Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress

peaches85

What do you think?

smw42

Just another trend- I feel strongly against it. It just seems disrespectful to do something like that for photos to a dress that has such meaning that you stressed over for how many years/months?

maddie7

I find it awful too- and disrespectful... Spend all that money and all the meaning behind it and then ruin it? Just dont get it.. Think its something unthoughtful and cold.

uppereastgirl

I voted "Do I really need more pictures?" but it was a toss-up between that and "Dumb."  Also, not that I am going to wear my dress again, but I think it would be sad to ruin it for pictures.  The idea of having pictures taken of a bride making a mess of her dress is absolutely absurd to me.  And I just can't wrap my head around why people need more than just engagement pictures (which we didn't do because we saw no use, but I understand why others do it and don't think they're silly) and wedding pictures.

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-trash-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:54ce9298-ca84-495a-99e2-3f5507afb3b4Post:ea9455fd-c256-43f4-b6da-7dda6214f888">Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted "Do I really need more pictures?" but it was a toss-up between that and "Dumb."  Also, not that I am going to wear my dress again, but I think it would be sad to ruin it for pictures.  The idea of having pictures taken of a bride making a mess of her dress is absolutely absurd to me.  And I just can't wrap my head around why people need more than just engagement pictures (which we didn't do because we saw no use, but I understand why others do it and don't think they're silly) and wedding pictures.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]
^This entire thing exactly (literally word for word, haha), except I decided to go with "Dumb" just to stress my distaste.

ecg129

I wouldn't do it, but I think it's  a fun idea. The point is - you're never gonna wear that dress again - and it's kinda artsy, I suppose.  

kasabby

I said Special Snowflake. I can understand why people wouldn't want to do it but I think it is kind of fun too. I don't know if it would be for me, but it would make for fun photos. Especially if you have small kids in your family or pets or something you were going to incorporate.

I haven't thought about what I would do with my dress after but something tells me I would want to keep it to show my kids. I know they will never wear it but it would be nostalgic.

mrsdevilguy

I did special snowflake - we're doing "day after" pics around the Prudential Center with FI in his usual devil attire since it isn't feasible on the wedding day.

cherylanddan0706

Would, and probably will, I love my dress but how much more disrespectful is it to be doing something fun in it then it sitting in a box for nothing to happen with it...BTW 99.9% of people I know who have done it, NOTHING has happened to their dress it cleaned fine, IMO that's a stupid thing to say.

sparkles2010

I think its immature to do that to your wedding gown.  Girls should just accept that is a dress you wear "once."   I see how its colorful and fun to ruin the gown (in the moment), but I just have an ill feeling in me thinking about it.  To each their own.

JeannineG122

That will probably be really funny to see in downtown Newark.

NJMom050911

I do not agree with this but to each her own...I plan to save me dress, remove the corset top to keep just because it's pretty, and use the bottom of it to make our future children's baptisms clothes. Whatever is left I would like to save and if still in good condition I hope that my daughter can use some of the fabric to wrap around her bouquet when she gets married (if we have a daughter) if not maybe a granddaughter? Either way I think it will be nice to have something made out of it.

Heather822

I think its ridiculous.

There are so many charitable organizations that help low income woman acquire used wedding dresses.... or women affected by hurricanes / floods whose dresses have been destroyed obtain new ones.

I think donation is a MUCH better alternative to trashing!

reese511

i think TTD is such an amazing new trend.  personally - i dont plan on spending a BAJILLION dollars on my wedding dress.  and after my wedding day - its just going to sit in my closet for the rest of my life.  why not put that baby on again and have some fun?!?! 

i dont plan on throwing dirt or chocolate or anything like that on it.  but i do want to put on some converse or boots or whatever and run around San Francisco w/ my new Huz and take some fun pics.  i dont see that as being disrespectful.  i see it as celebrating yet again - our love and our life together.  we love music and food and we love the city we live in - and i think it would be SO cool to have photos of us in our wedding clothes...just being "us".  you're only young once....you have to just LIVE.

"disrespectful" is such a strong word....and IMO kind of dramatic.  but thats just me.....

goaliegirl

First of all, there are ways to do a TTD session without actually trashing your dress!!  i have seen many people do it where you can get the dress cleaned up just fine!   I actually think it is neat idea, and think there is nothing wrong with it if you want to do it.   I think to say it is disrespectful is a bit over the top!

jtheiss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-trash-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:54ce9298-ca84-495a-99e2-3f5507afb3b4Post:ffd76a95-1a52-4463-8f76-b908ca801453">Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress</a>:
[QUOTE] "disrespectful" is such a strong word....and IMO kind of dramatic.  but thats just me.....
Posted by reese511[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with this. Your dress is not the symbol of your marriage like your rings or your vows. It's frosting, very expensive frosting on a very expensive day.

I'm too realistic to think that my future daughter will want to wear my dress or that I will actually turn it into pillows or a baptism gown for my kid one day. I think the TTD session could be fun! The only reason I said I wouldn't do a TTD session is because after planning every little detail of my wedding DAY I have no desire to plan one more wedding related event or spend one more dollar on anything wedding related! If FI wants to snap some pics of me sipping wine in my dress, maybe I'll throw it on again one day, but I'm not going to put any effort into formalizing a photo shoot.

