Worried about the bachelor party!!!!

JBN10022010

I am so frustrated with my fiance's friends!  They waited until the last minute to "plan" the bachelor party and it is going to be in Vegas, the night before our wedding.  I am so freaked out about it because they want us to be "traditional" and have him spend the night with them and I will have the suite with one of the wives.  I wouldn't worry so much but A) it is Vegas we are getting married at NOON! C) some of his friends are great and some of them are the most irresponsible people I know.  My fiance has one of the biggest hearts and hates to dissappoint anyone so I don't know how "tough" he will be with them about not drinking too much.  I just don't want him hungover or even worse, still drunk for our wedding!  I had mine 2 months ago, and I will admit and I was not feeling too well the next day - the exact reason I am so worried now.  We getting married and noon and then are busy until at least 9 pm (I am sure our friends won't be gone by then either) so there is no time for any recovering.  Plus, his friends keep referring to the movie The Hangover, which isn't helping ease my mind.

Did anyone else have bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before the wedding?  Please tell me everything went well! 

tlbattaglia

I have the exact same fears for my FI.  His friends are NOT responsible.  I already told them and him that it will NOT be happening in Vegas before the wedding.  Is there any chance they can do it at another time?  I hope it works out for you.  I just don't trust my man's friends...at all.

Kmills811

I am not in this situation but I understand how you feel. I made my FI promise he will not be hungover for the wedding - that would be the worst because he is so lazy and smells of alcohol when he is!

dvohnout

I put my foot down on this one. This may make me a bad wifey, but I said absolutely not the night before the wedding. I've gone to weddings w/ hungover or drunk grooms & I think it is so tacky. Plus both of our families were in town, so it made more sense to hang out w/ them then to have bachelorette/bachelor parties. Luckily my H agreed, and it wasn't that big of an issue. He drank a little and we both stayed up til about midnight. Our wedding wasn't until 7pm the next day, and I still was tired!

JBN10022010

There is no time for his bachelor party now - we get married this Saturday.  3 weeks ago his friends told me they were going to have it on the 24th, well, that didn't happen because they all think a vegas party would be much better.  I am just so mad at them!  FI has promised me he will be good, and I hate to sound like a bad future wifey, but if he is any sort of hungover for our wedding, I am going to be absolutely livid with him and he will be making it up to me for quite some time.  

I am so worried about this my stomach is hurting!  Why can men be so difficult sometimes! 

pizzanfries4me

I hate to tell you this - but we had our parties in Vegas (on freemont st) the night before the wedding. If I could do it over I would. My hubby was great, didn't drink too much, didn'tget outta hand, anything. I on the other hand, I am not a drinker and that night I had one to many shots... UGH!  Our wedding was at 2pm and thank gosh I didn't need recovery time, because if I did, I would have missed the wedding I'm sure. Both the people in charge of the b parties kept referring to the Hangover for us too (which was INCREDIBLY annoying) I would see if the party can be changed to a night earlier, and if it can't be hope for the best. I'm sure your to-be hubby has a good head on his shoulders and knows what his limits are. But I would still talk to him and tell him all of your fears - because they are very valid!
I'm wishing the best for you.

naima143

This is also my fear. I told my fiance that he can not have his bachelor the night before and that if he even appears to be drunk at the alter I will not marry him. All his friends are wild and crazy and I can just see him getting totally wasted. He has told me that he isn't going out the night before so we will see what happens. I have 8 mos to beat it into him.

shaq123

We are having are bachelor& bachelorette party the day before the wedding, I am sure my FI will not be to hungover for our 6pm wedding. Thier should be enough time to recovery  . but if he is hungover I would not mind, it his last day to be an unmarried man my Fi never goes out, I hope he has a fun night   . 

Gribbles

Our hen/stag nights (spot the english couple!) are also the night before the wedding and there have been numerous references to The Hangover as well.

Our wedding is 6pm, I am hoping that this will give FI some recovery time. His frinds are fairly responsible, but they have gone OTT with previous stag nights (costumes, etc)... but I trust him not to get too battered.

Meanwhile, he can suffer. I am going to have a massage at the Encore spa the morning after!

aerinpegadrak

I would hope that he would have the restraint to understand that he's getting married the next day and needs to be awake and alert by a certain, fairly early hour.  Even if the guys are putting pressure on him, he's an adult in charge of his own actions, and no one can make him do something that he doesn't want to do.

I would just talk to him and tell him that you want him to have fun, but you're concerned that he'll be in no shape to get through the wedding the next day.  As long as he paces himself, drinks plenty of water, and avoids doing shots, he should be fine, even if he does end up consuming quite a bit.  I hang out in bars with my friends quite frequently, but I've never been hungover because I know how to drink.

I would also make sure someone responsible is able to stop by his hotel room at a reasonable hour and get him back on his feet if he is hungover, so they can pump him full of water (not coffee) and maybe a couple of Ibuprofin.  If he doesn't need the help, at the very least they can serve as a backup alarm to make sure he's up in time.

Here would be a good website for him to check out:  http://hercampus.com/health/ultimate-hangover-guide-how-avoid-hangover-how-cure-hangover

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_worried-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:dd301f51-f45c-4fcf-85fb-d7ff139fc529Post:2e986c46-f30c-404e-a379-ea3f51b5c910">Re: Worried about the bachelor party!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no time for his bachelor party now - we get married this Saturday.  3 weeks ago his friends told me they were going to have it on the 24th, well, that didn't happen because they all think a vegas party would be much better.  I am just so mad at them!  FI has promised me he will be good, and I hate to sound like a bad future wifey, but if he is any sort of hungover for our wedding, I am going to be absolutely livid with him and he will be making it up to me for quite some time.   I am so worried about this my stomach is hurting!  Why can men be so difficult sometimes! 
Posted by JBN10022010[/QUOTE]

I think your only option at this point is to let it go and hope for the best.  He knows your stance on it now and other than making for an uncomfortable situation between him, his friends and you by making an issue out of it (they will find out one way or another if he calls it off because you made him), there's not a whole lot you can do.  I would not be worried too much about him, its typically the groomsmen you have to worry about getting too drunk because your wedding is not as important to them as it is to you.  My biz partner's husband had his party the night before the wedding, he was fine and responsible as she expected, however his best man and one of the other groomsmen both barely made the 5 PM wedding because they were sick all morning.

