Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?

GypsySoul01

So we are really excited to get married in Las Vegas and all of our friends have been enthusiastic. The problem....our families. My sister is angry because I am "putting everyone out" by "forcing" them to travel to see us get married. FI's mom is mad because "weddings are for families" and her (very, very large) extended family won't be able to go to Vegas. My dad says it's not a "real" marraige if we don't do it in a church. I'm just so upset. I don't know what I really wanted, I think I just needed to vent so I don't cry. Thanks for listening.

vegasgroom

Don't worry about it, weddings tend to bring out the 'best' in people and you really begin to see true colors of friends and family; it's one reason you should never pick your wedding party too soon.

Your wedding is not their day, it's your day, it's certainly not a family reunion like a lot of people tend to want to turn it into.  Don't let them get you down.

klminor17

Try not to worry-- I know it is easier said than done. Your wedding is about what you want, and who ever can make it will come. I realize the concerns seem valid to other family members, but they need to cool it when it comes to hurting your feelings. Hope you get it all worked out!

specialjune

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_anyone-elses-family-difficult-about-vegas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:cd638a13-f248-49c8-a9fd-acdb5a45cf72Post:a1cfdff4-c81d-4785-8fff-4a9a6fec8baf">Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?</a>:
[QUOTE]So we are really excited to get married in Las Vegas and all of our friends have been enthusiastic. The problem....our families. My sister is angry because I am "putting everyone out" by "forcing" them to travel to see us get married. FI's mom is mad because "weddings are for families" and her (very, very large) extended family won't be able to go to Vegas. My dad says it's not a "real" marraige if we don't do it in a church. I'm just so upset. I don't know what I really wanted, I think I just needed to vent so I don't cry. Thanks for listening.
Posted by GypsySoul01[/QUOTE]
Are you kidding me!!! People have been driving us crazy.  My family has been great. No debates, no questioning our decisions. FI family complain that we are shutting them out because they cant afford it, and some just simply do not feel they should have to travel. Its so annoying. Friends are more excited. Even if for some reason they cant swing it, at least I know they tried and are supportive. As of now he has no family who he can say will definitely be there.

wallacje

We had some people that complained, but hey it's my day. If you can't come, I'm still getting married either way.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  It is your day and that's all that matters.  The people that really matter will be there and those that can't will get over it.

fattytoro

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_anyone-elses-family-difficult-about-vegas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:cd638a13-f248-49c8-a9fd-acdb5a45cf72Post:f5f35c5a-27fb-4e7b-8de5-f7c384cd2bb0">Re: Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your wedding is not their day, it's your day, it's certainly not a family reunion like a lot of people tend to want to turn it into.  Don't let them get you down.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I completely agree!  Do what you want to do.  People that want to be there will come and your sister is just worried that her friends won't come.

FI's mom wants to show off her boy to the extended family.  I can understand this but if her side of the family won't be able to come out, she will be showing off the photos just as enthusiastically and she won't have to put up with having to entertain all of them in one night.

If pops wants a Church well there are plenty in Las Vegas.  We had our ceremony in a church:

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.sherylandart.com/2012/02/16/ceremony-at-the-guardian-angel-cathedral-las-vegas-nevada/">http://www.sherylandart.com/2012/02/16/ceremony-at-the-guardian-angel-cathedral-las-vegas-nevada/</a>

We went throgh similar things and it all turned out well.

Don't cry!! It'll be fine..

lsvensson

There was some b!tching from my mother in the beginning (similar to to your dad's gripe..."Why aren't you getting married in a church?") but now it's died out, to be honest.  She's actually grown very excited about the wedding, so maybe they'll come around!

goodtobeking

Stick to your guns! Yes it's a family affair but you have to set the stage with what you and FI want! We gave our families two options we were ok with: courthouse (our original plan) or Vegas (because of family really wanting a wedding). They picked Vegas and I know it's a little offbeat for them but everyone has been very enthusiastic about it thus far!

bexyd99

We are having the same issue.  And neither of my fiance's brothers will be there, which is sad.  But neither of us are comfortable with being the center of attention, and for us, it made more sense to have a small, intimate wedding with close family and friends, than a big church wedding.  We will be having a small party back in Michigan the following summer (we live in a different state than our family).  Have you considered a party to celebrate with your family that is unable to attend?Other than that....my opinion is that it is a special day for the two of you to share.  Do what makes sense for the two of you, and eventually everyone else will come around.  In ten, fifteen years no one is going to care where you were married.  The location of a ceremony has no basis on the outcome of a successful marriage.

GypsySoul01

Thank you for the kind words everyone. I do hope that it will eventually work itself out. This is what we really want and I just want everyone to be as happy and excited as we are about our wedding. WE are very happy and I will do my best to focus on what's really important.

Aimeeeee

Hey gypsy soul, sorry to hear you've had all this. It does seem to become an ' our' as in the whole family wedding. But if you had it local there probably still would have been issues such as so and so should be invited or you should have it in this and that venue. Isvensons right in that people tend to come round to the idea once they know you' re set on it. Some of our family were unsure about it till we showed them a video of what the ceremony would be like x

Crazybeautiful11

So sorry you are going through this!  Like others have said, it is YOUR day.  I keep reminding myself of this, and it helps a bit.

