Do we sound gift-grabby?

peaches85

I know this is probably a silly post, but FI and I are done with our registry for the most part (aside from any last minute adjustments and deletions) and, unfortunately, we have received a couple (as in, two) comments from relatives saying that our registry appears a bit "over the top" and that we appear to be "spoiled" because of it.  I'm a bit concerned now that perhaps we do seem a bit gift-grabby, but I've seen and heard what other girls on this board from the NNJ area have registered for and I feel like our registry is nothing unusual.

We only registered for things we know we'll use, we didn't register for any crystal or fancy china, we didn't register for top-of-the-line anything (except a Dyson vacuum cleaner) and our entire registry is at Bed Bath & Beyond.

We're inviting 175 people (all but about 10 are adults) and we registered for a total of 161 items (that number includes individual items that we ordered multiples of - so instead of counting bath towels as "1", I counted each individual towel as a separate item).

I quickly divided our items into price categories for my own reference and I'm not sure what to make of the distribution in terms of whether or not it's too top-heavy on the expensive side (keep in mind that I didn't divide them up into equal categories... you'll see what I mean below).

*All prices are rounded to the nearest dollar

$0 - $25:  79 items
$26 - $50:  49 items
$51 - $75:  6 items
$76 - $100:  14 items
$101 - $150:  7 items
$151 - $200:  3 items
$201 - $300:  1 item
$301 - $600 (the Dyson):  2 items

So what do you all think?  Do we sound gift-grabby or does our distribution look pretty standard for this area? 

Would you be offended or appalled if you saw a registry containing the price distribution that ours has?

alexirom

I wouldn't think anything of it, seems fine to me.  You can't please everyone and honestly some people think all registries are gift-grabby.  My immediate family thinks all registries are rude, my brother was disgusted when he heard that I was going to register.  My response:  FU it makes life easier for people who want to buy gifts, don't use it if you don't like it.  Don't let 2 people make you crazy, I bet the majority of your guest list has no problems with your registry.

sgdc2011

If they don't want to buy off of your registry they won't.  Simple as that.  Leave your registry the way you want it.  This is the way I thought of it.. most of these things were things I wouldn't buy myself, so if I didn't get it as a gift I just wouldn't get it.  We had a lot of things on there as well, but we were just moving into an apartment.  My mom told me I would never use most of this stuff, and the first week in the apartment I used it all, just to use it .  Don't worry about what other people say, if they don't like it, they will get something else for you. 

njpabzy

The  distribution seems fine to me and I wouldn't change it. You seem to have a nice selection of lower priced gifts for those buying individual gifts and some higher priced which are great for groups to buy together.

jrgoogrl

I don't think you sound gift-grabby at all! You registry is fine! There are going to be people that will complain about it, but no one's saying they "have to" purchase anything from it. Don't change it, I think you have a nice balance of gifts.

USER876

I'd shug it off....sounds like they are part of the clan that came to our wedding from backwoods PA and gave us 40 bucks per couple

JessicaLB2

No matter what you do, someone will complain.  If you didn't have any expensive things on there, someone would probably say, "I want to buy them a really nice gift - how come there's no higher priced, fancy stuff on here."

mchristian05

No way!!!!! Your registry looks fine!  The majority of your gifts are $50 or below.  I would not worry about it.  The registry is just a suggestion for the things you want.  People are not obligated to buy the items on your list.  So, if they think it is too much money than they can get you something else.

uppereastgirl

Absolutely not, and it was really inappropriate for them to say something to make you feel bad about it.

kwilkinson14

I think your registry has a nice assortment of items. You have lower to higher end stuff for guests to select from. I would leave it alone and forget the other comments. In the end, you will have the items that you registered for and will use.

raangoli

I think your registry is pretty evenly distributed over the price ranges. I agree with PPs that it was rude of the family member to say something to you. I wouldn't worry about it. You sound as though you've been pratical with your reigstry and that is what matters. They dont have to buy off the registry, it's just a suggestion. If they don't like it, it's not your problem.

Peacefield

It doesn't sound out of line at all, though some are put off by registries in general.  I guess I'm a little shocked that invited family and friends would actually make such a comment to you.

peaches85

Alright, thank you so much everyone!  I knew it was a stupid question, but I also knew you all would be honest and tell me straight up if we seemed greedy.  I guess I got a bit worked up over nothing.

And User - Perhaps your backwoods PA family lives in the next town over from my backwoods PA family! 

akmackay

Was it PA people? They definitely gave us a much lower gift than others as well... Anyway, maybe it looks gift grabby b/c it's all at one store, whereas others have multiple stores so the items are dispersed throughout them. But, some will always think a registry is gift grabby. Ignore them- and don't expect much from those that commented haha

felicia220

Don't feel bad the average gift on my registry was about $75, (I know its a lot)  People were hounding me to create a registry, so I did, then complained that it was too expensive.  My response "Well then you don't have to buy from it"  We already lived together and I needed big stuff, not a bunch of spoons and spatulas.  I created a registry for what I needed, not what they wanted to buy.  The END. 

EDIT:  We registered at Macy's and William Sonoma, Do you know that every single thing on our "Expensive" William Sonoma Registry was bought!  AHHH I can't stand people.  

hcer0708

I think that sounds fine. Someone will always find something to complain about. I wouldn't let it bother you.

K&J64

Sounds fine, don't worry about it. Some people are just plain cheap lol

mariaNryan

Its totally fine! I think this is around what are price ranges are too and a lot of our list for BBB is under 100

FutureMrsW9

It looks fine to me, and if you only registered at BB&B - most of your items are under $50!!  I know a lot of girls in this area, myself included, that are registered at Crate&Barrel, Bloomingdales, etc...which are MUCH more expensive stores than BB&B.  You go girl!  I think you're guests are just looking for something to complain about!  If they don't like it then they don't have to get you a gift, it's not like they're obligated.

And I totally agree with everyone who's saying it makes it easier to buy gifts.  You're buying the gift for ME, not you, so you might as well get me something that I actually want and will use!  I think it's so tacky when people stray from the registries (unless it's like lingeire from your mom or something like that).

xstarx05x

IMO the registry is just a list of things you'd like if someone wants to refer to it when getting a gift. it's not like you're saying GET ME ALL THESE THINGS!! I think you're fine

MDel83

No way!  I love having a huge selection when I shop for gifts, and your price breakdown seems very reasonable.