The Jersey Gap?

goaliegirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:b9792b7c-57e4-40c1-bfe6-3e60aee94feb">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : I love that a total stranger is absolutely confident there are some closet b!tches in the company I keep. The overwhelming majority of our guests are from Catholic backgrounds (or are familiar with them), and they expect huge gaps or know how to deal with them. So I'm not worried that I'll come across as rude and inconsiderate. People who may think that (even if they keep that thought to themselves) don't run in my circles. I realize you have strong opinions on this matter, and so do I, because a lot of people don't seem to understand that long gaps aren't usually done for the hell of it. The Catholic weddings you went to must have been Friday night weddings or venues with flexible start times (like uppereast's). ETA: If the best way to avoid the Catholic gap is by having a Friday night wedding, guess what? A lot of people find Friday night weddings inconsiderate (maybe even more so than a three-hour gap). Like I said, when you're planning a wedding, you're not going to make all your guests happy . Definitely try to minimize any potential discomforts, but realize that sometimes, it's not possible to prevent them all.
Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

no offense but for somebody who doesn't care about a large gap or what others think, you sure are doing a great job trying to defend your choice to have a large gap.    You obviously have a strong opinion and good for you for that, but if you really didn't care why would you waste so much of your time trying to justify your reasons for doing it. 

For me this is pure entertainment while I am home resting today!! 

cindy9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:5b5e0dc8-407b-4dfb-9f30-d48a5fdeb928">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : So let me get this right....I am not allowed to have an opinion?   And I have a bad attitude because it isn't the same as hers?     Um yeah...public message board...lots of different opinions.  I didn't call her a closet b!tch or say she had an attitude because her opinion differs from mine.    But good try!!
Posted by goaliegirl[/QUOTE]

You are completely missing the point.

goaliegirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:763766cc-73b9-4bdd-b2c3-960e0884f3a3">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : You are completely missing the point.
Posted by cindy9178[/QUOTE]


How am I missing the point...she got all on my case because I said I don't like large gaps...which I don't.   Why do I all of sudden have a bad attitude and I am a closet b!tch because I don't like them?      That is MY opinion!!  I could care less what she does or anybody else to be quite frank.    But I am allowed to voice my opinion and because she didn't like it or disagreed she says I have a bad attitude?      Yeah...try again!

futuremrsdavies

My church did not give me an option.  ceremony at 2.  My reception hall did not give me an option, cocktail hour at 6.  I wish there wasn't quite the gap (I was hoping for 1-2 max hours not 3) but at the end of the day my friends and family are coming for me.  They are coming to see me get married.  I understand not wanting to inconvenience guests but should I have "shopped" around more or settled on a place I didn't love because they were more flexible.  I think that the people whom I'm inviting love me and want to be there for my day, and if they do not come to see the ceremony because of a gap, then they are the ones missing out on a beautiful moment.  I shouldn't have to sacrifice my day or my dream to accomodate others.  This is the time to make it about me and my fiance, no?

37 Butter Knives

Goaliegirl, I didn't call you a closet b!tch - what I said was that I thought it was inappropriate for you to assume that of my guests, because you don't know me or my guests. If you think that statement was equivalent to me calling you a b!tch, then you go believe that.

As for why I'm being so defensive? I didn't want a church wedding at all (it was FH and his family's decision - if I wanted to marry him, it had to be in a church). As a result, we ended up with a gap, and it really bothers me that some people will brand me as rude and inconsiderate over factors I had no control over. And not marrying FH wasn't an option.

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:d37e77bd-c765-4236-b5dd-ab3cef351f5c">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]My church did not give me an option.  ceremony at 2.  My reception hall did not give me an option, cocktail hour at 6.  I wish there wasn't quite the gap (I was hoping for 1-2 max hours not 3) but at the end of the day my friends and family are coming for me.  They are coming to see me get married.  I understand not wanting to inconvenience guests but should I have "shopped" around more or settled on a place I didn't love because they were more flexible.  I think that the people whom I'm inviting love me and want to be there for my day, and if they do not come to see the ceremony because of a gap, then they are the ones missing out on a beautiful moment.  I shouldn't have to sacrifice my day or my dream to accomodate others.  This is the time to make it about me and my fiance, no?
Posted by futuremrsdavies[/QUOTE]
I completely agree!!

The bad attitude comes from people saying that they refuse to attend a wedding with a large gap because it is annoying or it is an inconvenience to them.