Reilly626

I do think the dress is a big part of the wedding. Everything goes together.. my dress goes with our venue and our theme,  anyway I think before throwing food on it I would find a poor bride who could not afford a dress and make her day.

kristen8040

I think I wouldn't mind doing one on the beach or with our dog, not really "trashing" it, but my mom who is buying my dress might not be too crazy about it!!

kewltif

I guess I just find it self-absorbant.  I hired a photographer that was creative and artistic so we could get those fun pictures on our actual wedding day.  Why do I need YET ANOTHER set of pictures of us in our wedding outfits?

stapletond

This idea makes no sense to me.  I spent waaay too much money on a beautiful dress to roll around on the beach or jump in the water and ruin it!  The idea makes me cringe.

reese511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-trash-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:54ce9298-ca84-495a-99e2-3f5507afb3b4Post:a0287b1a-cf33-47c0-85ba-848e6205a56c">Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I just find it self-absorbant.  I hired a photographer that was creative and artistic so we could get those fun pictures on our actual wedding day.  Why do I need YET ANOTHER set of pictures of us in our wedding outfits?
Posted by kewltif[/QUOTE]


well...i hear what you're saying....but i dont think its any more self-absorbant than engagement photos.  (which i am not doing)

obviously its a matter of opinion....so no judgement on anyone to disagrees.  its interesting to see other POV's, since i havent heard of anyone recently objecting to TTD....

leah2b

I voted not for me.  I love my dress and hope to throw an anniversary party down the line where everyone wears wedding stuff (including their dress if they still have it and fit into it).   Haha!

jaimelody

We did a session the day after the wedding in coney island. And to be honest, my dress was dirtier from the wedding than it was from the shoot. I think it's a little odd that so many people are so against it here. You only get to wear that dress once. It's a little ridiculous to me to spend all that money and not wear it again. In either case, mines been sent to be cleand and preserved and none of the wedding day wearing or trashing did any damage and I got some awesome pictures.

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/FindByPoster.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-trash-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:54ce9298-ca84-495a-99e2-3f5507afb3b4Post:a0287b1a-cf33-47c0-85ba-848e6205a56c">Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I just find it self-absorbant.  I hired a photographer that was creative and artistic so we could get those fun pictures on our actual wedding day.  Why do I need YET ANOTHER set of pictures of us in our wedding outfits?
Posted by kewltif[/QUOTE]

This too.  If you have a good photographer, you'll get hundreds of awesome pictures of you in your dress on your wedding day.  Do you really need more pictures of you in your dress on a random Saturday in a context that had nothing to do with your wedding?   

For some reason I'm being reminded of the skit from The State, if anyone remembers that show, where they're taking prom pictures and the parents keep putting the kids in more and more ridiculous poses/combinations.

Engagement photos are kind of necessary for wedding annoucements and such, and they're traditional, which is why I don't see them as self-indulgent.  And it is nice to have some professional photos of you and your husband in street clothes.  We still didn't see the need, but I get it. 

reese511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-trash-dress-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:54ce9298-ca84-495a-99e2-3f5507afb3b4Post:564c1d06-5f09-4337-a785-b56953c7bf78">Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Poll: S/O - Trash The Dress : This too.  If you have a good photographer, you'll get hundreds of awesome pictures of you in your dress on your wedding day.  <strong>Do you really need more pictures of you in your dress on a random Saturday in a context that had nothing to do with your wedding?</strong>    For some reason I'm being reminded of the skit from The State, if anyone remembers that show, where they're taking prom pictures and the parents keep putting the kids in more and more ridiculous poses/combinations. <strong>Engagement photos are kind of necessary</strong> for wedding annoucements and such, and they're traditional, which is why I don't see them as self-indulgent.  And it is nice to have some professional photos of you and your husband in street clothes.  We still didn't see the need, but I get it. 
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

lets be honest - do we really "need" any of this stuff we are paying for?  do you <em>NEED</em> to have 300ppl in attendance when you can easily go to city hall or elope?  do you <em>NEED</em> to spend $50, $75, $100 on CP's when you can just have a candle and a flower or 2?  No, you dont "need" it...but you <em>WANT</em> it.  You want your wedding to represent you and your FI and you want a memorable celebration.  none of this stuff is "necessary" - including engagement photos.  you can easily announce your wedding w/o professional photos...an email or a phone call would suffice.  its matter of what is important to each individual/couple.  i totally understand why others choose to take engagement photos (and probably would have taken them if FI didnt think they were super cheesy =() i just dont see how TTD is any different.  yes...its your dress that you wore on one of the most important days of your life....but you'll never wear it again and lets call it what it is...its just clothing!  oh well...agree to disagree. 

uppereastgirl

Reese, that's definitely fair.  I guess the way I see it is that you get your one pretty princess day, and you should go all out and get it all out of your system then ... and then back to reality, where if you aren't a model, it is kind of silly to pay a photographer to follow you around in a fancy dress so you can pretend you are one.  It makes sense in the narcissistic society we've become, but still...

And yes, it is just a dress and not a sacred item, but the reason why the wedding pictures of me in my dress are special is because it was me all dolled up and excited on one of the most important days of my life.  Doing it on another day seems to me like it is just playing dress up in a pretty dress.  I mean, I'm sure most of you would think I was weird if I bought a red Dior couture gown, got fancy hair and makeup done, and then had a photographer pictures of me wearing it at the beach on a random day.  But somehow having it be a wedding dress instead makes it acceptable.

But this is definitely an agree to disagree topic! 

jchristel

I like this idea much better:

http://makingmemories.org/trash_the_dress.html