Crying and Stressed!

todemama4

I have just got engaged... Congrats to me?... I have to plan a beautifully wonderful wedding all while working, being a of three mom and fiance', without professional help!

My stressed are that even a recession era year prices for weddings are still sooo high! I have visited at least 100 venues that want at least $8500 for only 130 people! I need help or I need to win the lottery!

PLEASE BRIDES SEND ME IDEAS FOR AN AFFORDABLE VENUES!!!  MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS TODEMAMA4@AOL.COM

todemama4

OH YEAH I live in northern NJ! THANKS BABY CAKES!

goaliegirl

If you give a little more information maybe we can give you some help...what time of year would you like to get married, what type of venue, and approx. what you would like to spend per person.  I am assuming you are looking to have approx. 130 people.  It sounds like you have visited quite a few places.

There are many girls here who have had beautiful weddings on a budget, so it is possibly to not spend a ton of money and have a beautiful wedding.   Don't get stressed, you can definitely do it, it seems like a lot but if you do a little at a time it is much more manageable. 

NJgurl19

In  Northern Jersey Its gonna be very hard .

jungleland

good luck.  It can be really overwhelming.  

I'd recommend never publicly posting your email address by the way...

tinydancer842

just elope

mbcdefg

Have a brunch or lunch reception. Those are cheaper than dinner.

leah2b

You need to consider why you feel the need to have a big wedding.  It almost sounds as if you doon't.  If you are stressing over the $$ now, beleive me, if if you get good prices, you still will be later.  Why not consider doing a desitnation wedding with just family to an island?  Quite frankly, I am getting married in less than 5 days and while I am excited for the wedding and looking forward to it, in retrospect i would have been more content with a city hall wedding with nice dinner after or eloping.

jrgoogrl

Congrats and welcome!

What are you looking to spend per person? Are you flexible with your wedding date? Winter weddings are normally cheaper then summer weddings, as long as you're flexible. Have you thought about a morning/afternoon wedding instead of evening? I actually had a friend who got married on a Monday (in February), it was a little weird but they saved a lot and had a beautiful wedding. I've also heard of people having weddings on Thursdays too, so it could be something to look into.

I understand that planning can be very overwhelming but try and do a little at time, sometimes it's easier. Let us know how we can help!

Good luck!

[Deleted User]

Take a look at sitesandservices.com for a list of venues by county and it gives their average per person charge.
a lot of people on this board would recomend the manor or other venues in southern jersey which i didn't find useful. i went to check out some of the places and didn't find any appealing but if you dont mind the commute i would consider looking into them.
it may be difficult to find something cheaper than $8500 for 130 ppl. perhaps look into something a bit more unique like getting married in a park and get it catered?

good luck!!

mbcdefg

Also remember that January, February and March dates will probably be the lowest months of the year. And Fridays and Sundays will be cheaper than Saturday nights ... like PP said, a Saturday morning will also save you cash, and a Monday-Thursday wedding if you can manage it will save you a boatload.

Do you really have to invite 130 people? You can always have a small church/courthouse wedding with maybe 50 people or less, or a small secular wedding in a garden or your home or a park, and then go to a restaurant for lunch.

Or heck, even have a casual wedding with pizza. Or have a two-hour reception around 2 p.m. in the church basement or a VFW hall, and serve cake and a fruit platter and coffee. If the reception isn't held during dinnertime then you don't have to serve dinner.

Here's an example ... The Restaurant in Hackensack offers a brunch menu for about $40pp, before tax and gratuity: http://www.therestaurant.net/party_packages.html

DMLJ

The restaurant is really nice too MB

Try to enjoy this happy time in your life!  You have a man that loves you and 3 wondeful children!  I know weddings CAN be stressful and CAN be expensive but your wedding should make YOU happy- no one else.  So if it is really that hard for you to plan/pay for that many people (and you're not alone) think outside of the box.  My mom was married a few years ago in a courthouse.  We went out to dinner afterward at a nice place with family and a few close friends.  She was very happy and I'm sure didn't spend near 8,000. 

With 3 children, your priorities are going to be different.... some of the advice given here has been really good.  Try to get excited about planning a celebration of your marriage in a way that suits you best.

capecod1986

Boy do I know that feeling! The Forge in Woodbridge has a $52 a head thing on fridays I believe. Saw a flyer there a while back while attending a dinner there.

smw42

The forge is also very easy to negotiate with. They were willing to throw in every item we asked for when I looked there for a friend's shower.

annimh

Another option is checking around at arboretums & parks, which can be cheap/inexpensive in comparison to the average reception hall. You can get a permit to serve alcohol/have your party at Verona Park for a little over $150 and then you'd just have to worry about finding a caterer. If you're not set on a fancy sit-down dinner, I've found BBQ caterers that run about $26 or 30/pp.

You'd need to worry about renting tables, chairs, etc, or you can just do something really informal and make it more of a move around and talk to people sort of wedding.

Other alternative to a BBQ: Cocktail reception (usually shorter, if you do it in a park you can buy your own booze, make  your own hor deurves & hire a bartender & a few waitresses). This also could also call for less tables/seating, too.

todemama4

Thank you to all who posted. I loved the advise.  I am looking at Women's Club's of NJ and I am quite hopeful! I would definitely recommend those on a budget. So much nicer than VFW's or Elk's Clubs! I am waiting to visit the Women's Club of Maplewood. but the one in Rutherford OMG is nice for a small wedding! 

I can't thank you guys enough for the advise. Lots of Love!