sort of s/o open-ended poll

pirategal03

Kind of a spin off of the Concord church question, well, not really but it got me thinking.

What do you not "get" about weddings/wedding planning? 

I'll go first.

I don't get why people want to get married in a location that has no special meaning to them and doesn't have the potential to have special meaning to them. 

I don't get why people choose a location and then plan a guest list.  It makes it seem like the background of the photos is more important than the people who could be there. 

I don't get groom's cakes at the reception.  I'm fine with them at the rehearsal, but at the reception seems redundant. 

I don't get bridal photos.  I know it's a Southern thing and that they're not done everywhere.  I know that it was really important to my Granny to have a framed bridal portrait for her wall.  I know that you're supposed to display one at the reception.  I just don't know why. 

JennieandJason8182012

ummm... I didn't realize that the photos were a southern thing. I'm from Ohio and have never been to a wedding that their weren't photos.

I don't understand these event locations who think that if you shake their hand that means it is a binding contract.  I don't work that way, I need everything in black and white!  Luckily we found an amazing reception hall in Kannapolis, NC that is going to be beautiful!!

jennieweaver1

Totally with you on the grooms cake at the reception. Completely redundant. I am all for them at the rehearsal dinner, but really shouldn't there just be the one cake at the reception? 

I don't understand in-laws who think it is THEIR wedding to plan, and that everything should be just the way they imagine it. It's not your day lady, just sit back and relax and enjoy this day, don't harp in with every idea that you need to make happen (and if it doesn't, the world will clearly just come to an end.) 

tarheelbabs

Agree with everything except the portrait thing. Frankly, I just want one. My dress came in so late we still haven't been able to schedule it. I also wish I could talk my husband into putting his tux on again & participating, but that's not likely. I don't get the need to have every friend you 've ever made don an identical dress & shoes & join you at the altar. This is probably partly due to my age, I'll concede, & the number of awful bridesmaids dresses & uncomfortable shoes I've been stuck with. So, I only had a MOH & a very excited flower girl -- who both chose their own shoes!

pirategal03

Babs - I can understand wanting that style of shot.  The ones I have we took after the wedding.  But I don't get the getting all dressed up and standing in the garden with your dress 3 months before the wedding thing.

Also, I had some friends who had slightly hurt feelings that I didn't ask them to be bridesmaids, even though I've seen them maybe once a year, if that, for the last 6 or 7 years.  People are weird.

tarheelbabs

That's a shame about your friends. Fortunately, mine were all delighted. I just included them all in the bridal lunch & rehearsal dinner. I'm looking forward to the photos. We're planning to take them at the Art Museum, so that should be cool. I got the idea from seeing someone else's e-pix taken out there.

lacey3eb

I'm with you on the bridal portraits and grooms cake.  I'm from NY and I have only seen bridal portraits done for the weddings I've attending in the South.  I don't get it either, but whatever makes you happy!  I'd rather do E-pics or wreck the dress pics.  I just had the grooms cake convo last night with future-in-laws...they said "you are supposed to have one at the reception" and I told them there are no "supposed tos" for our wedding.  No need for 2 cakes.  If a groom's cake falls in the budget we'll do it at the rehearsal dinner.  I don't get why people assume they will be invited...like people we've only recenlty met and are not close to in the least...very odd.  People are weird in general, but get extra weird when it comes to weddings!

roseygb

Girl yes! I don't understand picking a church or other location with lots of restrictions and then complaining about the restrictions or being upset after the fact that it limited what you could do or the kind of video and or photos you got. I think bridal portraits are a southern thing but I almost think they make more sense than engagement photos just in terms of having more than one day to wear your dress. Plus sometimes i think on the wedding day there's not as much time to do just bride portraits. And girls like to look at photos of themselves

NcsuPsych

I dont understand putting chair covers that cost like 5 bucks a pop or more on perfectly good chairs (I understand spending some $ on them if the chairs are butt ugly), but they're chairs. Your butt goes on them. I'd rather spend the money on food or drinks.

I also dont understand why everyone and their brother MUST give you their opinion on how your wedding day should be. I can't even remember how many emails I received from DH's side of the family telling me about etiquette and such. I was really tempted to once bring up that traditionally the grooms parents paid for flowers, the RD AND in some traditions the honeymoon. I figured it'd be better to not do that though.

I dislike how expensive cake is when it's not a super fancy cake. I get that the hours can add up with elaborate cakes. That's fine. However for a plain cake, no decorations, we were quoted around 4 or 5 bucks a slice. . .WHAT?! Also every single baker, except for the one we went with, said that we just HAD to have fondant. . . No I don't. I dont like fondant. Why would I pay an every 2 bucks a slice for something I'm going to peel off and not eat?

Lastly, I dont understand why people try to upstage another in their weddings. There are sooo many posts about this. For example, two sisters getting married in the same year, worried about one another copying the other and stealing ideas and etc. I dont get it. Have your own wedding and be unique. Plan a wedding for yourself, not to impress everyone else around you. . .

That's just me though.