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Thursday night wedding

My boyfriend and I are invited to a Thursday night wedding, at the Tides in the summer.

At first I thought it was kinda odd, but then I realized I had a bachelorette party weekend that started the following day, so I was then relieved it was a Thursday and not a Friday or Saturday night wedding of that weekend.

However, to me, this is no "worse" than a Sunday night wedding. In some ways, better cause Thursday nights are big "restaurant nights" anyway - or at least, it seems to me that a lot of people go out to eat on a Thursday night anyway. A wedding is just a bit more of a formal dinner, eh?  

Thoughts?  Would anyone else plan a Thursday night wedding? Anyone else having a Thursday night wedding? (or another weeknight - not of a holiday weekend - this Thursday wedding does not coincide with a holiday) No way? Depends on the discount/location/date?

(I'm new and wanted to contribute, so I figured this would let me meet you all and hear views.)
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Re: Thursday night wedding

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    dalm0mdalm0m member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    It doesn't bother me.  I'd go if it fit into the rest of my life.  If the price was right i might have thought about it. 

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    edited December 2011
    I could never, to me it would be worse, with a Sunday wedding I would normally take a day off the next day, with a Friday wedding I would take the day off or a half day (depending on the person and what time things were) with a Thursday I would feel forced to decide what I wanted to do with a day off.

    I am REALLY tired after work, so for me to go to work, then go to a wedding and then have to go to work the next day unless I took the day off would really screw me up.  Unless it was a very close friend or family member, I would probably decline.
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    uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it is awful, because everyone has to work that day, and everyone has to work the next day.  It is combining the worst of Friday night and Sunday night weddings.  I find it selfish.

    I can understand it in a situation where that's really all the bride and groom can swing, and they're keeping the wedding very, very small, but otherwise I'm sorry -- it is very rude of you to expect me to leave work early on Thursday, get home very late, and be back at work hungover and tired the next day.  I don't care if the bride and groom got a discount -- they could have cut back elsewhere, had it at a cheaper place, cut the guest list, etc.

    My in-laws were invited to a wedding a year or two ago at Oheka Castle -- which is one of the priciest venues on Long Island -- on a Wednesday night in January.  I'm sorry, you shouldn't inconvenience your guests just so you can be a pretty, pretty, fancy princess in a castle for the day, when there are so many other places you could have booked for the same price on a Friday night or Sunday or even a Saturday so as to not inconvenience every single guest.  Tacky, tacky, tacky, inconsiderate, inconsiderate, inconsiderate.

    When I go out to eat on Thursdays, I do it on my work schedule (even on a good day at a local place, that usually has to be after 7:30), and I don't have to change into a dress, drive somewhere, go to a ceremony for an hour or so first, and then stay at the restuarant for the next five hours.  I think that's a very different situation.
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    sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Unless it was my best friend or a family member, I would not go most likely.  In the summer I am much more flexible, however, it's very inconvienent for everyone that works.  I would never do it, I wouldn't even do a Sunday or Friday night because I didn't want to inconvience anyone.
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    goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I would probably be annoyed but I would go and just deal with it.   personally, I would never have considered booking a Thursday or Sunday wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    I think it is fine, as long as the couple understands 2 things, first they should expect no one to show up to the ceremony, and second they should expect everyone to leave the reception early.  Anything above that is a bonus.

    I wouldnt do it, myself.  For me it was Saturday night or choose another date
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    Laurms15Laurms15 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm invlolved with a Thursday night wedding in August. (On Long Island) I agree that its a bit of a pain I basically have to take two days off for the wedding. Thursday and probably Friday. But because of my weddding I may have to suck it up and work on Friday! Blah!
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    edited December 2011
    I went to a Thursday night wedding last summer. The couple had good reasons to do it that way - Jewish wedding so Fri/Sat was out, and Sundays were all booked. It worked out where FI and I were planning to take that Friday off anyway to go down the shore for the weekend, but otherwise I would have been pretty annoyed at having to take that day off for the wedding.  I did end up doing a half day at work on Thursday to get ready, like I also do for Friday weddings.

    That being said, the wedding was really fun.  People were dancing all night so the fact that it was a Thursday didn't seem to take away from everyone having a good time.

    It's definitely not something I would do but it's not the end of the world. Certainly it is more inconvenient than a Friday night and Sunday wedding since it pretty much forces you to take a day and a half off from work.  And personally, I'm more likely to go out to eat on a Sunday night than a Thursday so I wouldn't really consider Thursday a "restaurant night".
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    edited December 2011
    I guess my perspective on this has changed a lot since I've actually been planning one of these monstrosities...

    Basically, I think it's a pain, but I know how much I'm spending on my wedding (which is probably on the lower end of average for this board) , and I can easily see how a LOT of people would be like  "That's crazy. Not doing it." And I can respect them for that.

