How Many Do Not RSVP??

hlumbf2010

We are a week out from our RSVP date and are still missing 40 response cards. Is this normal? I personally think that they get put somewhere and forgotten about. For those of you past your RSVP date, how many did you get back the first week?

SassyPants150

We never received about 12 out of the 80 we sent out and finally had to call people to start finding out if they were going to be coming.  People for our wedding were trying to hold out to the last minute to decide to come and others forgot/misplaced it.  We received several the week after they were due.  I forget that although I get wedding invitations, talk to FI and decide if we are going or not and send it right back, not everyone does that Good luck!

pirategal03

Just wait a day or two after your date and call/e-mail.  Some people think that the RSVP date is the date by which they need to have the card in the mail.

meredithl618

Oh man, I don't remember the number, but we had a ton of people who were late responding or never even bothered to rsvp.  We had about 40-50 people who still hadn't rsvpd the week before the deadline.  We ended up calling all of them right around the rsvp date and getting their response over the phone.  I had to turn in the final number for the florist the day after the RSVP date, so I didn't have time to waste waiting for the stragglers.  This worked out, although with less than a few days to the wedding I had 3 people decide they weren't coming... grrr.  We had to shuffle seating a bit, but everything worked out in the end.

My best advice is just to start calling later this week, so that you can get in touch with everyone in time.  It's not a big deal if the date hasn't passed yet, you can just say you wanted to check to make sure they got the invitation and that you're trying to get a headcount... etc.  Most people will realize they've forgotten and let you know.  

Good luck!

pirategal03

My friend called me to ask about our RSVP to her wedding a few months ago, the conversation went basically like this:

Her: Hey!
Me: Hey, how are you?
Her: I'm good.  Hey, are you and A going to be able to come to the wedding?
Me: Oh no!  Did I miss the RSVP date?!  I thought I wrote it down correctly as next week!  I'm sorry!
--awkward silence--
Her: Well, no, it's not until next week.
--more awkward silence--
Me: Well, we think we can come, but we hadn't RSVPd because we're not sure yet if we'll be able to make the trip (the wedding was 4 hours from where we live).  I'll be sure to drop the RSVP in the mail either way when we're sure. 
Her: Well, I was really hoping to have a headcount by [day a few days before the RSVP date]

...and it just went on from there.

We ended up not going.  It really made me feel uneasy that she'd set a date by which she wanted a response, then decided that she really wanted a response earlier.  Why set a date in the first place, you know? 

I guess my point is this; if it's at all possible to wait until after the RSVP date to start tracking down stragglers, then do that.  It's the most polite. 

(Meredith I see that your situation needing to give a headcount (why'd your florist need a headcount?) the next day was different)

meredithl618

Well, what happened was, we thought we'd have a good enough idea at the rsvp date to know how many tables we'd need, ie for # centerpieces(We had to place the final order, and we didn't want to over or under order flowers). But we had such a large number of people who hadn't responded that we needed to know a little better how many tables we were going to use.  

So no, we didn't call many people before the rsvp date, I just had my mom and MIL talk to close family and friends who had casually mentioned things to us, but we had never received their card. Then, the weekend after our date had past was when we did the bulk of our calling and scrounging for decisions.  

Sorry I didn't explain the situation above.  Lol, I just remember being really frazzled by the amount of people who hadn't rsvp'd.  So, I started telling my family that they'd need to help call people, but we basically waited until the date to do any of the fetching of responses.  

**edit!** Oh and ps, I just realized that your wedding isn't for a month and 3 weeks. In this case I think you have plenty of time to wait until after the date then see if you get any more responses, then start calling.  Our RSVP deadline was only 3 weeks before the wedding, only a few days before all of the final numbers for things like rentals, flowers, and food head count were due, so that's why we were quick to start the calling. 

pirategal03

Centerpieces! I didn't think of those.  I was wondering if you gave flowers to all of the guests or had them at each place setting or something.  That makes more sense.

meredithl618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_many-not-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:7625faeb-60e0-49a1-8c9c-30f88f624b21Post:a9ee692b-2cb4-4b62-b3fb-88ec379ea610">Re: How Many Do Not RSVP??</a>:
[QUOTE] I was wondering if you gave flowers to all of the guests or had them at each place setting or something.  
Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL!! Nope, I just didn't want to pay for extra centerpieces I didn't think we'd use.</div>

hlumbf2010

All of our deposits are due 1 month before the wedding. I said September 1st so we would have 2 weeks to track people down. I just wish more wouldn't wait. We did recieve 2 in the mail today!!