  <strong>I'll admit that I do eat chicken about once a week and fish about twice a year (but no other meat -- I stopped eating mammals in 1997) </strong>and I do wear leather, but I have never purposefully killed a bug and could never, ever, ever hurt a mouse.  In grad school I lived in an apartment that got infested with mice and I wouldn't let my landlord handle it because I knew that would involve killing them.  Tenderheart traps and blocking their access to our apartment got rid of the problem. I don't think it is right to torture animals for entertainment.  That's what's being proposed here.  By someone who claims she would never EVER hurt an animal, no less.
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]


    Ever watch Meet Your Meat or Food Inc? The slaughter of chickens is probably one of the cruelest thing ever! I won't go into detail about what happens but it's bad. And the fact that they are given growth hormones because chicken is the most consumed meat in America makes it so much worse.

    As for the whole butterfly debate- I agree, it's pretty effed up. I don't know what kind of place you live in, but have you ever considered cultivating your own butterfly garden? If you visit the Bronx Zoo butterfly conservatory there are pamphlets on how to do so, what butterflies are native to this area etc. I think you can even find the info on the Bronx Zoo website. I was considering doing this myself in my own yard. Not for my wedding specifically but just as a hobby because it's extraordinarily beautiful.
    Then when the photog is taking pics of you at home, take some in your garden where they are free and happy in their own habitat. And they would be YOUR butterflies. Much like taking a pic with your dog or cat that day. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

    Just an idea. Might not be feasible for you and it will def take more time than having them shipped (which is sad) but if butterflies are important to you it might be worth it.
  • edited December 2011
    uppereast... while you are obviously very opinionated you really don't need to be rude. i am doing the butterflies because i want to. the question wasn't if i should or not. you were extremely rude and hurtful when you said "By someone who claims she would never EVER hurt an animal, no less." I have my reasoning why the butterflies are important to me. it's one thing to make your point, but you don't have to slam me and accuse me of harming animals! especially being a hypocrite and eating meat!
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm really confused as to why you still insist on doing this, despite being presented with a LOT of evidence backing up why this is not a good idea and why it'll more than likely result in a lot of dead insects.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:54ffd816-baa5-48b3-b662-bf5a9ecefb2f">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really confused as to why you still insist on doing this, despite being presented with a LOT of evidence backing up why this is not a good idea and why it'll more than likely result in a lot of dead insects.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    Because the symbolism is more important to her than the risks it presents to another living creature.  Correct me if I'm wrong here, OP.   
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  • edited December 2011

    I just wanted to say that OXOX14 has been thru a lot over the past week or so and my guess is that the butterflies r her way of incorporating a loved one that she recently lost into the ceremony. I dont agree w/ using living creatures, but she wasnt asking our opinions on the butterflies, just where to get them. I agree it isnt exactly nice to the butterflies, but I do think we can be a little more sensitive her while giving our opinions based on what shes been thru. OXOX14- I hope u and ur family r doing ok

  • edited December 2011
    This post has gotten out of hand. Everyone needs to just agree to disagree here. It's her wedding and other peoples' beliefs aren't going to sway her decision, as they really shouldn't. If you don't agree with it, don't do it at your wedding, but don't attack someone else for wanting to do it. It doesn't make her a bad person. Some people on here are obviously very passionately against it, and that's fine too, but this started as a simple question and now it's getting personal and it shouldn't be that way. 
  • edited December 2011
    the last thing i wanted to do what cause a huge debate. i don't have time or energy to argue with people. i just think once a point is made there isn't any reason to bash somebody.
  • GolfChick78GolfChick78 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is what I meant by my earlier post in this thread.  Some of these messages got awfully preachy and judgmental.  I can appreciate having a strong opinion on something and if you think there's an ethical issue, lay it out.  But then you have to  leave it to the OP or others to make the right decision for themselves.
  • Faith2730Faith2730 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:54ffd816-baa5-48b3-b662-bf5a9ecefb2f">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really confused as to why you still insist on doing this, despite being presented with a LOT of evidence backing up why this is not a good idea and why it'll more than likely result in a lot of dead insects.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    Confused?  I believe she never asked anybody for their opinion if she should do this or not.  She simply asked if anyone knew of a place that provided butterflies. 
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:6133c5af-ffd1-41c4-be4f-7662d1fcb0ef">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Butterfly Release : Confused?  I believe she never asked anybody for their opinion if she should do this or not.  She simply asked if anyone knew of a place that provided butterflies. 
    Posted by BridetoBe730[/QUOTE]

    This is a public message board. People can't dictate what answers they receive.