    So I would try to go if I could. As long as there's an open bar. THAT I'm unwavering on ;-)
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    edited December 2011
    I think it's a terrible idea. It's inconvenient to guest. I actually agree with Brad, if one has a Thursday wedding they can't expect anyone to be at the ceremony and they will be leaving early b/c they have work the next day. I am a hypocrit and would still probably go, but I wouldn't be happy about it haha
    *~allie~*

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    edited December 2011
    I am doing a Friday night wedding and my Dad even balked at that until he realized it would save us all several thousand dollars. I feel a little bad at first but it is not unheard of in my family so once my cousins encouraged me to do it I was okay. I personally would never do a Thursday night but would probably go to one, but I work from home and my fiance is writing his dissertation so I realize our situation is unique. If I had to take off two days for it I probably wouldn't do it unless it was a family member or a close friend.
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    edited December 2011
    I personally wouldn't plan it that way but if it was local I would attend someone else's wedding on a Thursday.

    My parents were invited to a weeknight wedding but the next day was a holiday, I think it was the fourth of July. They weren't off of work the day of but they were still able to attend that night.

    Also, when I was looking for November for our date, one venue told me that I should have my wedding the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I thought that would stop people from coming though.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it depends on the situation. I think LoCo's situation with the Jewish wedding is understandable, and the points about a couple who really needs to save some money is also understandable. I think it'd also be no problem if it's a summertime wedding where a lot of people are teachers or retired, for example, or if for some reason there was a Friday holiday where most people didn't have work that day.

    But UpperEast has a good point about the Wednesday wedding just to get Oheka Castle being selfish. I also think it's silly when people insist on an inconvenient day for their wedding just so it can fall on their dating anniversary. Saving money is fine, but I think that excuse flies a lot better with a small, simple wedding. Crying poverty and having a Thursday night wedding doesn't make sense if you have 200 guests and a Reem Acra gown.

    Whether or not I would go would depend on where the wedding was in relation to be, and how close to the couple I am. I'll pretty much do anything for a sibling or a best friend. Anyone else, if it's not local I'm probably not going ... I'm already thinking I'll need to take unpaid time off for my own belated honeymoon this year. I can't afford to take additional days off just to go to a wedding.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and to actually answer the question (lol), I doubt I would ever plan a Thursday wedding. FI and I felt bad enough considering Fridays and Sundays for our wedding. Of course we wanted to save money, but in the end we felt that we should aim for a Saturday night unless it was for some reason impossible.
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    edited December 2011
    For me a Thursday wedding would be impossible because I'd have to take off wednesday, thursday, and friday just to come. I'm out of state. So I would think that anyone planning a Thursday wedding would have to think of thier OOT guests. I did try to fly in the day of for a wedding once and missed my hair appointment so I couldn't get my hair done for the wedding. I won't be flying the day of anymore.

    But if your family members are close, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I mean, everyone knows the economy is terrible and so they would probably try to make it work.

    When would the bach. party and rehearsal dinner be then? Wouldn't that be difficult as well? Then again, I guess you could do the weekend prior.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think I would plan a Thursday night wedding because it is inconsiderate to my guests. Not only would they need to leave work early if they choose to come to the ceremony, but they'd probably have work the next day.  I think its wrong to assume that anyone would take off for my wedding.

    I am planning a Sunday wedding. And although it's not as convenient as a Saturday wedding, it worked best for us. But I did keep my guests in mind. I know most don't work on Sunday and I made my reception early evening so people could still get home by 11 to go to work the next day. 

    I'd go to the Thursday night wedding if it worked with my schedule. But it would be a hassle.



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    leah2bleah2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I really do no think it is that big a deal. Years ago, when weddings were not such elaborate affairs, more people would have their weddings on week nights and it was fine.   The wedding couple should realize that there will be some people that will not be able to attend and they should be completely understanding of this fact.   They should go in with the attitude that "whoever can come will come and those that can't, won't" They should also keep their guestlist to "real" friends and family.  Likewise, guests should not feel personally offended that they were invited to a weeknight wedding, nor should they feel obligated to attend if work or life gets in the way.  If you don't want to go, don't go!  A wedding is a celebration and an invitation is simply that. 
    I happen to meet up with my friends and go to dinner several nights a week and I manage to go to work the next day.  Moreover, taking off a couple hours, or even a day of work for a wedding of a friend or family member is not going to kill me.  Actually, these days I look forward to it.
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    kewltifkewltif member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Worst idea ever.  It's the worst aspects of both Friday and Sunday combined.
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the responses - it's interesting to see everyone's view on this.

    uppereast/mbcdefg - I agree - if the date is awkward just for a specific location, it's a bit much.  I understand this couple is having a fairly small event and paying for it themselves. Heck, I'm even being presumptuous that I am invited. (Well, not really - I have been dating my bf for 5 years, which is longer than the length the couple getting married has been dating - but the save the date only had his name on it. But that is a different issue...for all I know only he is invited and I don't even need to worry about it. But, I'm not sure he would go alone if I weren't invited as well. Time will tell!)

