Who to tip?

DMLJ

I know this has been asked a million times, but I just want to be sure.  I blelieve the rule of thumb is that if the vendor owns the business, you don't tip.  This leaves very few people for me.... here is my list.  What is your opinion

Owns their business
Hair stylist
Make-up artist
videographer
photographer
DJ
Harpist
Florist (she delivers as well)

Does not own business
Limo

So do I only tip the limo drivers??  The Maitre'd is taken care of already

TIA!

Reilly626

 

 This is from a friend's wedding planner:

 Here are the general rules for tipping. Although it is generally thought to be a voluntary, there are still areas of your wedding that require tipping, but you can still use your discretion when deciding on exact amounts to tip.Remember…tipping is how you say “thanks for a job well done!”Some vendors will add gratuities to their bills. Be sure not to double tip.BASIC TIPS ON TIPPING:

• All tips should be given in cash.
• If you have a wedding coordinator, give the individually marked envelopes to him/her and they will distribute to vendors
• If you absolutely refuse to tip, at least send a thank you card.  It is a great reminder of happy clients and let's face it, it'll help them book future clients.
• If you are uncomfortable giving cash to a vendor (let’s say you have a friendly relationship with this person) it is totally acceptable to offer them a “thank you” gift such as a gift certificate for dinner or tickets to their favorite sporting event.

THE ONES YOU SHOULD TIP

Altar boys or girls - $15.00-25.00 each

Limousine Drivers – 10-15% of the limousine bill, given at the end of the evening or when their services are over.  SOME COMPANIES INCLUDE TIP IN TOTAL/CONTRACT SO BE SURE NOT TO DOUBLE TIP.Valet Parking Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per car, prearrange this amount with the supervisor/banquet manager based on an estimate of how many cars will be arriving and a sign should be posted to guests that the gratuity has been taken care of.

Bartenders - 10% of the total liquor bill, presented to the head bartender or divided equally among the total number of bartenders who worked the full evening. Make sure that a tip hasn't been added to your contract already. Ask your banquet manager about this prior to wedding day.

Restroom and/or Coatroom Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per guest, prearranged again based on the number of guests.

Makeup artist or Hair Stylists – 15-20% of total bill.

DJ  $75-100.00. If you have 2 DJs (DJ & MC), give each person $50.00/$75.00/$100 (what you’re comfortable with) in separate envelopes. Ceremony or Reception Musicians - $20 to $25 per person, in one lump sum given to the person in charge.Banquet or catering manager/Maitre’d – 2 to 4% of total reception/catering bill (they will often distribute/share with food captains and bartenders) Ask your banquet manager for details.Photographer and Videographer - $75.00-$125.00 to main photographer. $50 - $75 to assistants.Officiant - To tip them is to trivialize their profession and extremely bad etiquette. Generally you pay your fee and that's it. If you wish to make a financial contribution to the church, you can do that separately. Florist - You don't need to tip the florist for making your arrangements but you can tip them an extra $5.00 to $10.00 per delivery location (3 locations=$15.00/$30.00) or $15-20.00 per staff member in one lump sum, for set-up and delivery. Wedding Coordinator: $85 to $125 for each assistant coordinator. If you are working with the owner or a senior member of the company, tipping is at your discretion, but the usual amount is approximately 10% of total cost of planner’s services.Wedding Cake Baker - You don't have to tip for the baking of the cake but if you are at your reception venue at time of delivery and set-up = $15.00 to $25.00Bridal Attendant: $75-$125 depending on the service

DMLJ

This is funny cause I used to sing wedding and we were NEVER tipped.  Also, ,the officiant sometimes would mention things like "Oh, they can spend xyz on flowers/unity candle holder" and then not give a tip to the priest.  Lol 

Thanks for that, but I'm still not sure if I should tip those who have their own business- essentially all the money goes to them anyway, so why give them any more???

backyardbride2010

I have no idea what the official right or wrong answer is. But my FSIL is a wedding photographer in Maine and we were talking about this a few months back. She said that she normally gets tipped because she is an associate photographer but that she thinks her boss should too and always feels so awkward when she gets tipped and the owner doesn't just because she is the owner when they have worked the same job. Her theory is that the business owner doesn't "essentially take all the money" like is commonly believed. He gets paid and then from that has bills to pay, equipment to buy, insurance to pay for and all of that. So his profit is pretty much the same as the associate because of business expenses. The business owners pay themselves a salary like their associates and the rest goes into the business. So just something to think about from a photographers stand point. Not sure if that's a regional view or the correct answer etiquette wise but it makes sense in my head!

sparkles2010

I think tipping is a "to each their own" kind of deal.  If you are happy with their services, then tip them.  However, there is only one area I would really tip ahead.

I received the best advice from a women who recently got married.  I know tailoring costs are out of control for bridal gowns, and you're already going to be paying $$$.  By slipping your tailor $50 or so, and thanking them in advance for all their hard work on your dress...., this will go a LONG way.  Obviously people should be doing their job, but if you are like me and worried about your dress, tip ahead.  After I tipped my tailor, she suddenly was acting like my best friend.  I'm just saying... it can work in your favor.  You will stand out because I don't think its customary to tip the tailor ahead of time. 

Heather822

I just had to LOL at the suggestion to tip altar boys/girls....! Really....?!?

DMLJ

i used to get tipped when i was an altar girl and it made me sooo happy! lol

jewls4287

Wow...that list is intense.  I think it's overkill.  I was told at numerous venues that the Maitre D tips out bartenders, wait staff, attendants, it's baked into their suggested tip or the % they get if it's written into the contract.

I also find 15-20% of the total hair and/or make-up bill to be way excessive.  I think what most charge to come on location is pretty steep...then 15-20% on top of that to me is flat out ridiculous.

This may come off sounding cheap, but I've always been a very generous tipper and just can't imagine giving that much. I'm struggling with the business owner thing too, I think I'm still going to tip them, probably just not as generously as those who don't own the business.

DMLJ

Like I said- as a previous wedding singer I NEVER got tipped and I think that was appropriate because my fee went all into my pocket after I performed the service.