    And, yes, I <strong>AM</strong> confused as to why someone would insist on doing something that has been proven, multiple times, not to be a good idea. There are multiple threads all over these forums stating why it's a bad idea, including personal experiences from people who opened a box to find a dead butterfly, or had dead butterflies at her own wedding, or facts from people who know how releasing a foreign species into a new ecosystem is not a good idea. It's not the same as asking whether the bridesmaids would look better in purple or in leopard print.
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  • jchristeljchristel member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:ee0a91c1-d518-4389-8d67-7b18ca12e6be">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Butterfly Release : This is a public message board. People can't dictate what answers they receive. And, yes, I AM confused as to why someone would insist on doing something that has been proven, multiple times, not to be a good idea. There are multiple threads all over these forums stating why it's a bad idea, including personal experiences from people who opened a box to find a dead butterfly, or had dead butterflies at her own wedding, or facts from people who know how releasing a foreign species into a new ecosystem is not a good idea. It's not the same as asking whether the bridesmaids would look better in purple or in leopard print.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    Of course it's a public message board and you can say anything you want.  That doesn't mean that everything deserves to be said.  Everyone should have an opinion and that's cool, but it sure seems to me that tolerance ran a little short on this thread.
  • edited December 2011
    Boo. I feel sad for the butterflies.  I've never even heard of this until now.  I think I liked it better that way.

    Also, if I was a guest at a wedding where there was a butterfly release, I'd be extremely upset.  I understand you say it's to symbolize something to you (and I'm sorry for whatever happened and what you're going through), but please think about how some of your guests may feel.  I can't imagine you would want even one upset guest at your wedding because of something that didn't need to be done when you had an alternative.
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  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with mbcdefg.  When you post on a message board, you have to be prepared for the backlash.  
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:63cf59a9-9a2a-4ea7-b85c-d6c16a602680">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Of course it's a public message board and you can say anything you want.  That doesn't mean that everything deserves to be said.  Everyone should have an opinion and that's cool, but it sure seems to me that tolerance ran a little short on this thread.
    Posted by annandted86[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well, how would you expect us all to react if someone asked where she could rent pitbulls because it would be fun for her guests to see a dog fight at her wedding?  Not all ideas are good ones or nice ones.  I think that the strong reactions here show that it is a very bad practice (for various reasons, including some that don't have to do with the welfare of the animals involved).  I would think that would be valuable, because we're a fairly diverse group here and if a bunch of us are horrified, can't you assume that a bunch of guests might be horrified?  </div><div>
    </div><div>I think the value of these boards is that when people post "Where can I get [insert bad idea here]?", people chime in with "Actually, you may want to reconsider because of [insert reason bride maybe hasn't thought of yet here]."  There's a lot of experience and knowledge here.  If she wants just listings of places to get them from with no commentary, there's always <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=butterfly+release+nj">http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=butterfly+release+nj</a></div><div>
    </div><div>And I'm sorry, I just couldn't deal with the "I would never EVER hurt an animal except for when I hurt animals for symbolic purposes" argument.  This is hurting animals, plain and simple.  Now OXOX has some more information and can figure out whether harming the butterflies and possibly horrifying guests is worth doing something that is apparently deeply symbolic to her and can't be done in any non-harmful, non-dead-bug-including way.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm very sorry that OXOX had a bad week.  I like her and don't wish her any hurt and she can have my [[hugs]] for whatever happened.  But that something bad happened to her does not make me think that hurting butterflies is okay.  </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    Not to beat the horse here (no pun intended), but two quick points - one, people were way nicer today than TK used to be (anyone remember goldfish centerpiece-gate?) and two, I believe that OP just lost someone close to her- does anyone think that dead butterflies dropping to the ground is a good way to symbolize that loss?  I imagine it's not what she had in mind, aside from the animal cruelty issues. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I get that everyone has convictions and should want to speak to them.  It just seemed unnecessarily heavy-handed, IMO.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_butterfly-release?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:53cafcb0-2530-45f5-b394-19af322605f2Post:63cf59a9-9a2a-4ea7-b85c-d6c16a602680">Re: Butterfly Release</a>:
    [QUOTE]Of course it's a public message board and you can say anything you want.  That doesn't mean that everything deserves to be said.  Everyone should have an opinion and that's cool, but it sure seems to me that tolerance ran a little short on this thread.
    Posted by annandted86[/QUOTE]
    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    When did this board become full of Sensitive Sallys?  And what in the world did any of the comments have to do with a lack of tolerance?  They were merely stating the truth about animal cruelty and the absurdity of having a butterfly release at a wedding (aka: using the likely death of an animal to symbolize a lost life).  I, too, suffered a major loss recently, but I will be honoring that member of my family in other ways at my wedding.

    ETA: This is all assuming that the rough time the OP is going through has to do with the loss of someone near and dear to her.
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