    Jamielody - It's not my wedding - I'm not sure if you thought I was asking for myself. The wedding for this couple would be Thursday night. I guess the rehearsal dinner is the previous night, but my bf is not in the wedding party so I don't really know.  

    The bachelorette party weekend that begins the following day is for a wedding where I am a bridesmaid. However, the bparty weekend is at my LBI house, so I need to be there to let everyone in the house (well, I could give them keys - but I'd go down early and set up, etc) so I'm glad the wedding is that Thursday night. If it had been Friday or Saturday, I would have already had plans.

    As a guest, this Thursday night is fine. I think I'm annoyed more by Sunday night weddings. Mentally,  to me, a Thursday night is close to the weekend and I'd only have to go to work one more time before the weekend. I'd "catch up" on any sleep/things that needed to get done during the weekend. Going into a week staying out late on a Sunday is more mentally draining cause the week hasn't started yet and I'm going into it more tired than usual.  Not sure why I feel that way or if it is justified, but it's just my take on it.  Plus, I don't work Fridays in the summer because my job has "summer hours" - but that is unusual for most guests.
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    edited December 2011
    I definitely wouldn't plan a Thursday night wedding. I agree, it's very inconvenient to your guests as they all have to work the next day. I actually just attended a Monday early afternoon wedding, which was very odd and a pain (as a guest). My FI was a groomsman so there really was no way around it, but most people that went to the wedding had to take the entire day off from work as the ceremony started at 11:30am. The bride and groom also didn't have many people at their ceremony, and also had a few empty tables at the reception.
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    kewltifkewltif member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_thursday-night-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:bebaa4c1-1cc8-41a1-be2e-cbfaeb11ec80Post:8979d8ea-1462-4cf5-aec9-3d4864c474f5">Re: Thursday night wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I My in-laws were invited to a wedding a year or two ago at Oheka Castle -- which is one of the priciest venues on Long Island -- on a Wednesday night in January.  I'm sorry, you shouldn't inconvenience your guests just so you can be a pretty, pretty, fancy princess in a castle for the day, Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    That is downright crazy! It's like they have to book a super expensive place to show off and then pick a mid week night to afford it.
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    edited December 2011
    Personally, I would never plan a Thursday night wedding.  Not only would it most likely be more inconvenient for our guests, but also for me and my FI!  

    On the flip side, though, I could never judge anyone for choosing to have their wedding on a weeknight.  People have their own reasons for doing what is right for them, whether it's budget, something special about that particular date, religious. etc.  For example, it's not uncommon to have an Orthodox Jewish wedding on a weeknight - Tuesdays are considered particularly auspicious days to get married, as is the first of each Jewish month (which could fall on a weekday).  I can't fault anyone for choosing to do something that they feel is important to them, but they should be aware that they might not have as many guests come as they would have had they had it on a weekend.  I don't think anyone has any right to criticize their decision - if you don't want to/can't go, then don't.
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    DMLJDMLJ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My BM is a BM in a wedding the Thursday night before mine!  Friday is the rehearsal for mine and sat is our "day of beauty" (hehe) and sun is the wedding.

    I had never heard of thurs weddings before, but the situation is that the bride is jewish, so fri and sat were out for her family.  I'm thanking my lucky stars that she didn't pick the same day as me!
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    edited December 2011
    I am actually considering having mine on a Thursday for 2 reasons.  The main one being that it is my (deceased) mother's b-day.  The second being that my budget is gonna be about $8000 (if I can save it that is) for around 100 people (99% family.)  I have asked some of them already and I'm going to get a general poll.  At first I thought no way, until some of my family said why not.  My older sister actually said I def. should if I want to.

    I'm still really iffy on it though so I'm going to see what happens when I visit venues and see what the rest of the family thinks.  The majority of my family has weddings on Friday anyway so if I don't do it on Thurs. then it will be Fri.

    Before this if I was invited to a weekday wedding I would think it was a bit odd.  I would go and just deal with it, but my FI would be really annoyed.
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    felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In the summer, I would go.  Not in the winter.  I hate the winter (other than Christmas) I have no use for snow, wind or 20 degree weather.  So basically in the winter I am completely useless...haha. (Sorry, very bitter about the weather, and that rant really had nothing to do with this post)  I don't think it is the worst thing in the world.  I would rather go to a well put together wedding on a weekday , that the couple can afford, then a budget wedding that they struggled to put together on a weekend.  In the end, it doesn't matter what day it is to me. Plus there are different reason for having it during the week. My aunt got married on a Monday night because her and my uncle and all of their friends and my family were all the in the restaurant business and couldn't do a weekend wedding.  It worked out great for them.  Just one example.   
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