BM Hair/Make Up Question?

kwilkinson14

I wish I had enough money in my budget to allow me to pay for my BM's hair and make-up but unfortunately there isn't. I'm not making my BM get their hair and make-up down professionally, they can if they would like to. How do I tell them that they have to pay for these services? Were you just honest with your friends? Is it understood that they would need to pay? I don't want it to seem like I am being rude, pushy bringing up money (if you know what I mean).  TIA!

smw42

I was upfront and told them this is the cost, but you aren't obligated, but to let me know if they'd like it done by my hair/makeup girl. As a BM in other weddings, I considered it understood that I would need to pay for myself.

uppereastgirl

Yup, I was just honest with them -- told them that my makeup/hair person would charge them x for hair, y for makeup, or z for both if they wanted any of those things, and to please let me know if they wanted in.  I've always paid for my own hair and makeup when I've been in weddings -- don't worry, it is probably what your girls expect.

Denise91980

I told my BMs that they can do whatever they want with their hair and make-up, whether they want to get it done or do it themselves. Once I get full prices I will let them know what my people are charging, but they are not obligated to get it done.

jrgoogrl

Just be upfront and honest with them. I recently just had the same convo with my girls because I wanted to book my girl since she books quickly. I'm just under a year out so we have time to decide who wants what, but I needed a count.

I have always either done my own hair and make-up for weddings that I've been in or pais for it myself, I've never expected the bride to do it.

I wish I could pay for my girls =(

mbcdefg

I just sent them an e-mail that said:
 
"I've hired a makeup girl to come to my house and do my makeup. She charges $60 if you want yours done as well, but this is absolutely not mandatory - feel free to use another stylist or do your own makeup. I booked myself a hair appointment at X Salon. If you want to come with me, let me know and I will book you an appointment and find out the pricing. Otherwise, feel free to get your hair done wherever you want, or do your own. The photographer will arrive at my parents' house at noon so please be there by then to start getting dressed."

We each ended up going to a different salon in town at 9 a.m. We met back at my parents' house at 10 a.m., since they elected to book the same makeup artist I did. 

I made it clear that the beauty services were optional but they said they had no problem paying for pro services. They also each asked if I had a preference for their hairstyles but I said to do whatever they wanted.

sk2342

 i am going to try and pay for the hair for my girls, but I do not think they are expecting it.. i am also having a makeup artist and exentding the invitation if they would like to get their makeup done, they are more than welcome and it costs XXX....

Laurms15

I just said if you want to have your hair and make-up done there will be someone there to do it. She charges X and I will collect the money and write her one check so there is less mess. Every single one of my girls got their hair done, only two got their make-up done and that was all their choice.

Lola Minnie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bm-hairmake-up-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:540d70fd-1ca5-4d4b-93d6-71dec7444787Post:8f4e4c83-ae2b-4ca8-8693-416ab731a143">Re: BM Hair/Make Up Question?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just said if you want to have your hair and make-up done there will be someone there to do it. She charges X and I will collect the money and write her one check so there is less mess. Every single one of my girls got their hair done, only two got their make-up done and that was all their choice.
Posted by Laurms15[/QUOTE]

Same here since I have to pay upfront a week in advance for it.  I did decide to
give some $ towards their hair and makeup as part of their gift for being in the bridal party. So I sent them each handwritten thank you's, explained the cost (which they knew) and that I was paying $X towards their hair and makeup. I included a business card from the salon and wrote their stylist's name & appt time which was already predetermined.

kwilkinson14

Thanks for the input ladies! I will be honest and up front with them about pricing and expectations (they can do whatever makes them most comfortable). I don't think they would have a problem with it but just wanted to see how everyone approached the situation.

mbcdefg

If I were a BM, I would most likely elect to get my hair and makeup done professionally anyway (unless i was flat broke for some reason), and I'd have no problem paying for it myself in that case. I'd want to look as nice as possible, not only for myself but for her pictures.

I would just be pissed if the bride told me that I HAD to have it done professionally on my own dime. And/or if I HAD to use the stylist that she picked on my own dime. Even if I would've gladly done it on my own the exact same way had she never demanded it.

I would be very offended if a friend of mine told me I "had" to do something for her wedding ... it's all about respect and giving people options.

kwilkinson14

mbcdefg - i completely understand your point and feel the same way. that's why i am not making the girls do anything. i will leave the decision up to them. i wouldn't want to be told what to do so i'm not going to try to push my BMs in that direction.

AllieCat16

agreed with everyone else....just let them know they have the option to get it done if they want. I think that's what i am going to do.

Denise91980....i think we are getting married on the same day...10/1/10

Denise91980

Yup! We are date twins
I think NJdevil (something) is also getting married that day.