Out of state venue opinion

alliaut24

Hi everyone! So I'm recently engaged and I fell in love with a venue that's about 2 hours and 45 minutes away from where I and most of my guests live in. If I paid for the hotel rooms do you think people would drive there for it? Just looking for some opinions. TIA

Laurms15

I would travel. I have a Maine wedding and a VT wedding next year. But I think it depends on the age of your guests, and their ability to possibly take some time off from work.

smw42

It would just be a destination wedding. Have you explored the venues in your area yet? I'd do that first and if you're still in love with the out of town venue then go for it. I don't think it's necessary to pay for your guests hotel rooms regardless of the location.

mbcdefg

Ditto PP, it would be very kind of you to pay for hotel rooms but that's really not necessary.

I'd go to a New York or Pennsylvania wedding if I had the time and money to do it. I really wouldn't have a problem with it if it was three hours away - that's not that far. Especially if you had it on a Saturday night, so I'd have time to drive there on Friday night/Saturday morning, and then go home on Sunday.

If it required taking time off work (more than a Friday or a Monday, anyway, although my vacation days are in short supply this year thanks to my own wedding) or spending money if we were on a very tight budget, it'd depend on how close I was to the couple.

jaimelody

I think you'll definitely have less people at the wedding if it's destinition regardless of if you pay for their hotel rooms. There are a lot of other things that go into planning to attend a destination wedding - taking care of pets, children, school, work etc. You don't really have all of those things if your guests are going home after the wedding. I would definitely check more in your area before choosing one that far away. Are you in NJ? Maybe the girls here can help and give suggestions about locations?

Just Jen

can I ask what teh venue is? I also looked at one that's approximately that distance away, and am wondering if it's the same place

SandDD

That looks gorgeous!!!! But you may be able to get the mansion type feel closer to home as well.  Check out the Hudson Valley area. 

The venue you liked reminded me almost of the Tappan Hill Mansion:
http://www.abigailkirsch.com/Locations/th.htm

You can also just look at the Thayer Hotel or Tarrytown House Estate.  In NJ, a friend got married at Skylands Manor & it was gorgeous! Not sure what your budget is, but there may be NJ/NY options that could be the best of both worlds!

reese511

i would go for sure...3 hours isnt that long really. 

alliaut24

I checked Tappan Hill and I didn't like it because I heard that Abigail Kirsch's food is expensive with small portions plus I wasn't crazy about the main room...it was kinda plain. The same with Skylands Manor...the ballroom is hideous but the grounds are beautiful. I'm not a fan of the Tarrytown house either. I'm soo picky. If anyone knows of any other estates in NJ or NY...please let me know! Thanks so much ladies!

uppereastgirl

We looked into mini destinations like that -- Hamptons, Newport, etc.  We live in the city, I am from NJ and he is from LI (both about an hour from the city), and we had  a lot of people coming from out of town, so we knew that unless we had a city wedding (which is a pain for guests in its own way), lots of people would be driving some type of distance anyway.

Some people won't make it, but some will make a nice weekend of it.  I would be sure that you pick a real destination -- somewhere some people would choose to spend their weekend -- rather than just a place that has a venue you like.  It is much nicer to ask guests to travel far to spend a weekend in Cape May than, say, Clinton.  Both are lovely, but Clinton isn't going to have much for tourists to do when they aren't at the wedding.  You also want to make sure hotels and such are close.

I'd also think about the travel for some of your guests.  We nixed the Hamptons because we realized that we'd be asking people from NJ to travel a pretty far distance (probably in Hamptons traffic), and we'd be asking our out-of-towners to fly into New York, rent cars, and then drive several hours.  That's asking a LOT.

And we also decided that somewhere random to us that wasn't a super hot vacation destination wasn't nice to subject others to.

Are you looking strictly for an estate?  We got married at one (Hamilton Farm Golf Club) but if you aren't a huge fan of AK's prices, I don't know that you'll like its prices.  (BTW, I've only ever heard really rave reviews of AK's food).

