Don't want kids at the wedding

Daydream in LV · September 2009

How do I go about telling people that we would prefer people not bring their kids/boyfriends/girlfriends? We have a very limited invite list and want as many of OUR friends and family as possible to come. If people bring a date that they don't live with or are married to, or their kids, that racks up the total number tremendously. How do we tell people not to invite a date or bring kids??

Chaotickiss · September 2009

Besides addressing the envelope to the invited guests only, you can on your RSVP cards (even if they're NOT mailing them back to you and you're using email/phone options) state the number of people and whom exactly whom the RSVP is for like so: __2_ seats are reserved for [Mrs & Mr. Smith____ Regretfully declines____ AcceptsAlso word of mouth, get your family (mom, mom in law, sister) on board and have them prepared for questions from other family members (cousins, long distance family etc) so that there are no misunderstandings.

Chaotickiss · September 2009

On the invite itself, you can also have the line "Adult Reception to follow" usually gets teh point across about No kids. Are you local? none of my guests would have dreamt of bringing their kids to Vegas. It's not kid friendly or worth paying for airline tickets for them to walk up and down a strip in 96 degree weather. Blech!

Daydream in LV · September 2009

Thanks for the idea! I may try that. Yes, the wedding is in Las Vegas, but so far, MORE people are planning on coming since it is in Vegas.

maryhooks · September 2009

My fiancee and I are locals to Las Vegas and we too said no children at the ceremony and reception. We mainly just talked to the people we were inviting and explained that we were going for an adult evening and trying to keep things small and intimate. People seemed to understand and it was no problem at all.

matilda1215 · September 2009

I'm with you completely Daydream.....I addressed the save the dates specifically to the guest.....I addressed the outside and inner envelopes specifically to who is invited only. Word of mouth is also a very powerful tool....use it

Let's just say I've mentioned it more than once to just my family about no dates or kids....and I know it's gotten around my side of the family. As far as FI's....his sister said something one time about bringing a date and I quickly (and nicely) explained we're having a small ceremony with our close friends and family only.

karma007 · September 2009

Ha! I wasn't even going to bring my OWN teenage daughter, until her grandfather offered to chaperone!

aerinpegadrak · September 2009

Just so you know, the line "adult reception" on an invitation can be seen as rude, and given that the wedding is in Vegas, evokes rather the wrong kind of images.If your guest list is very small, I'd contact the necessary people directly and inform them that space limitations prevent you from being able to invite their kids/dates. If they press, stand firm, because once you start making exceptions it's pretty much impossible to stop.Just remember that long term boyfriends/girlfriends also fall under the "serious relationship" umbrella, even if they're not living together.

atlcatlover · September 2009

I really didn't want kids either, but in the end we had 3. Each couple called to ask me if it was ok to bring their kids. If I had said no they most likely would not have made the trip. In the end it was more important for me to have them there than to be upset about 3 children.As for the +1, I didn't do any of that. However, I made it clear that if someone became involved in a relationship and wanted to bring their SO I would be ok with it, but I was vetoing random dates.The only real way is to address the invite specifically to who you are inviting and have your family help with word of mouth.

funluckykitty · September 2009

We made it very clear on ours with a "Adults Only" tagline. Plus, I personally mentioned it to my sister, and co-workers and "pitched" it as their fun night out without the kids. Once I put it that way, they we're all fine. :-)

easton23 · September 2009

Almost everyone we did invite had kids. So we just put the parents name on the invite for our Vegas wedding hoping people understood. Us having a 2 year old who was our ring bearer we were not sure how this was going to work. But we only had one child who was my son's ( the 2 year old playmate) come. Everyone left there kids or got brought a sitter. As for dates I do not know. My DH and I where together for 13 years before getting married I think I would be upset if he is invited and I was not. But that is just me.

pippypipsta · September 2009

I think the only way to do it is to be direct or you'll end with a situation like we had. Our best man has a baby and we offered to pay for babysitting the whole day. This was all organized before we arrived in LV. Then the day before the best man called and said would it be ok if the baby comes to the ceremony?!! It transpired that he was planning on bringing his child to the reception all along. DH had "sorted" this before hand but obviously there was a miscommunication and it was really a conversation I didn't want to be having the day before the wedding. Be totally up front is my advice.

Venetian10 · September 2009

My family is very young so we have a bunch of little kids. I have 6 brothers and sisters, our kids are grown, but we all have grand kids. The night would not be complete without all of my family members. Kids and all. In fact, our grand kids are going to dance the Michael Jackson "Thriller Video." We are doing a MJ Wedding Theme. It will be 11 kids ranging in age 6-14 years old. My grand son will be MJ for the night. He is so excited. I figure the kids will be sleepy by the end of the first hour of the reception 7:00PM-8:00PM. My niece who's a college student and a few of her college girlfriends will help supervise the kids and take the kids back to the hotel in the limo and prepare them for bed.We are a very close family and do everything together. Our wedding and reception will be a family affair. All of the kids are in our wedding, too. They will dance down the aisle to MJ"Don't Stop Til You Get Enough." Nothing traditional about our wedding.

Jdelo041010 · September 2009

We are the same way, do not want children at our ceremony. We put on the bottom of our invitation "No Children". I know it is not proper "etiquette", but it's how we wanted it to avoid any sort of confrontation.

Marilynfan · September 2009

I'm lucky only one couple has small children and when they first heard about the location they were excited because it would be a short enough trip that they could leave the kids at home. I was so relieved. As for dates....hmmmm....really depends on the people I guess. I have people coming who are not going to know anyone except me and FI. If it was me I would certainly want a date there to keep me company. Plus the bigger thing to me was the fact that these people are travelling to Vegas. I wouldn't want to travel to Vegas alone to attend a wedding for 1 day. What about the rest of the time? I'd want someone to see the sights with. So we allowed everyone a +1.

thefuturemrsrumley · September 2009

We are stating "no children please" on our enclosure cards with our invites. Yes, this may not be traditional and may also be a bit rude. We feel comfortable doing this as most of the people we're inviting with kids don't plan on bringing them anyway and really wouldn't be offended by this non-traditional language. Ultimately, its your wedding, just make sure you don't offend any of your guests!