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Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased

Hello everyone -
Sadly, FI's father passed away a few years ago. I was wondering what our invite should say -we are rather traditional, with the ceremony takign place in my family's church.

So:
 
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith request the honor of your presence (I'm just writing this off the top of my head - I would check for proper wording upon printing) blah blah blah -

my first and middle name

As for FI's name:

Mr. John Jay Doe

or just John Jay? (He's 33, if that makes a difference)

Below his name:

Do I include "son of" information? Son of both of his parents names? Or just his mother's name?


Thank you so much - I'm just not sure what to do for wording and appreciate the help.
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

image 293 (Adults) Invited
image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
image95 No
image0 Unknown

Re: Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased

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    RMMJSRMMJS member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    I have seen invitations where it does mention the deceased parent, the wording (I can't remember exactly) is more on the lines of "son of Jane Smith and the late John Smith"  
    Good luck with this. 
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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_invitation-wording-father-of-the-groom-is-deceased?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e5376c0a-c641-4bbb-8618-8a7e40558314Post:7eda2235-b65c-4011-b3d7-6612066ff6e2">Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello everyone - Sadly, FI's father passed away a few years ago. I was wondering what our invite should say -we are rather traditional, with the ceremony takign place in my family's church. So:   Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith request the honor of your presence (I'm just writing this off the top of my head - I would check for proper wording upon printing) blah blah blah - my first and middle name As for FI's name: Mr. John Jay Doe or just John Jay? (He's 33, if that makes a difference) Below his name: Do I include "son of" information? Son of both of his parents names? Or just his mother's name? Thank you so much - I'm just not sure what to do for wording and appreciate the help.
    Posted by SewInLoveWithDMB[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It's not appropriate to put the name of a deceased person on a wedding invitation.  It would be more suitable to mention his name in the program.  If you need further invite help, post over on the Invites & Paper board.  There's a few regulars that would be able to give you great advice and help on wording if you need it.</div><div>
    </div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_invitation-wording-father-of-the-groom-is-deceased?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e5376c0a-c641-4bbb-8618-8a7e40558314Post:6e3995f9-4e49-4bb3-858a-5b7f53d9b52d">Re: Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased : It's not appropriate to put the name of a deceased person on a wedding invitation.  It would be more suitable to mention his name in the program.  If you need further invite help, post over on the Invites & Paper board.  There's a few regulars that would be able to give you great advice and help on wording if you need it.
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

    I had heard this and agree with the program mention - but I didn't know if that was for "hosting" (as in the top of the invitation/bride's parents) or for being listed as the "son of" the two people - cause he still is their son, ya know?

    Thanks for the help - any other ideas, please reply. I just want to make sure I do the correct thing without offending anyone.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
    image0 Unknown

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    HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_invitation-wording-father-of-the-groom-is-deceased?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e5376c0a-c641-4bbb-8618-8a7e40558314Post:7490409e-377a-4a57-b20b-46a37e752b38">Re: Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording - father of the groom is deceased : I had heard this and agree with the program mention - but I didn't know if that was for "hosting" (as in the top of the invitation/bride's parents) or for being listed as the "son of" the two people - cause he still is their son, ya know? Thanks for the help - any other ideas, please reply. I just want to make sure I do the correct thing without offending anyone.
    Posted by SewInLoveWithDMB[/QUOTE]

    Although etiquette wise a deceased person should not be mentioned on a invite I've seen it done many times. It's one of those victimless crimes, like labels on an envelope.  IMO if it makes you and FI happy then you should do it.
     
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    My father is also deceased.  I am planning on putting his name on the invite, partially because he left me a little money in his will to help pay for a wedding, in the event I ever got married.  I am not putting my parent's name on the top of the invite, suggesting that they are hosting the wedding (we are paying for a majority of it ourselves), but I am mentioning that I am the daughter of Mrs. Jane Doe and the late John Doe.  It only seems right to me to have his name on there.
     Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Yeah, I wasn't about to tell my husband that it wasn't appropriate to put his father on the wedding invitation.  It was very important to him and his feelings won out over strict etiquette on that one.

    Sew - here is how I worded mine.  The trick is to not make it appear that the deceased person is hosting.

    The honour of your presence is requested at the Nuptial Mass uniting

    JCG98
    daughter of mother and father (separate lines because they are divorced)

    and 

    Mr. JCG98
    Son of mother and the late father

    etc.

    If you'd like to see it laid out properly, PM me your email and I'll send you a photo of it.

    I guarantee you, you won't offend anyone.  This is not a hill to die on, so to speak.
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    My father is deceased and even though everyone says that etiquette says your not supposed to put his name on the invite I am putting him on the invite.
    No one follows the etiquette books exactly anymore so you have to do what you want and not worry about what someone says was right and wrong a 100 years ago.

    I worded my invitation

    My mom first such as Mrs. ____ _____ and the beloved ____my father's name.
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    This is perfect. Thank you so much. My fiance's father passed away years before I even met him. There was no way I was leaving him off the invite. We were all in agreement that saying "the late ____" was not what we wanted. "The beloved ___ " is absolutely perfect wording. Thank you so much for sharing.
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    ellagirlellagirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    Your welcome
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