Nevada-Las Vegas
Options

the uninvited

long time no talk, ladies! Well I have a bit of an issue. Our wedding is next month. Invites went out a few weeks ago. FI's cousin asked if she can bring friends. We said we were unsure as we have to budget for everyone, and asked her how many. She said that she wanted to bring 3 girlsfriends with her.I was skeptical as I don't know these people. But after a couple declines from other people we said ok. Well we were browsing facebook and noticed in addition to her 3 girl friends, she has also took it upon herself to invite 3 more males, so now a total of 6 extra people. What do I do. I said the 3 friends were ok after I made it clear we had a budget, but now 3 more? I think its pushy but don't know how to address the situation. I feel like they're just showing up for the free booze, and I'm not made of money
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: the uninvited

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    We are only a 4 hour drive from Vegas and many of my brother's friends think they should go to Vegas for our wedding. I have made it clear to my brother that I can't control who goes to Vegas, but they aren't invited to my wedding because we don't have the space. If they want to hang out the days before or after my wedding, cool-- my actual reception--not invited!
    image
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    There were posts on her facebook about what to wear to the wedding, and joking about wedding crashers, and all this. So they do appear to also be coming to our wedding*.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    You really can't stop people from going to Las Vegas.  I have friends of friends going but they aren't attending the wedding.  Everyone I invited was with a plus one as I dont't expect people to travel alone but if you can't invite all your friends to my wedding even if they are there.  Don't feel bad saying that these people can't attend.  You should also find out if they plan to crash you maybe getting worked up for nothing. 

    Good luck and breath deep
  • Options
    sagi122sagi122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow.  Now, this is something my family would have pulled!

    Now, did she initially ask to bring these 3 additional girlfriends to the reception?  If she did, than this is just plain WRONG.  I can see wanting to bring someone as a guest to a reception, but why can't the other two girls go on their own during your reception.  Don't even get me started on the males.

    Personally, I would call her and confront her about the extra male guest.  I would ask her about what you saw on facebook, and that you would like to avoid any awkward moments at the reception in regards to uninvited guests. 
    BFP: 1/11/11, Large Cystic Hygroma & heart defect, Lost baby on 3/30/11 at 16w 4d.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    oh so that changes things.  You got to let them know.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Ya I can care less about who goes to vegas...but I am talking about attending my wedding and reception. The invite was just for her and her sis. Now it turned into her and 6 other friends.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    RachNRichRachNRich member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_uninvited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:9be681b2-e3e3-4c4f-9ff3-c26f1a37cc28Post:cb266c93-b12b-4a66-9de3-b6d38e76f70f">Re: the uninvited</a>:
    [QUOTE]You really can't stop people from going to Las Vegas.  I have friends of friends going but they aren't attending the wedding.  Everyone I invited was with a plus one as I dont't expect people to travel alone but if you can't invite all your friends to my wedding even if they are there.  Don't feel bad saying that these people can't attend.  You should also find out if they plan to crash you maybe getting worked up for nothing.  Good luck and breath deep
    Posted by melissaneg[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto everything Melissa said!! </div><div>
    </div><div>We had a friend that was invited to the wedding who took it upon himself to invite a bunch of his friends also. We made it clear that we could not add any addition people to our guest list---but, we had no control over who came to Vegas. So, the additional people ended up coming, and entertained themselves during the Vegas activities!</div><div>
    </div><div>OP---Hope you don't mind, but I deleted your duplicate posts!</div>
    image
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for deleting the dups. I think u all are missing my question. I can care less about who goes to vegas, but FIs cousin apparantly inviting 6 additional people to our wedding. How do I handle that
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    RachNRichRachNRich member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, first---how does your FI feel about this? It's his cousin, so it should be his responsibly to give her a call and let her know that while you both approve of the three additional guests that you've already approved, you are working on a limited budget and want her to know that above and beyond the guests that you've already approved, you cannot accommodate anyone else. 

    If you are close enough with her, you could call her yourself. However, I'd be cautious about jumping to conclusions---they may have just been goofing off on facebook--and joking about crashing the wedding (we had a few of those too). 

    So, make sure you and your FI are on the same page about this first. Then, whomever feels most comfortable approaching her about the subject should do so---and calmly let her know that only the 3 pre-approved guests can be accommodated. 
    image
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    sagi122sagi122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would call her and tell her that you just want to be clear that she and her 3 friends are invited, but you really cannot handle any extra guests attending your  reception, and you don't want to put them in an uncomfortable position if the males show up.
    BFP: 1/11/11, Large Cystic Hygroma & heart defect, Lost baby on 3/30/11 at 16w 4d.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I would call your cousin and confirm the three original guests that she invited.  Say something like, "Hey just wanted to make sure your three friends were still planning on coming, I need to confirm the final guest count" or something along those lines.  That gives her the opportunity to bring up the other three guests. 

    Then I would just mention what other posters have mentioned, that while it is fine that they come to Vegas, you did not budget for additional guests, so therefore the three friends will have to entertain themselves during your wedding festivities.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Ok. FI doesn't like it either. I'm gonna see if he can try to talk to her. I just really can't afford to pay for everyones booze at the reception, and these people are partiers and am afraid that's why they all wanna go.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    So why do all these people have to go to your wedding? I mean there are tons of things they could do together while the cousin is at the wedding. Just be hoest with her and say you saw things on her facebook that indicated she was planning on bringing all these other people. If she says yes, then tell her NO. Since there are so many of the cousins friends going to Vegas they can find a way to keep themselves busy. You are not responsible for entertaining all these people who you don't even know.

    Plus you FI should really be handling this situation as it is someone on his side of the family.

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I would have FI call her and let her know that it's fine that these people want to travel to Vegas, but there is no room at the reception for them. If anything she will probably say ok and skip out early on your reception to go party with her friends.
    image
    2011-2012 Races
    10/29/11 LA RockNRoll Min Half (5K) 42:58
    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
    1/7/12 WDW Half 3:13:42
    1/15/12 RnR AZ 2:55:27 (PR!!)
    1/29/12 Tinkerbell 1/2 3:22:37 (To many picture stops!lol)
    Me:32 DH:33
    IFV w/ DE Only Option (On Hold For Now)
  • Options
    keana123keana123 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The advice everyone has provided is very good.

    You are much nicer than me, I would have said no to the 3 friends to begin with. Be firm, this is  YOUR wedding and YOUR money, not a college party.
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Just a thought but you could always say they are welcome to come but they need to pay for their place at the reception since 1. they were not invited and 2. they aren't friends of either of you.
     But if you definately don't want them at the wedding then stay strong and follow what the other girls have said!

    I am in the same situation (2 friends of my cousin want to crash the wedding) and I was just clear that they would need to pay for their dinner and drinks (we are going to a buffett) and made it very clear that they should not get us a present (as this would make me feel bad!)

    Good luck! stuff like this makes wedding planning suck!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards