All the + 1's

KMJ2010

How do you handle all the + 1's?  

I was very specific when addressing the invitations.  The chapel will hold up to 60 people and I know we won't go over that.  I worry about the reception b/c it is $65 pp and we are 2-3k over budget as is.  

 

I guess deep down I would love for my friends to go and would love to have all their plus ones join.  I am so worried and nervous to say yes until I get all the RSVPs back and I don't like saying no.  

ebonyivory10

I think people are going to want to travel and attend with a plus one, so you may have to be ready for that.  If you absolutely cannot accommodate them, I would let them know by giving them a call.  Something similar to what you said .. you can't stop them from coming to Vegas, but your reception space is limited. Some people limit plus ones to serious relationships only, spouses, fiances, etc.

vegasgroom

I'd handle it by phone, call and tell them the reception space was carefully planned and you only have the room for people who's name appeared on the invites; I think most people will understand planning a destination wedding and reception can be quite expensive and you can't accommadate girlfriends and boyfriends you didn't even know about.

dvohnout

I personally tried to be relax about the whole +1 thing bc when I was single I wouldn't want to travel alone. I think if ppl have to travel to your wedding, then you need to be a little more accomodating.

How close to 60 ppl are you? I would wait it out and pick  your battles carefully.

In the end there were one or two guests that brought guests that I had never met before, but if it meant my family member would go, then I let it go.

amandajean36

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_1s?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:dcaf612f-69e6-4233-8db7-bc7ac72b2ee2Post:e1731f94-c1f0-4e05-a959-278ec7c611c7">Re: All the + 1's</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally tried to be relax about the whole +1 thing bc when I was single I wouldn't want to travel alone.<strong> I think if ppl have to travel to your wedding, then you need to be a little more accomodating</strong>. How close to 60 ppl are you? I would wait it out and pick  your battles carefully. In the end there were one or two guests that brought guests that I had never met before, but if it meant my family member would go, then I let it go.
Posted by dvohnout[/QUOTE]
This.

I think its completely unrealistic to expect people to travel across the country by themselves.  I wouldn't do it.  We factored in giving all single people a plus one when we did our initial guest count. 

And, not to be a further downer, but I think its even more rude to say "well, I can't control if they come to Vegas but they're not coming to my wedding".  I can see that straining a friendship or two. 

Olivea12

Sorry, but I agree with my girl D and Amandajean.  I would try and find some room in your budget to allow for the plus 1s. Your friends and family could be spending upwards of $300 to travel to your wedding. You owe it to them to spend the additional $65 to allow them to bring a guest.

For what it's worth, I kept my guest list limited because I allotted everyone (even my widowed grandma) a plus 1.  About 10 or so people ended up not being able to even come, so you might still be able to come in under budget even with the additional guests.

stinkerbell6879

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto! I know it's hard but people will not want to travel alone. I made sure to take that into account and if everyone had shown it would have been harder on me but I had no's that ended up freeing up room.

aerinpegadrak

I think that people definitely don't want to travel alone, but if it's looking like you might be over capacity, I'm sure you could explain that to people and these uninvited +1s can entertain themselves for a little while.  Our groomswoman brought two people with her, and they were planning on doing their own thing while she did wedding stuff, but we had room for them.

pebbs_17

I really had a hard time deciding on the +1's.  In the end, I'm allowing our single guests to have a +1.  I've been invited to OOT weddings accross the country that didn't allow me the luxury of a +1 so I didn't attend. 

fizzycolors

I kind of disagree with a few posters above.  I've been to a Vegas wedding where my longtime SO was invited but I wasn't due to space constraints and I had no problems with it.  I went along for the trip and didn't mind that I wasn't invited to the wedding functions because I understood that I did not know the couple and there were limitations, and this was way before I got engaged or even started thinking about it.  No, people don't want to travel alone, but...  It's Vegas.  People can find things to do.  Part of the reason FI and  decided on an intimate destination wedding was because we didn't really care for having people at our wedding that we do not know.

