"Tipping" a Catholic Priest?

cindyn9178

I had mentioned to FI that it is not out of the norm for people to "tip" the Priest. He had no idea about this, and wasn't planning on giving the Priest anything.
We are already giving the church the required donation of $300, plus paying the organist/cantor fees and wedding director fee. (total of $750)

We are not close with the Priest (he is not a friend of the family or anything like that). Personally, I feel weird "tipping" a Priest for performing a religious ceremony. I understand making a dontation to the church for getting married there, etc.

Is it expected that we tip our Priest? And if so, how much?
I was thinking maybe $50.. is that too little? I know there is no way FI would go for giving the Priest any more than that, since we are already shelling out $750 to get married at this church.

*Edit* - we will be inviting the Priest to our rehearsal dinner and wedding reception if that makes any difference.

smw42

We gave the priest a restuarant gift card to somewhere near the church in a nice card. I thought this was better than giving cash as often they give the cash back to the church, and we wanted something for him personally.

cindyn9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tipping-catholic-priest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:67e7633e-565b-4a37-9228-c56c81346b8fPost:ea5916a9-c6da-48c5-9200-27fdf2735c5b">Re: "Tipping" a Catholic Priest?</a>:
[QUOTE]We gave the priest a restuarant gift card to somewhere near the church in a nice card. I thought this was better than giving cash as often they give the cash back to the church, and we wanted something for him personally.
Posted by smw42[/QUOTE]

That's not a bad idea. Do you mind me asking how much the gift card was for?

maddie7

We tipped ours $75, but we really like him a lot and see him weekly in church and figure he will be around for our baby's baptism one day....

smw42

We did two $50 GCs' but he's also a priest I've known for many years.

cindyn9178

Hmm.... I'll have to run it by the FI.. at least for me, giving a gift card feels more like a 'thank you" gift to him, instead of giving him cash - which would feel like I'm paying him to marry us - and that feels weird to me.

smw42

Haha I totally know what you mean. Our second choice if we didn't do the GC was wine/scotch but I think you have to know him and know what he drinks to do something like that.

maddie7

Whose to say he likes the giftcard restaurant or store you buy for him. Cash is always best because you can do what you want with it. Remember they are human beings. Ours was vacationing in London after our wedding and had money to see a show or buy what he wanted. If you know he likes a particular restaurant, fine, but if not cash.

cindyn9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tipping-catholic-priest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:67e7633e-565b-4a37-9228-c56c81346b8fPost:e63740dd-f148-4be9-b44a-4c6c5ac72691">Re: "Tipping" a Catholic Priest?</a>:
[QUOTE]Whose to say he likes the giftcard restaurant or store you buy for him. Cash is always best because you can do what you want with it. Remember they are human beings. Ours was vacationing in London after our wedding and had money to see a show or buy what he wanted. If you know he likes a particular restaurant, fine, but if not cash.
Posted by maddie7[/QUOTE]

I actually personally know the secretary in the rectory, and I could definitely ask her for restaurant suggestions. She has worked there for years, and I'm sure she'd have some ideas, but good point.