North Carolina

Please help.. family issues!

I am having a lot of family issues with my wedding, which is in April. My mother hasn't shown much interest in the wedding. Didn't respond when I asked her to go pick out my dress with me, which my stepmother ended up going and paying for, never called to even congratulate us on our engagement, etc. We didn't have the best of relationship before the planning began, and my step mother was more than happy to step up and help out. Well, now she feels as if I "left her out". She is trying to start something with the rest of my family, making them think she actually offered help. How do I handle this? She is also mad because my stepdad isn't involved in the wedding.. I grew up with him around, but we never had the best relationship.

Next- My dad is telling me who I can and cannot invite. He and my step mom are paying for the reception venue and food, but my fiance and I are paying for everything else ourselves. He specifically did not want me to invite his last wife, my step mom, who I was not sure if I was going to invite anyways, so I was ok with that. Now, he doesn't want me to invite my cousin, her fiance, and my aunt. He says there is too much bad blood there (long story short, when my dad's mom died, my cousin was left with everything). My cousin and I have had our issues, but we are close now and I would want him there.  My cousin and my dad happened to run into each other (they havent spoken for over 7 years) and got to talking about my wedding. My Dad is now furious that I invited them and is threatening now not to come or pay.  I really want my dad there. What should I do?

This family drama is maiking me want to call the whole thing off and elope! It really shouldn't be this hard, right??

Thank you!

Re: Please help.. family issues!

  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You just have to figure out what's most important to you and stand up for whatever that is. If it's important to invite who you want, risk your dad not paying. If you can't afford it or prefer your dad to pay, just deal with it.

    Unfortunately weddings bring out the worst in people sometimes. 
  • edited December 2011
    that is so unfortunate and i really feel for there anyway you can sit your dad down and explain to him that you respect his feelings but that it is important for you to have these family members there and ask him if just this once he can put the bad blood aside and stick it out for you?
    if he can't put it aside, then you need to figure out what is best for you and FI....move forward and pay for it yourselves? let your dad pay and stick it out? or do a weddingmoon and elope.
    this is a hard decision...but before you make a final decision just ask yourself if you can look back on this day and be okay with your family not being there?
    i almost canceled everything a few weeks ago b/c i was sick of spending money and i really wanted a honeymoon but after taking a few days to regroup i realized my family is more important than that and i really wanted to share this day with them. a vacation/honeymoon will always be there but family wont.
    not everything is going to work out perfectly but i really hope for family sake you and your dad can work this out so that the people you care about can be there for you.
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