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Bridal Party questions

Do you think it's weird to tell my bridesmaids (five of them) to find a knee-length black dress that they like, but to say they all have to buy the same shoes? I don't want to make being in my wedding any more expensive than it has to be, but I think wearing the same shoes would tie them all together. Do you think this will look right?

Also, what kind of flowers do you get for a groomswoman? Does she get a boutonnierre (how I hate spelling that word...) like the other guys? A wrist corsage? Whatever the mothers are getting?

Any advice? Thanks!

Re: Bridal Party questions

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    bcschumanbcschuman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having all my bridesmaids (6 of them) get knee length dresses... but they are in the same color/fabric.  They can pick their own shoes and I will do the accessorizing beyond that for them!

    As for the groomswoman... I have no experience there.  I would say that a wrist corsage would like nice or maybe some fun flowers in her hair???  Be creative!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm thinking of having jewelry made for the BMs too, in the same color, but to fit their dress style!

    I should also say my BMs are fairly wide ranging across the country and in size. Also, the groomswoman is incredibly non-girly. The wedding might be the first time FI will see her in a dress.
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    direy25direy25 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Just throwing in my two cents, but I really wouldn't suggest making them all wear the same shoes.  A shoe that is comfortable on one person may be completely unbearable for someone else.  I think matching jewelry would be a much better option.  I just don't think people are going to pay that much attention to shoes.  And honestly, if they're all wearing black dresses, holding bouquets, and standing next to you at the altar, why does anything else need to be "tied together?" 

    Sorry, I don't have any suggestions for the groomswoman...

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    edited December 2011
    All my BMs have the same dress but I told them to pick shoes of their choice. I also had their necklaces and earrings custom made on etsy from the same woman who made mine...a thin silver chain with a white pearl and pearl earrings. My BMs are paying for their dresses and shoes...we paid for their jewelry as well as their flights and hotel rooms.
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    kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just told my BMs to get the dress in a specific color, and the style is entirely up to them. I think too that having at least the same color shoes are pretty. I found shoes that looked good and I had them all try them to see if they like it and if it fits well. Even though I want them to wear all the same, I wouldn't want them to be uncomfortable. Luckily they all like the shoes I had found. I paid for the shoes, because I don't want that as another expense on my girls, especially since it was my idea. I think if you're having them wear the same exact shoes then you should have them fit the shoes, see if they're comfortable and if it's a big expense on their part, then pitch in. 

    I don't really know about groomswomen, but when I saw Carrie on Sex 2 she wore a bout when we was the groomswoman. lol 
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the camp of always thinking matching shoes are unreasonable.  It's not really going to tie them together, because no one will notice, I promise you.  It will look just as coordinated if you give them some basic guidelines (i.e. black pumps, silver strappy, etc.) and then leave the rest up to them.  Shoes are the single most important element to your overall comfort, and unlike a dress, they can't be altered to fit.  I've heard of women needing SURGERY due to the mandated BM shoes.  Please just say no.  I'd probably also save your money on the jewelry, as that's another nearly invisible detail that won't be noticed by anyone and is extremely personal.  I gave my girls no instruction whatsoever on accessories (except to say that fun headgear was encouraged) and they all still looked "tied together."

    I just asked the GW what she wanted.  I'd been thinking she'd want a pin-on corsage, but when I showed her the wrist corsage I was planning for the moms, she got really excited and wanted one of those instead.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    edited December 2011
    I would probably pay for the shoes. I just think it would look cute! But the concerns are right, I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. I was looking on Zappos, so maybe I could have them sent to all the girls, they could try them, and there's free return shipping if they don't like them!

    LOL @ Carrie in SATC 2. She looked pretty cool with that bout, so maybe we'll just go with that :)

    For anyone looking for pink, blue, or purple shoes, I think these are so pretty looking!
    http://www.zappos.com/me-too-jeanette-fuchsia-satin
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    edited December 2011
    Here's the thing- I want my girls to look individual! I want to say "find a knee length black dress and some bright shoes" and have them go at it. But 4 out of 5 of them want more guidelines and want to look the same. Too funny. I guess I'll just steer them in the direction that I would go if someone told me that!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_bridal-party-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:af971898-0599-4c23-b2b3-7bd09087f66dPost:18455a2b-c172-4033-9274-82888fcffce8">Re: Bridal Party questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]All my BMs have the same dress but I told them to pick shoes of their choice. I also had their necklaces and earrings custom made on etsy from the same woman who made mine...a thin silver chain with a white pearl and pearl earrings. My BMs are paying for their dresses and shoes...<strong>we paid for their jewelry as well as their flights and hotel rooms.</strong>
    Posted by junebug61103[/QUOTE]

    PS, I just caught this. That is so generous!!
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think its weird, but I don't think you need to do this.  Check out my pics.  Girls work black dress and black shoes of their choice.  If their shoes are all black, I don't think them being different will make a difference. I bought each of them a white flower to wear in their hair as something that would be all the same. 
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