That said, all spouses and long-term SOs of someone I invited are invited.  I'm just not crazy about the requirements of an invite to the a friend's girlfriend/boyfriend  of two weeks.

amandajean36

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_1s?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:dcaf612f-69e6-4233-8db7-bc7ac72b2ee2Post:456aa5d9-69d9-4cdb-a819-c699ccd6b8e6">Re: All the + 1's</a>:
[QUOTE]I kind of disagree with a few posters above.  I've been to a Vegas wedding where my longtime SO was invited but I wasn't due to space constraints and I had no problems with it.  I went along for the trip and didn't mind that I wasn't invited to the wedding functions because I understood that I did not know the couple and there were limitations, and this was way before I got engaged or even started thinking about it.  No, people don't want to travel alone, but...  It's Vegas.  People can find things to do.  Part of the reason FI and  decided on an intimate destination wedding was because we didn't really care for having people at our wedding that we do not know. That said, all spouses and long-term SOs of someone I invited are invited.  I'm just not crazy about the requirements of an invite to the a friend's girlfriend/boyfriend  of two weeks.
Posted by fizzycolors[/QUOTE]
I can get behind this if the trip isn't too far (ie. Arizona to Vegas or California to Vegas).  But OP is from FL, so I assume guests will be coming from FL too.  That's a big vacation to go on by yourself.

In our case, 99% of our guests are coming from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Illinois.  I would feel like a jerk asking friends to travel that far by themselves (or the suggestion above of 'come to Vegas with someone, but I'm not paying for them have a piece of chicken with you Saturday night').  It just doesn't seem 'nice' to me.  Just my opinion.

stinkerbell6879

Fizzy...I do get what you are saying. But with a long distance trip I don't care to travel alone, and I would skip the wedding (unless it was immediate family).

PunkRockPrincess13

Phew...this is a tough one...

Our guest list is super short.... I have one single friend coming and I told her to bring someone. Best man is single but not bringing anyone... then its just my mom who is single so I said bring a friend or whoever...and his father is single so he will bring a friend or a date... but *shrug* ...our list is just so short, we are planning for the plus ones....

I personally hate to travel alone...even on my business trips I hate it...I do it but I hate it...I would feel weird unless I knew the whole family, as a friend going to a wedding alone.

Its such a tough spot to be in... I wish you much luck in sorting all this out!

dvohnout

Ok I honestly didn't plan a +1 for EACH single or unmarried person. I just looked at it logically. I have friends who are single, but were going to stay in rooms with one another and didn't want to bring a guest, so I didn't plan a guest, and they didn't need one.

Other guests I thought may bring a guest, I just included them to be sure.

Long story short you don't have to assume a +1 for all of your single/unmarried friends, bc some really won't bring one, some ppl won't come at all, so it may not be such a close numbers game after all

KMJ2010

I have to agree with some of the post.  We are trying to make it work with the budget.  Just waiting on the RSVPs to roll in.   I guess I should of said a lot of the guest are old college friends and some of the couples are getting rooms together with or without their +1's.  All guest with or without the +1's are friends with other invited guest.  No one will be alone.  Most will even be on the same flight.  They are coming from FL, GA, AZ, IL. 

thefuturemrsrumley

I probably wouldn't want to travel alone unless I knew a lot of people who were attending the wedding.  We invited all singles with a plus one. 

wenawinter

Have to agree with everyone else. I invited all singles with a +1. I have even told some of them that if they were coming and don't have a SO, to bring a girlfriend/brother, sister, etc. I would hate to be invited to a destination wedding alone, I would not go.
I know how it feels to be single, which can suck enough, but to not be allowed to bring someone across the country just doesn't seem nice to me.

Marilynfan

Agreed.  We allowed for all singles to bring a +1. I knew there was going to be people that I was meeting for the first time at my wedding and I was okay with that.  It all turned out great.   I would not want to go to a destination wedding alone.