Parents walking down the ailse?

frostbitten

My mom is obsessed with walking me down the ailse. She believes that since both her and my dad raised me, they should both get to walk me down the ailse. This is also what she did at her wedding. To me, it doesn't seem "right". I think it looks wierd and super crowded. I know it's traditional in Jewish weddings, but it just isn't for me. I am not even that big on anyone walking me down as I don't believe in the whole "now we present out daughter for marriage". Plus, I am not even sure we will all fit in the ailse arm in arm.  I tried to talk with her about it last night, saying how I am not sure we would all fit and how she would already be at the front having lit the candle to be used for the unity candle. She started crying. Really hard. Saying how it's really important to her, etc. She said she would walk behind me and my dad just so she could be there. I told her that the bride is definitely supposed to be the last one up the ailse. And I would feel bad having her trail behind us. I am thinking the compromise is to have the three of us walk in and then my mom and my dad walk ahead of me. Do you think this will look wierd?  

coreybride127

I am not Jewish, and I am having both my mother and father walk down the aisle with me. they will walk me down 3/4 of the way, then i will walk the rest alone and meet my FI.To me, it is more important to honor both my mother and father (who raised me and were there for me for everything) than caring how it looks.

hvnlydevil

Have them walk in front of you as though they are presenting you to everyone-but definitely have her walk down the aisle. As much as it's your big day-it's a big day for her as well. She is marrying off her little girl. Just because it's not the traditional way for others-doesn't mean it's not "right". It's a once in a lifetime day, for all of you. Don't take that away from her based on others way of doing things.

frostbitten

Thank you all for your replies! I definitely do not like to make my mom cry and so I will do whatever makes her happy. Plus it is as big of a day for her as it is for me. I think I am going to try the various options (all together, them ahead, etc) and see what everyone feels is "right". Who knows, I may decided one parent on each arm is great?

banana468

An amusing story:  when friends of mine were getting married last year, they knew that it was his preference for the groom to process with both of his parents down the aisle and then to have the bride process down the aisle with her parents.  The bride and groom were wondering if they could go the traditional route at the rehearsal and the priest flat out refused saying if that's what he wanted he would never have made the trip for them.What I'd do: walk with both parents.  It's a great gesture.

Catwoman708

Are you Jewish? If so, I can see why your mother would be upset that you don't want her to walk with you, when it's an expected tradition. Especially if your FI's parents will be walking with him. If it is an expected tradition, then it will not look funny or crowded for both of them to walk with you, it will just look like tradition. If you are not Jewish, you could suggest a compromise. Have someone (or your Dad) escort her to the front, or to the altar, then have your dad walk you down, with you meeting her at the altar. Then they can both stand with you. Or have her escorted to her seat, and on your way down the aisle, stop and give your mother a kiss and hug, and present her with a rose.

180miles

I think it would be nice to walk with both parents. Many others have done it before so it's no unheard of. I think it would be weirder for you to walk behind them.

kailieandpierre

I've never considered three people walking down the aisle to look 'weird'. You could all three pause before the aisle, you in the middle the whole linking the arms thing, then your parents can walk ahead as far as their seats then wait for you to do the kiss kiss hug hug thing and then you go it alone the rest of the way ... which i guess isn't too much further. You know maybe your Mum's tears are more deep seated than the surface issue of walking you down the aisle. Her emotion may come from the entire aspect of her little girl growing up and getting married. Obviously it's not fair for her to emotionally blackmail you into her walking you down the aisle with tears but at the end of the day ... you need to consider the importance or symbology of the entire day and what it all means to you and your fiancee/husband.

cjcj05

A mother's perspective here.  I did not walk my daughter down the aisle with my husband but have seen it done several times since her wedding.  I must say that I think it is a very nice touch and the first time I saw it was at the wedding of a couple who were in their late 20's (not young kids attorneys) and I thought it was very touching.  If she walks down with you then your hubby should walk with his parents in my opinion.I just found out today that my FDIL wants her fiancee to walk me down the aisle which I am very happy about--he is my only son.Take a deep breath and think about it before you jump into something.