Babies

ecg129

If this post makes someone hate me - so be it haha.

So.. I have 1 or 2 people invited to my wedding who may bring their babies.  I'm not a big fan of babies at a wedding. Honestly, at my age, I'm just not a big fan of babies - period. Sorry!! Maybe in a few years!!

One of the girls is one of my bridesmaids.  I know she is bringing a baby- but can I suggest a baby sitter? Maybe one I could help pay for?

The other is a cousins baby. She can't leave it with her parents..since she'll be at the wedding too... Should I just invite her and her husband and hope she gets the "gist"

What are your thoughts?

kle0113

Ok...I am pregnant and due a month before my girlfriends wedding that I am the MOH for.  My girlfriend is having an adult reception only and that is fine with me.  I do not want my child at the reception.  The music will be way to loud for a one month old and I want to enjoy myself without having to worry about the sound for my child. 

That being said my whole family is invited to the wedding and my in laws decided to leave for vacation the day of the wedding so they will not be able to watch the baby.  I am getting a hotel room and my daughter will be in the room with my nieces who are 16 and 14 and they will be the babysitters for the night. 

If you are willing to pay for a babysitter that is great, but a lot of first time moms do not feel comfortable with that at all.  Is there anyway she can have family watch the baby? 

akmackay

Why don't you hire a babysitter for the night and have them watch the two babies. I love babies, I worked for a daycare center for years, but I don't want them at my wedding. There are too many what-ifs when it comes to infants (unless of course it is your own- then by all means have the baby at your wedding!).

Just Jen

I love that you called the baby "it"

Just tell them. Usually people understand. I had to do this to 2 people, but no one seemed upset. Put out maybe, but not upset.

Lola Minnie

Definitely put just Mr. & Mrs. Ben Smith for your cousin.  Hopefully they will get the hint.  I don't understand why they can't leave it with his parents because I'm sure you didn't invite your cousin's husbands parents.

Maybe you can suggest your bm's parents (or her husband's parents) watch the baby.  Just be honest with her and say you are not having any other babies at the wedding.

cherylanddan0706

Honesty, just say no babies, but no parent should want to bring their baby, like KLE said, that is no place for a tiny baby

And Squee KLE you said daughter hehehe

mbcdefg

We didn't invite any children other than my 16 year-old first cousin. Several guests have small babies but we left the off the invite and will see what happens. So far, nobody who's RSVPed has included an uninvited guest/kid on the invite, but we're still waiting for maybe 50 more replies so we'll see what happens. So I would just address the invite to the parents and then deal with added-on kids if it happens.

I don't think it's rude to tell the BM, "I really want you to have a stress-free, enjoyable night. Would you like me to arrange for a sitter as a gift to you?" Then see what she says.

What would happen if she refused the sitter? Would you allow her to bring the baby, or would you tell her the kid cannot come at all?

ecg129

Thanks guys, some good ideas. LOL About calling the baby "it"  Geez 

Let's see how this one goes!

kle0113

Honestly and not because I am pregnant - you would never RSVP 3 with an infant.  That child has nothing to do with the count that you have to give to the hall so it in no way impacts what you are paying. 

If someone brings their infant what are you going to do tell them that they cannot bring the kid in.  And in all honesty you will not even know that kid is there.  To quote Angelina Jolie they are blogs...they do nothing, but eat, shyt and sleep.  People are not going to be on the dance floor with ear phones on their child.  Sorry! 

allforyou

i totally understand that you don't want babies there, but honestly telling someone that they cannot bring their infant might be a deciding factor for them. leaving your baby is tough, and leaving a young child is especially difficult if you do not have someone you trust to watch the child. i guess that can be something that you and everyone on here who responded might not understand because you aren't mothers(yet). kle0113- yes you are pregnant, but honestly i don't believe that you can understand what it feel like to leave your child until he or she is actually born. plus you have to take factors such as breastfeeding into consideration.

anyways, my opinion is that babies don't really take away from a wedding. yea, maybe that should be taken out of the room if they scream during the ceremony, but really they won't bother anyone. remember little babies sleep alot and they sleep through anything(including very loud music).

one last thing- they are free. it costs nothing to have them there, so if it makes a parent more comfortable, why not?

melissa82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_babies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:6d09239d-ca9e-4749-b57e-5625c562962cPost:6fc0e6e5-c5af-4c2d-830c-a9ad436cd685">Re: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]i guess that can be something that you and everyone on here who responded might not understand because you aren't mothers(yet).
Posted by allforyou[/QUOTE]

There are mothers on this board.

I'm sure a bride who isn't inviting children wouldn't be upset if a guest decided not to come because of it. They'd rather have the guest decline in that case (assuming it's not a really close friend or family member--in that case, I think the couple and the parents have to find a compromise).

I can definitely understand it being too hard to leave a baby. I give a side eye to people who can't leave their older kids. It's weird and unhealthy for both the parent and the child (IMO).

kle0113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_babies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:6d09239d-ca9e-4749-b57e-5625c562962cPost:6fc0e6e5-c5af-4c2d-830c-a9ad436cd685">Re: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE] kle0113- yes you are pregnant, but honestly i don't believe that you can understand what it feel like to leave your child until he or she is actually born. plus you have to take factors such as breastfeeding into consideration.
Posted by allforyou[/QUOTE]

I have taken all this into consideration and that is why my child will be at the hotel where the whole wedding is taking place.  I might be breastfeeding (not 100%) yet, but leaning much more towards it then bottle feeding and if you read my second post I said the same thing about how an infant has no impact on the wedding.  Now a 2 year old and older will as they are a lot more moble and can run around. 

kewltif

I had three people not come to my wedding because of their babies, and another threaten not to come but then "found a babysitter."

All of these children were 1 year or younger and really I wasn't negotiating on this.  If had invited everyone with their babies it would have literally been 10+ infants not to mention all the toddlers at my wedding.  I made my cut off at 5 years old.

I was somewhat hurt by the two family members who didn't show up.  DH's uncle (who literally lived in the same house with him growing up) and then one of my first cousins.  The uncle could have come without his wife if he wanted to.

My cousin's wife made a huge production out of it.  Interesting how she was able to go to a football game the weekend before and her friends wedding the weekend after without bringing her child.