Other places I can think of in NJ:

Natirar

Trump National Golf Club

Chimney Hill Inn

Jasna Polana

Pleasantdale Chateau

Bonnet Island Estate

Morris Museum

Albemarle Mansion

On Long Island:

Oheka Castle

deSeverisky Center of NYIT (I may be butchering the spelling)

The Royalton

The Bourne Mansion

Nassau Museum of Art

Other:

Wave Hill (Bronx)

Blue Hill at Stone Barns (Westchester)

Alder Manson (Yonkers)

Wainwright House (Rye)

Not estates per say, but lovely, unconventional places:

The Garrison/Highlands Country Club (Hudson Valley)

Glen Ridge Woman's Club (NJ)

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens

and there are lots of neat places in the city that are old mansions, if you're okay with the city

37 Butter Knives

Remember, there may be people who work on weekends. I can't make it to my cousin's destination wedding in Lake Tahoe this summer. It's on a Friday, so I'd have to take at least three days off from work.

As for venues closer to home...

The clubhouse at the Orange Lawn Tennis Club in South Orange is like an old house, with fireplaces and furniture. The ballroom extension was constructed in the last few years, but it flows nicely both with the exterior and interior.

Bretton Woods in Morris Plains is a former mansion. It's a lot less expensive, but there are many reports that the food is mediocre.

kasabby

I don't think paying for the rooms is necessary. I would travel that far to go to a wedding--in fact, I have but stayed over. I would never expect that the couple getting married would pay for my hotel. You just need to think about who your guests are--are there a lot of elderly family members, people with families, etc.

teacup0618

I would definitely travel 3 hours to go to a wedding. I dont think thats far at all. Im actually going to one in D.C. in 2 weeks that is about 3 hours away. And i dont think people would expect you to pay for hotel accomidations. It's a nice gesture, but I dont think it's really necessary GOOD LUCK!

jessaly1

<div>Hi-I know this post is from a while ago but saw you got married at Hamilton Farm Golf Club and wanted to know if you did your reception in the event tent? Since its a blank canvas we are concerned about how much money we need to spend to decorate it. Any advice is much appreciated. </div><div>Thanks!</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_out-of-state-venue-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:709a328d-d0e6-4e1f-bef8-d7d9bbb3984fPost:1ef96e27-b25b-4b52-9fc4-d4a8dbbede39">Re: Out of state venue opinion</a>:
[QUOTE]We looked into mini destinations like that -- Hamptons, Newport, etc.  We live in the city, I am from NJ and he is from LI (both about an hour from the city), and we had  a lot of people coming from out of town, so we knew that unless we had a city wedding (which is a pain for guests in its own way), lots of people would be driving some type of distance anyway. Some people won't make it, but some will make a nice weekend of it.  I would be sure that you pick a real destination -- somewhere some people would choose to spend their weekend -- rather than just a place that has a venue you like.  It is much nicer to ask guests to travel far to spend a weekend in Cape May than, say, Clinton.  Both are lovely, but Clinton isn't going to have much for tourists to do when they aren't at the wedding.  You also want to make sure hotels and such are close. I'd also think about the travel for some of your guests.  We nixed the Hamptons because we realized that we'd be asking people from NJ to travel a pretty far distance (probably in Hamptons traffic), and we'd be asking our out-of-towners to fly into New York, rent cars, and then drive several hours.  That's asking a LOT. And we also decided that somewhere random to us that wasn't a super hot vacation destination wasn't nice to subject others to. Are you looking strictly for an estate?  We got married at one (Hamilton Farm Golf Club) but if you aren't a huge fan of AK's prices, I don't know that you'll like its prices.  (BTW, I've only ever heard really rave reviews of AK's food). Other places I can think of in NJ: Natirar Trump National Golf Club Chimney Hill Inn Jasna Polana Pleasantdale Chateau Bonnet Island Estate Morris Museum Albemarle Mansion On Long Island: Oheka Castle deSeverisky Center of NYIT (I may be butchering the spelling) The Royalton The Bourne Mansion Nassau Museum of Art Other: Wave Hill (Bronx) Blue Hill at Stone Barns (Westchester) Alder Manson (Yonkers) Wainwright House (Rye) Not estates per say, but lovely, unconventional places: The Garrison/Highlands Country Club (Hudson Valley) Glen Ridge Woman's Club (NJ) Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and there are lots of neat places in the city that are old mansions, if you're okay with the city
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]