VENT! Guests....

momo0507

So my mother tells me today (wedding less than 6 wks away) that my fourth uncle invited a family friend to the wedding. What? I thought this was my wedding. What right does he have to invite people? Is this really happening? Really?M and I have been SUPER SUPER CAREFUL in planning our guest list because we can only fit 40 people. So, when we received 2 regrets, we immediately followed it the next two on our list. We are at a perfect 40 heads. Period. When we had a family of 4 reserve only for two. We were able to accomodate a cousin's sig fig that I knew nothing about till last week. Which meant we had one more opening so we filled it with a single guest. My mom says that maybe some people can sit outside of the private dining room. Is she insane?  I don't know what to do. I'm so FRUSTRATED. Seriously. I haven't even told M yet.

Chaotickiss

O_o I think 4th uncle needs to be told he invited a friend to Vegas but that friend can not attend the wedding. or maybe they can show up after the meal is served?  that'd be my only compromise.

momo0507

Yeah... I don't know. My main thing is I don't want to open it up to two rooms because it's another $3000 I need to pay. *sigh*Geeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz... I just .... ARGH!

maryhooks

I totally feel your pain.  I would tell your mother and the uncle sorry, can't afford it.  If he really wants this person to come then he can pay the fees for the hotel room and whatnot.  Not sure whomever this is is worth $3000 of his own money.

matilda1215

Here's what I've decided to do if (when) this happens after my invites go out. If rsvp's come back with people who WEREN'T invited....I'm calling the one person who was invited and explaining how it's a small wedding, and there are capacity and budget restrictions. If I get the "well they already bought hotel/plane..." I'm responding with: "Well that's fine, they can go with you, however they were not and are not iinvited to our wedding. So that day they will have to find something else to do." I don't think I'm going to be apologizing either. I've worded everything on everything exactly as it should be so if there are +1's...well I think that's rude. Good Luck! I'd call fourth cousin personally and tell him it's a no-go

tipsynikki

Had a very very similar situation occur. I don't do hard a** well, but I'm going to have to if I want to keep this MY (and FI's) wedding. Even though I've put the word out that I'm not budging on my guest count, I'm considering having some one stand as bouncer. If you ain't on the list ya can't come in. I don't know where your located, but I'm on the east coast and didn't think anyone would want to pay that much money to come to Vegas for a wedding. Boy was I wrong. It's your wedding, not their vacation. We can stand firm together.

mloeks

If it's a fourth anything...cousin, uncle, whatever...I say who cares about offending them. Course I don't my extended relatives to care too much.At this point, I know that my entire family needs a good course in etiquette. And through the knot I've learned that my family isn't the only one.I'd call, explain tactfully that while you know that he extended the invitation, you did not. That you are limited by capacity and regretfully his guest may not attend. He can invite family friend to his own wedding...if he were having one. If he decides not to attend, that's his own decision. Enjoy your day.

caz18b

Our guests are coming from Australia and yet we've still had to make it clear that whilst you can travel to vegas with whoever you like, only INVITED guests are coming to the wedding!  

momo0507

Thanks everyone! Im going to have to talk to FI about this when he gets home.My dad's side of the family has issues... Granted my future MIL can be crazy sometimes, she has been really good about the wedding. FI made it clear that since we (him and I) are solely paying for the wedding, guests are not up to them and she's been okay with it.My family, on the other hand, who I originally didn't want to invite because I'm not close to them, is now appearing out of the woodworks. Let's see how we will solve this problem....Wish me luck!

Ray_Ray

That's so rude! Why would he assume that his friend could come to your wedding? I would do as the others have said and tell them that they need to find something to occupy them on the day of your weddingGood luck!

dubprincess

Tipsy you said it right "It's your wedding, not their vacation." I need to say that to my family! I am in the same boat, random people from both sides of the family are inviting themselves! Started with a 30 person wedding...I'm now at 60. But with that, my Mom has agreed to pay for all the food I have been a harda** and said if all these extra people are coming, no kids, and then my Mom said if you tell them their kids aren't invited they wont come...hmmm...OH WELL! She didn't like that comment at all...again, oh well! I am so glad I am not the only one with these issues.