Rose to Step mom?

jamalina

Hi girls! My fiance & I are doing the "Rose Ceremony". We give a single red rose to our mothers during the ceremony. I also have a step mom & did not include her in this. I am now second guessing myself. I know you all might say it depends on my relationship with her & this really is a personal decision but any opinions will help. She has been in my life a long time but I really wanted the rose to make my mom & fiance's mom feel special. (I love my future mother in law)!! Stepmom lives upstate with my dad & their 2 kids. I have a good relationship with her but don't see/talk to her that often. Anyway, any thoughts on this? I don't want my step mom to feel bad...

bulldog_mama

If you don't give her one, be prepared for some hurt feelings. Would your mom be upset if you did give her one? If not, then I would go ahead and do it. Myself I feel would offended if you gave the other two mothers one and not me.....but it does depend on your relationship. Is there a reason why you didn't want to include her in the first place?

jamalina

Yea, you're right. I don't want to hurt her feelings, it's not worth it. It's really not a big deal. My reasoning is she's not like a mom to me. She's more like a big sister or a friend. I know she thinks of me as a daughter though. I could go into alot of detail LOL...but long story short: my dad left when I was younger (He's in my life now) & my mom raised 6 of us on her own. I can't stand my mom at times but I really do love & respect her. My step mother has no idea what that's like. I just wanted to honor my real mother for all she has done for me & my siblings. BUT, I will keep the peace & give her a rose! The last thing I want to do is upset my step mom. And, I am dancing with my mom & my dad so that will be very special.

jamalina

Oh & I don't think my mom would be upset if I gave my step mom a rose. I'm not sure though. But. it took many years, but they are very friendly with eachother now. Which is more of a reason I should keep the peace Huh?? LOL Thanks for your advice.

megk8oz

I'm not incredibly close with my bio-dad or step-mom (Whom he married when I was 6). But when it came time to decide on these things (We're not doing a rose ceremony, but the moms and grandmas are getting flowers of some sort), FI didn't want to leave out HIS step-mom, who he is close with. I honestly felt too guilty having every "mom" figure BUT my step-mom getting one, so I decided to include her.

SaraAlexine

We had a rose ceremony, and I presented a rose to my step mom. I am very close to my step mom, but regardless you should still include her in this ceremony. The point of a unity ceremony is to unite the families together, and she is part of your family since she is married to your dad. If you don't include her, I'd exect her to be very hurt. My step mom loved the fact that I included her in the ceremony.