My FI's family isn't supportive at all, they bowed out when we were planning a wedding at home, so we decided to go to Vegas which is what we wanted originally.  Now they are using Vegas as their excuse not to come, even though they weren't anyway.  I've given up on trying to please people!

It's your wedding, so do what you and FI want to do.  Those who matter most will find a way to be there to share it with you.. and like VegasGroom said, you will start seeing everyones true colors... Enjoy planning your special day   It will all come together beautifully!

klsatlin

Yeah, it seems to be a common thing for families to give you some kind of grief about the wedding.  My FMIL is the oldest of six, and in the three years that FI and I have been together, I've only met two of her sisters, and we invited them.  But FMIL gave us endless grief about how it's not fair to not invite her other sisters (never mind the fact that she never offered up a single penny for the event).  Thankfully FI and I are on the same page, and we just kept telling her no, this is our wedding, not FMIL's family reunion funded by my family.  Once we finally told her that if she has a problem with that, we won't invite any of her sisters, she shut up pretty quick.  Families just seem to forget that this day isn't about them, but just stay strong and do what you want to do and what makes you happy.  On that day it's not going to matter if it's in a church or in Vegas or on the moon, it's just going to be about the two of you and everyone else comes in a distant second.

ambrose132

Don't feel bad- I pissed off more family with my wedding then u can comprehend. By having it in a different country all the cousins with criminal records can't come, any family that I haven't seen in 2 years didnt get asked, and the ones I have seen.but did not want to come couldn't afford it. It's all the master plan. If they are stressing u out, just ignore them, or just dont invite them. If they want to pay, then they can make decisions. Until then it's your dime, and the less douchbaggery that attends means more $$$ to treat those that actually care. Once I figured this out, my plannin has been pretty stress free.Good luck, and don't stress.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_anyone-elses-family-difficult-about-vegas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:cd638a13-f248-49c8-a9fd-acdb5a45cf72Post:a72e48b0-50bc-4fbf-9692-95fc8af3d5c6">Re: Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?</a>:
[QUOTE]On that day it's not going to matter if it's in a church or in Vegas or on the moon,
Posted by klsatlin[/QUOTE]

I bet Cashman photography already has an exclusive contract for moon weddings.

klsatlin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_anyone-elses-family-difficult-about-vegas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:cd638a13-f248-49c8-a9fd-acdb5a45cf72Post:d6bc18ba-2a7e-4150-86ce-da8f57ef8eb5">Re: Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas? : I bet Cashman photography already has an exclusive contract for moon weddings.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

And if you think their USD rates are expensive, wait until you see their lunar rates!

GypsySoul01

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_anyone-elses-family-difficult-about-vegas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:cd638a13-f248-49c8-a9fd-acdb5a45cf72Post:39196338-636a-415e-adad-b62637a2e1c0">Re: Anyone else's family difficult about Vegas?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't feel bad- I pissed off more family with my wedding then u can comprehend. By having it in a different country all the cousins with criminal records can't come, any family that I haven't seen in 2 years didnt get asked, and the ones I have seen.but did not want to come couldn't afford it. It's all the master plan. :) If they are stressing u out, just ignore them, or just dont invite them. If they want to pay, then they can make decisions. <strong>Until then it's your dime, and the less douchbaggery that attends means more $$$ to treat those that actually care.</strong> Once I figured this out, my plannin has been pretty stress free.Good luck, and don't stress.
Posted by ambrose132[/QUOTE]

THIS cracked me up...and THANK YOU. As an update: Tonight my parents (who are divorced and haven't presented a united front on anything in 25 years) told us that if we would skip this "whole crazy Vegas idea" that they would give us some money so that we could have "real" wedding. Uh...we aren't having a Vegas wedding to try to get money out of you. We aren't getting married at the drive-thru chapel (although that is fine too for those who do) and no, mother...I am NOT pregnant so we don't need to get married "cheap and in a hurry." We WANT to have a wedding in Vegas. It will be FUN! Good grief.

We are supposed to take a scouting trip in May. I'm thinking it may become the wedding trip.

mousey99

That's crazy to me that they think they can talk to you that way! I agree with what everyone is saying about it being your day, but it's also your marriage! in 5, 10, 50 years NO ONE will care about that day as much as you two, so it should be exactly what YOU two want! I'm sorry they're not taking your decisions more seriously, it's awful when family talks down to us because we're not doing things the way they think it should be. Keep your head up, this may be the first of many times in your marriage it might be you and your husband against the rest, and hopefully you can swip threw the bs to get what makes you really happy!

margofritz

I came to the desicion to do Vegas after lots of bitching about me from other people and you know what? All the grumpy people can come to the party after we come home after ive said i do . They cant travel to vegas to ruin my day , my moment. Your grumpy folks can be left behind too.. so much easier hope you have a fantastic wedding