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I'm at a loss for words...

I just found out the a friend/colleague just lost her baby. I'm in shock- it not only affects her, but two other friends...

It's a long and confusing story. My friend broke up with her boyfriend (I'll spare this long story) yet they would still have some "fun". Last year she got pregnant and he told her to abort. She did. This year she got pregnant again, but she did not want to go through the pain and emotional torture that she did the last time. While she did not know if she could raise the child, she went along with the pregnancy. Our other friends had been looking to adopt a baby and when they heard this, they asked if she would consider it. She loved the idea! However, in the state of Florida two gay men cannot adopt a child legally. They hired the best lawyer they could to fight the state if it came to that. 

Pregnancy continued along. We were worried that in the end she would not want to give up the baby, but since they were all good friends she knew that she would not only give them a child, but also still be able to see her baby. They had a baby shower and had the baby's room painted in Winnie the Pooh theme, baby boy was named. They were set.

She was due last week. She went into labor on Saturday night and when they went to the hospital, the doctor found the baby had died. She had no amniotic fluid left and they were looking into why. She had to wait a day before they could perform a c-section. They baby was a stillborn last night. She is having major health issues now and is under constant watch as they do not know what went wrong. She is feeling as though it is her fault and is blaming herself. My two other friends won't talk to anyone they are so devastated.

I guess I'm just in shock. You would think that being healthy a week before the due date would mean you were in the clear. Of course there are times like these, but it's just so scary that this could happen the last week of your pregnancy. You never think it will happen to you, but this just proves it can happen to anyone.

*~allie~*

Re: I'm at a loss for words...

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    LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Wow.  So shocking.  It seems like such a rare thing these days!  I hope all your friends will heal!

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    DandT1206DandT1206 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    omg that is horrible news for everyone involved.  so sorry to hear this!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry Allie, thoughts with your friends and their families.
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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how everyone is feeling. Hugs!
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    Laurms15Laurms15 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How sad....thoughts and prayers to all of them!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear this.  Thoughts and hugs to you and your friends.
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    edited December 2011
    To make matters worse- it's my friend's birthday today. It's terrible that every year on her birthday she is going to be thinking back to this terrible time (or at least that's what I would do...) Ugh my heart is just breaking for them all! Thanks for the thoughts/prayers/vibes- I know they need them!
    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011
     My thoughts go out to her and the couple that were going to adopt the baby.  This actually happened to a friend of mine last year.  It was horrible.  I felt so bad for them.  Prayers to your friend. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    sid464sid464 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for you and your friends- it really is so sad and something you never consider until it happens.  I had a friend who lost her baby at 7 months this past summer, and went into labor knowing her baby would be stillborn, just like your friend.  She was also healthy and the doctors never found a reason for what happened.
    After that, she turned her phone off and didn't speak to anyone but her immediate family for about a month and half.  It's been really hard for her the last few months but she is coping and just recently got pregnant again.  I know one of the things that helped her feel less alone was speaking to other women who experienced a loss- maybe in the future that is something that would help your friends as well.
    It's so sad and hard to wrap your head around... I'm so sorry.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    There just aren't words to say how deeply sorry I am for your friends' loss and how I understand being in your position.

    The same thing happened to my aunt in 1998 and similiarly, my future-sister-in-law had a miscarriage far along in pregnancy.

    It's tough for everyone involved. The best thing you can do is be there to listen, to give hugs, and to be supportive.
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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry. Thoughts and Prayers
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    edited December 2011
    That is horrible! How devastating for everyone involved. My thought and prayers are with them.
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    edited December 2011

    I am so sorry, prayers to everybody.

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    edited December 2011
    This happened to a co-worker last year... 1 week before the scheduled c-section everything was fine and the baby was still born upon delivery. She was absolutely devastated. Prayers to your friend.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for both you and your friends. Thats terrible :(

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    Tara & Jose 10.17.10
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    edited December 2011
    Heartbreaking. Thinking of your friends, wishing them healing all-around.
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    felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cry I am so sorry for your friends.  Your story brought tears to my eyes.  You and your friends are in my thoughts.  
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    Lola MinnieLola Minnie member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    so sorry to hear this, allie. my thoughts are with you.  we literally just got back from the hospital visiting our friends' newborn baby girl.,, ,so that really was upsetting
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    JulepheniaJulephenia member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry. A friend of mine lost one of a pair of twins midway through pregnancy - she was lucky, and did deliver the other twin safely, if prematurely, but she does refer to her "angel". A cousin of mine was stillborn, as well... I do not know if they knew before delivery or not.

    My thoughts for your friends and yourself.
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    edited December 2011
    Very sad.  I am so sorry for all of your friends.
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    Kate ~ Mommy to Matthew 3/29/07 & Kylie 12/30/08 & Chase 3/31/11
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    edited December 2011
    Im so sorry to hear about your friends loss
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