WWYD about this?

minkaerlighed52612

A good friend of ours is engaged to be married. I'm unsure as to if they set a date and I'm worried that with us setting our date so far ahead that they'll set a date sooner.  I know that my fiance will most likely be in their wedding party as he's been friends with the groom for YEARS.  This will cost us (yes us - we discuss payments on everything) some money for the tux, gift, possible over night stay, etc. 

My fiance had said that he'll ask to see if they've set a date, if they haven't we shouldn't worry right? What if they have and it's really close to ours? What do we do?  I can't not have my fiance in his wedding if he's asked. 

Of course, my fiance is working late tonight so I won't see him, until after midnight.  Oye. Maybe I shouldn't worry about this.  Thoughts?

Laurms15

I'm not sure what the dilema is. Are you worried about paying for the tux and gift for their wedding in addition to paying for your wedding? If thats the case and you can't afford it a good friend would understand however if I were that close to someone I would figure out a way to save that extra few hundred dollars to make that work even if it meant skipping a little something when it came to my wedding.

goaliegirl

This kind of happened to us...one my husbands best friends got engaged just after we did and booked their wedding for exactly one month before ours.   We ended up talking with them since we see them all the time, and we all decided that we wouldn't exchange wedding gifts that we were happy just to be at the other's wedding.   That way the guys saved on that aspect.   It all worked out in the end and everyone was happy.

hcer0708

If they are really your good friends you would find a way to make sure he is in the wedding.

minkaerlighed52612

If my fiance is asked to be in the wedding, he will be. I won't deny him of that. Just like he won't deny me from being in my best friends wedding next summer.

What I'm worried about is that if we spend the money on a tux, overnight stay (which will most likely be required as we drink and I will NOT be driving home), and a gift that I'll have to cut something out of our wedding.  Which I won't mind as there are a few things that I think are unnecessary (ie - videographer, photobooth, grooms cake).

Maybe I'm over-reacting.  I worry too much but with the economy the way it is, every penny in just doubles as it walks out the door....

goaliegirl

IMO you are really over-reacting about this.    First you are talking about your Fi in a wedding but then you mention that you are in a wedding too next summer.....you didn't mention that at first.   If you can afford that then you can afford for your Fi to be in a wedding.  You cut back on other things to make it worth if it means that much to you.  

Butterstick

If it makes you feel any better, my good friend is getting married two weeks before us, and my FI's good friend is getting married a month after us.  My friend is literally coming back from her honeymoon and driving up to NJ for the wedding the next day.   My guess is as long as they know your date they will not choose one that would prevent one person being at the others.

minkaerlighed52612

I forgot to mention it in my original post as I've already paid for my dress (prior to engagement), have already gotten the gift(s), and it's extremely local so we'll be coming home (dry reception). 

I agree, I am overreacting. I apologize, not only to you girls, but to myself as well.

goaliegirl

no need to apologize...sometimes you just need others to tell you that you are overreacting to realize that you are.    It will all work out...like i said you may just need to cut back and save money in other areas to make it all work.

BTW---you already bought a dress and have a gift for a wedding that is next summer????   you are way ahead of things there..so you have plenty of time to save for your Fi's friends wedding!

reese511

also...why dont you share a hotel room and carpool w/ other friends to this wedding your FI is in?  thats a great way to save money.  esp if you're just going to pass out anyway.  plus...this didnt even happen yet.  wait until it happens before you get worked up.

minkaerlighed52612

)  Thanks girls.

Yes, I agree with you goalie girl. I was over-reacting and you girls made me realize it. )

Reese: yes, see, I do alot of cross-stitching as a means of stress relief.  It's better then smoking or drinking obnoxious amounts of alcohol.  So, I had picked up a nice wedding sampler set and will be finishing it by the end of this year.  My mother and I are also making a beautiful night gown that is smocked and hand embroidered so, her gifts are practically taken care of. ) 

Lolyalyssa

There will be plenty of other things before your wedding you won't want to spend money on but will have to...don't start stressing now.  Deal with them as they come up.  Otherwise you'll start to feel like its all overwhelming when it can be managaged with a good plan!

dianenjnj

oh boy...yep you are overreacting.