So yes, your concerns are valid, but unless he calls it off, there's not a whole lot you can do about it other than hope for the best.  A hungover groomsmen is not going to ruin the day though.

red1115

Well you could ask them to move it to Thursday, which would give the guys time to recover on Friday - if that's possible which your travel schedule.  Otherwise, just emphasize that you expect them all to behave like adults and be sober for the wedding.  (I find raising the bar on expected behavior does wonders for some people!)

In our case, I've already informed the bachelor party guests & best man that I will not be taking calls from the bail bondsman and that I have good friends at the LVPD, so its in their interest to not be "that guy!"

Good Luck!

junebug61103

FI and I are having ours the Thursday before our wedding. The girls will be doing our own thing(American Storm at PH actually), the boys will be somewhere I think I'd ratyher not know about, and then we are meeting up to end the night together. The night before we are doing a meet and greet and then maybe doing something together. We are sleeping in the same room the night before and then Im kicking him out in the morning before we start getting ready. We have lived together for the past 3 years and I can't sleep without him in bed. I could only imagine how freaked I'd be if he wasn't in bed with me the night before our wedding.He has his time with the guys...but we are ending every night together. Let him have his guy time and set up a meeting place at a certain night to have a few drinks together and end the night. HTH! 

pebbs_17

My FI's groomsmen live out of town and won't be seeing eachother until Vegas.  I'm sure that they will go out and have a few drinks, and I'm fine with that.  I've suggested that we get together with the wedding party in our suite, he was fine with that.  Either way, I trust him to be responsible. 

drkarie

My FI and I had planned to have our bachelor/bachelorette parties the day before our Saturday wedding, and I wasn't worried enough apparently.  I was told by my FI's bestman's mother that it probably wasn't the best idea given that she's watched these boys grow up and didn't think any of the groomsman would make it to the wedding the next day!  Yikes!  So needless to say, we changed our plans and are doing the parties two days before.  That way everyone can still have fun and get wild and crazy, but actually make it to the 5pm ceremony on Saturday. 
I feel your pain, because there is nothing you can do about it now, but trust in your FH.  You've shared your worries, now there is nothing left to do but hope for the best (and maybe prepare for the worst?)

JBN10022010

Thanks everyone for the input!  We had a long discussion last night, he understands my concerns and shared a lot of the same concerns as me.  I trust him to not do anything I wouldn't like and trust that he will drink responsibly.  My mind is a bit eased now!

I am only concerned about a couple of his friends but there isn't anything I can do about.  I can't control what is going to happen so I am not going to worry about it anymore! 

I did like the comment about telling the FI and groomsmen that they would not be bailed out if they were "that guy".  I might have to use that! 

[Deleted User]

I was worried about that happening too cause how much would that suck to have a hungover groom?? Ugh.
We have already done our Bachelor/Bachelorette parties, like back in August lol I reeeeaaaally wanted to avoid that. But hopefully your FI realizes how not fun it will be to get up nice 'n' early and be nursing a nasty hangover headache! If anything, give the most responsible of his friends several bottles of water and get him to drink those before he sleeps! For my Bachelorette party, we did that and I also took some Tylenol (not always recommended though, it can cause gastrointestinal bleeding in some to take it with alcohol) PLUS we ate at Denny's to absorb the alcohol so not a single person was hungover...maybe just slightly tired

cmutone

BOOO for your fiance's friends!  How could they put you two in that position.  From MANY years ago, & a friend's awful situation of finding out her fiance got so drunk he did/allowed some very naughty behavior at/after a stip club, I learned to give yourself some in between time after 'parties' to see where the chips lie ...  Not that you're not going to not love them anymore or call it off.  But who wants to be kissing a mouth that's been where??? 12 hrs before???  How embarssing!!  Nothing says I'm ready to be committed to the love of my life like paying naked chicks to grind on you, huh??  Yes, Vegas parties ARE much more fun (totally understand their point of view) but a just a few hrs before a ceremony & ALL the pre-work that occurs the hours before a wedding are stressful & NOT easy for hungover or tired people.  I think you should get your fiance to read the responses here, to your post & let him see how unfair & impractical he's letting his friends be - pushing this.  They had PLENTY of time/opportunity to do something/anything.  The wedding weekend is about JOINING your families & friend circles not seperating them into off color behavior.  If they do go out , then HE should INSIST on a curfew of 1-2 and since they FAILED to take care of this earlier they should understand giving up the 'strip club' option would be the 'right' thing to do hours before you stand before god & everyone and profess your committment to sacrafice & responsibility!  OR no more than 2 hrs at a strip club ... how much drinking & the trouble it leads to could occur??   I am not a fun hater & not fearful of my guy's strip club bach party, BUT there is a time & place.  Sorry!  Plus, who wants a pictures of a groom with red baggy dark circle eyes and/or grumpy attitude.  You're fiance should NOT make you the 'bad' guy HE should tell his friends it's his decision to NOT go all out!  Otherwise he is setting up a lifetime of indifference between you & his friends.  Not cool!