T-2 weeks, 2 days... a question and a rant

elcobb

I can't believe I'm getting married SO SOON!  How are all my other May/June brides out there? The board's been slow lately.

There's so much left to do, but thankfully, as of Tuesday I am FINALLY done with school so I can focus on wedding fun. Except I almost don't know where to start!  I have to get a rehearsal dress, gifts, jewelry for my bridesmaids, my shoes, and put together favors.  Guess I ought to get cracking instead of watching Weeds on Netflix

Which brings me to my question... what in the WORLD do I get FI for a wedding day gift?? He's actually a thoughtful gift-giver and he's already told me he got me something I'll like.  Unfortunately I don't have the budget he does and I'm not feeling very creative. Any suggestions?

Finally, a quick rant, just because I need to vent to some folks who may actually understand:

I cannot BELIEVE the sheer number of people who DID NOT get a "plus guest" that think they can just saunter on in with whomever they please.  You guys, I'm serious here--- with the exception of maybe 5 or 6 people, any one guest at my wedding is going to know probably, at a minimum, FIFTY other people there... my wedding is not an excuse to show off your random new boyfriend or girlfriend.  Ugh. I feel like I need a bouncer. 

OK, I'm done... sooooo, how are yall? 

carolinagal78

I can't wait till I have 2 weeks left. I hope these last few weeks go smooth for you.

Your rant is completely understood. This is one of my biggest fears. How have you handled it?

elcobb

To be honest, I haven't really handled it at all. 

Just lots of eye-rolling, grunting, and cursing under my breath when I opened RSVPs!

Just for background info, we didn't actually give anyone a plus one invite, however, if a couple was engaged or we knew both parties in a dating relationship, we invited them as couples.  (For example, I sent Miss sksites over here an invite addressed to her and M, because they are engaged. Even if they weren't engaged and only bf/gf, I would have invited both of them because we are friends with both of them). 

This probably sounds strange but the rationale was to be able to maximize our guest list due to the fact that I (stupidly) decided to get married at my church, which means lots of drama if people don't get invitations (because they WILL assume!) coupled with FI's off-the-charts huge family, which resulted in a guest list of over 300 even after many rounds of "cuts".  In addition, like I mentioned earlier, 99% of our guests are going to know dozens and dozens of others in attendance, so I figured sitting around feeling lonely wasn't going to be an issue for anyone.  Bah.

Several of these folks are people I had a hunch were going to bring someone anyway, and one friend of ours (guy) called me weeks and weeks ago to ask if his new gf could come because she'd be in town anyway (they're from out of state), but some are just random!! Old lady bringing her granddaughter, etc... weird stuff.

If I had to do it over again, I'd just choose to have a smaller wedding NOT at my home church, and perhaps put my foot down on FMIL and the distant relatives list. 

Oh well! 

EDIT: I realize this was probably not at all helpful to you but more of a continuation of my rant. Sorry!  Best of luck with all your plans. It goes by fast! 

carolinagal78

We have about 100 people on our guest list and we are on a tight budget. I can't handle any more people so I hope it's not a big issue for us. We are getting married about 2hrs away so maybe that will help. lol!

You know what else baffles me? The amount of people that invite themselves to a wedding. Really?! It's crazy! I've had some from work that I'm not even close to basically try to invite themselves. I just shrug it off cause like I said I'm having a destination wedding.

sksites

YAY!!! Super excited it's only a couple of weekends away! I totally feel ya on the un-invited guests...we only invited about 140 ppl (+1 guests included) b/c most everyone is family and has a spouse or is a friend with serious significant other/fiance.

As to the present for B, no clue! I've already started thinking about what I would get FI but I've come up with nothing good! Good luck with all your last minute to dos! See ya soon!

TinyTRex321

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_t-2-weeks-2-days-question-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:a46a95e3-ab44-45e8-bdbf-cf6b840a5596Post:f2e2977d-f609-4e6d-b978-09e4dd292d92">Re: T-2 weeks, 2 days... a question and a rant</a>:
[QUOTE] The amount of people that invite themselves to a wedding. Really?! It's crazy! I've had some from work that I'm not even close to basically try to invite themselves. I just shrug it off cause like I said I'm having a destination wedding.
Posted by carolinagal78[/QUOTE]

The housekeeper at my work has asked me to invite her multiple times to the wedding. It's so awkward. I just am kind like "ha ha" and try to change the subject.

newfoundglry1123

I actually was in the same predicament when we were going through our guest list. We are inviting 210 people and it was about 250 at one point. People have made comments about they are waiting to send their RSVPs so that they can find dates. We HAD to tell them that we are inviting over 200 people therefore they can't bring a date. It's just all about how you deliver it, because many people feel that they are entitled to bring someone. We decided to have like you said people who are engaged as well as people who have been dating for over a year and also people who just don't know anyone else. It is rude to invite one person and expect them to be completely lonely at a wedding, but if someone has a bunch of friends at the wedding they absolutely don't need a date. Also our wedding party can bring a date. They've done so much from us, so they can. We also are telling people that our room does not fit the capacity if everyone were to bring a date. Just a couple of tips to tell people.
You can't expect the problem to go away from cursing when you see the RSVP. It's gotta be handled and your guests need to know. I definitely understand what you are going through. But as long as you approach them in a respectful manner I think they will understand. And if they don't then it's their problem and not yours. You don't need to be worrying about stuff like that so close to your big day!

HillShmill

I can't believe how many brides have to deal with guests assuming they can bring someone! To me, it's common sense that the name/s on the invite is the person/people invited. If you don't see your fiance's name or a place to write in a plus one's name - they aren't invited! Seriously, weddings are super expensive and it makes perfect sense for a couple to keep their guest list minimized to help keep costs under control. Why don't people get this? I'm so sorry you have to act like a bouncer and try and keep unnecessary guests out of your own wedding. I'm sure in 2 weeks, once the wedding is over, all you'll remember is how wonderful and beautiful it was so try and keep that in perspective through all the guest ridiculousness.

As for a gift for my FI, I'm going to get him a front door knocker with his last name engraved on it. We bought our house 2 years ago and it came with a door knocker with the previous owner's last name. It's bugged him ever since we moved in so I think he'll appreciate the new door knocker as a way to announce our new life together. I don't know what your living situation is, but I think it's a cute idea I'd throw out there

tarheelbabs

It is surprising how many folks ask to be invited.  Awkward.  We did invite plus ones--I'll admit I was a bit sensitive on this point as a middle aged first time bride who had been invited to many weddings without a date.  When I was invited with one, I never took someone unless I was seriously dating someone, but it can be tough feeling like the constant odd one out. That's just another perspective.  But I really do understand the cost.  Fortunately, our friends all were very kind and didn't bring guest unless they were dating folks seriously.

On the gift issue, I am giving my husband a giant piece of wood for a mantle.  He was a forestry major at State, so it's of special meaning.  I had also considered a telescope, but that was cost prohibitive.  The other nice thing is we'll take a trip sometime later this year to pick out the piece of wood he wants to use.  I think the thing is not the money, it's tapping into something that's important and memorable to him.  B.