At the end of the day, it is about you getting married, and wanting to share that special time in your life with your friends and families. If certain people are going to have negative attitudes towards your wedding because there is a 2 or 3 hour gap, maybe they shouldn't be there in the first place.

cindy9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:d37e77bd-c765-4236-b5dd-ab3cef351f5c">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]My church did not give me an option.  ceremony at 2.  My reception hall did not give me an option, cocktail hour at 6.  I wish there wasn't quite the gap (I was hoping for 1-2 max hours not 3) but at the end of the day my friends and family are coming for me.  They are coming to see me get married.  I understand not wanting to inconvenience guests but should I have "shopped" around more or settled on a place I didn't love because they were more flexible.  I think that the people whom I'm inviting love me and want to be there for my day, and if they do not come to see the ceremony because of a gap, then they are the ones missing out on a beautiful moment.  I shouldn't have to sacrifice my day or my dream to accomodate others.  This is the time to make it about me and my fiance, no?
Posted by futuremrsdavies[/QUOTE]

I completely agree!!

The bad attitude comes from people saying that they refuse to attend a wedding with a large gap because it is annoying or it is an inconvenience to them.

At the end of the day, it is about you getting married, and wanting to share that special time in your life with your friends and families. If certain people are going to have negative attitudes towards your wedding because there is a 2 or 3 hour gap, maybe they shouldn't be there in the first place.

NJgurl19

I will say that I don't like wedding with a large gap, but I will still attend. With that being said my FSIL wedding had a 3 1/2 hour gap, and since her family had no where to go, they all followed her limo to the venue. The venue did not start serving until it was time, and everyone was sitting down starving. Some even went to Mcds and brought the food back to the cocktail room!!! It was by far a disaster, and I was in disbelief to what these guest were saying and doing.

gymchick05

The toughest thing I found w/ the gap was I wanted to use my own church,which is about 40 minutes from the venue. This does fill up some of the gap time, but its a hike for the guest. However, if I did "shop around" for another church right by the reception area, the start times were the same for the mass, so in my opinion the gap was even worse because instead of filling some time w/ driving they were just sitting around longer. There really wasnt an idea w/o making it somewhat difficult for the guest in each scenario. So our church is 40min from the venue, not idea, but to me the ceremony really is the most important part of the wedding, so we really didnt consider not having it at a church.

The only time I find a gap "rude" is when u can tell the couple shopped around for some crazy cathedral, etc and got stuck w/ a ridiculous time. Like this one wedding we went to in the city at St. Pat's They had a crazy early start time Im assuming because that church gets booked. They were from MD too, just wanted a NYC wedding. So the ceremony at St Pat's finished by 12pm. I dont think the reception started until 6 or 7 and it was at a hotel only blocks away. I mean, it is NYC, so yea u can sight see, etc but when Im in a gown, there wasnt a ton I could do. We ended up falling asleep in the hotel room before the reception started haha, but we did wake up in time.

felicia220

Ahh, so mad I had to go to class yesterday and miss the end of this.  

Laurie: Closet B!tch or True to your opinion? Either way, I like your style. 

ants624

we have almost a 2 hour gap...our church is at 2(Catholic FULL mass) so by the time that and receiving line is done with...it will be close to 4. Our Cocktail Hour starts at 6. Most of my guests are from the area and my parents will host most of them at their house for coffee and cookies after(I am so Italian lol). From a personal stand point I actually like the gap btw church weddings and cocktail hour because it gives me time to finish getting ready for the reception.

cindy9178

I actually never thought of that.. for most of the weddings that I've attended where there was a long gap between the ceremony and reception.. I wore something more comfortable to the church, and then went home and changed into the dress I was wearing for the reception..obviously that's not possible for people if they live far away, but it was nice to have that gap in my situation.

felicia220

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:8b9d0ec2-c614-407f-ab47-b1baf26e2f44">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]we have almost a 2 hour gap...our church is at 2(Catholic FULL mass) so by the time that and receiving line is done with...it will be close to 4. Our Cocktail Hour starts at 6. Most of my guests are from the area and <strong>my parents will host most of them at their house for coffee and cookies after(I am so Italian lol)</strong>. From a personal stand point I actually like the gap btw church weddings and cocktail hour because it gives me time to finish getting ready for the reception.
Posted by ants624[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that is very considerate of your parents and a good way to handle a gap.  And as a fellow Italian, I would appreciate some good cookies! haha</div>

cindy9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_jersey-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f7c03081-e94d-483f-9803-c4b2bd85e745Post:0f7a0f79-b0c9-4bdf-8cf6-13ce05167580">Re: The Jersey Gap?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The Jersey Gap? : I think that is very considerate of your parents and a good way to handle a gap.  And as a fellow Italian, I would appreciate some good cookies! haha
Posted by felicia220[/QUOTE]
My parents are planning to do the same thing, except in their hotel room...but I told them not to feed the guests too much because there is going to be a ton of food at the cocktail hour!!