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North Carolina

Tackiness

So me and my FI has saved up for this wedding within a short period of time and hadn't thought about others in advance. We have 11 girls in the wedding and 7 guys all together. The guys have purchased their suits and there is 2 of my girls who haven't. I offered to pay for their dresses by having a "fish fry or car wash" but no one wants to help; and to top it off; the two girls have came across money and still didn't think to get their dresses in advance like I had asked. So I extended the date for them to get their dresses by until Aug. instead of June like I told all the rest of the girls. I brought this to their attention or shall I say my FI aunt brought it to their attention and now their sayn their not going to be in it, they would rather be guest; b/c they have no money to contribute to their dresses. These two ladies play a very important part in my wedding and they mean a lot to me (the two ladies are my maid of honor and matron of honor). My mother has said that it is tacky for me to throw a "fish fry or car wash" for them; since they know what is expected in being in a wedding (purchasing their own attire). I thought to use some of my wedding decorations money in order for them to get their dresses, but my mother is freaking out and its causig me to freak out now. What do you think I should do? should I throw the fish fries or car wash, or should I just let them try and purchase it themselves before August?

Re: Tackiness

  • Beth0882Beth0882 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If they say they don't want to be in the wedding, tell them that is fine and you'll be happy they are there as a guest.  You don't want to force them into being bridesmaids and have them grouchy on your big day.  Let them do what makes them happy.  If they can really wait until August to get their dresses, tell them that you will be happy with whatever decision they make, but they can decide up until August so they don't feel the pressure to make a split second decision.

    Also, I wouldn't do any sort of fish fry or car wash as that screams "charity event" and you will probably make the bridesmaids feels like charity cases, which I am pretty sure they will  not appreciate.  Let them decide what to do and just be happy they will be there on your special day in whatever role they choose.
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  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Beth on this one.
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  • edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_tackiness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:6df0aa15-6d5a-4139-9fc5-cf1109a2d183Post:4579a783-d528-45a0-9850-4553d7fc1d33">Re: Tackiness</a>:
    [QUOTE]If they say they don't want to be in the wedding, tell them that is fine and you'll be happy they are there as a guest.  You don't want to force them into being bridesmaids and have them grouchy on your big day.  Let them do what makes them happy.  If they can really wait until August to get their dresses, tell them that you will be happy with whatever decision they make, but they can decide up until August so they don't feel the pressure to make a split second decision. Also, I wouldn't do any sort of fish fry or car wash as that screams "charity event" and you will probably make the bridesmaids feels like charity cases, which I am pretty sure they will  not appreciate.  Let them decide what to do and just be happy they will be there on your special day in whatever role they choose.
    Posted by Beth0882[/QUOTE]

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  • edited December 2011
    listen to Beth

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  • ecuchikaecuchika member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I too agree.  If you agree to be in a wedding then most people know the obligation required.  I think Beth said it well!
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