Bridesmaids who might not be able to make it

Roy5361

Hey ladies,

First post since I got engaged!! I have always dreamed of having a Vegas wedding. it's my favorite place in the world. i have a few venues in mind (Valley of the Falls at Mandalay Bay, North Deck at Trump and Juno Garden at Caesar's Palace).... still kind of confused on reception and what I should do with that. i am working with a tight budget and dont want to spend any more than 10,500 on entire wedding expenses. Anyway... those are some of my concerns but I think my biggest dilemma is this that some of my bridesmaid's might not be able to make it. 

Bridesmaid 1: Her and her husband want to try and start having a family and she doesn't seem too stoked about the Vegas idea. When I called to first talk to her about the wedding she said "and you know we will try to make it but (baby makin' stuff).

Bridesmaid 2: She said that she would want to come but they are having baby 2 who is due in a month and she said that money could be an issue... The wedding wouldn't be until 5/2013 though??

Are any of you having the same dilemmas with your decision to get married in Vegas or am I alone... and what would you do if you were in my situation.

Thanks!!

 

bemo12

Well I think these are the risks when you choose to have a destination wedding and no one should really be expected to come. It stinks, but that's just the way it works.

I know you are disappointed, but don't hold it against them. They might not like Vegas as much as you do or they may not have the finances.

VegasCalling

I am not having any. But then again, I never wanted any and honestly don't understand why anyone would. 

The fiance isn't having groomsmen either. All of that senseless tradition is one of the reasons we're going to Vegas. 

specialjune

 I know we all support our friends milestones and when it is our turn, we want the same thing, or at least want them to try. Ita diaapointing but try not to hold it against them although I know it will be difficult. Do you have to have bridemaids? If not then perhaps consider just having you and your fiance up there.I will just have the two of us and my nephew up there as a ring bearer. No bridal part other than that. Im inviting my closer friends but am some what hoping they do not come. I want it to be a small group.

AJF021410

Not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen is the best choice I've ever made.....

nycheryl

Three thoughts:

1) It's over a year away and you've already picked your wedding party? 

2) If you insist these people will be in your BP, you have to accept that some may not be able to make it for various reasons (finances, work, family obligations).  The same goes for every. single. one. of. your. guests.

3) $10,500 is a tight budget?!  You should consider yourself extremely lucky to be able to spend that much money on a party.  (If you think it's too tight a budget, you may want to consider getting married in a chapel instead of one of the outdoor venues you mentioned.)


Oh, yes, and we decided against a wedding party (except one person on each side).  Best idea ever.

Congrats on your engagement!

lsvensson

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_bridesmaids-might-not-able?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:e91132e9-6893-4a0b-821f-4374d4565424Post:b8e435c2-d97f-4ee2-b0c6-3c61aac3c6bc">Re: Bridesmaids who might not be able to make it</a>:
[QUOTE]Three thoughts:<strong> 1) It's over a year away and you've already picked your wedding party? </strong> 2) If you insist these people will be in your BP, you have to accept that some may not be able to make it for various reasons (finances, work, family obligations).  The same goes for every. single. one. of. your. guests. 3) $10,500 is a tight budget?!  You should consider yourself extremely lucky to be able to spend that much money on a party.  (If you think it's too tight a budget, you may want to consider getting married in a chapel instead of one of the outdoor venues you mentioned.) Oh, yes, and we decided against a wedding party (except one person on each side).  Best idea ever. Congrats on your engagement!
Posted by nycheryl[/QUOTE]

<div>This!  </div>

wiwicaty

Waaay too early to be involving any bridesmaids. We also didn't have a BP, it doesn't exist where we are from and from what I've gathered from these boards, it can get expensive and cause unnecessary drama. I don't mean to discourage you! Just, since it's so early, let it cool and enjoy your engagement wih your FI. Oh, and welcome to the board ETA. We had two witnesses (my BFF, his BFF), which was just perfect.

csarah718

I am not having a bridal party, the less people I have to deal with the better. You have plenty of time to figure it out.

vegasgroom

Weddings are a double edged sword; they have a magical way of revealing who your true friends are...

Ditto on the not picking wedding party members so early but sounds like it's too late for that.

mizutamababy

Agreed with PP and don't understand this post, sorry!  Even if you picked your bridesmaids already if they're saying they can't fulfill the duties of bridesmaids that means they need to back out and you pick new (preferably waiting closer to the wedding but then you might have to deal with bridesmaid b-listing drama) ones or just leave things as they are.

Congrats on the engagement and happy planning!  As long as you keep the package simple and your guest list isn't huge I don't see why you two can't get married in either place on that budget.

wishingstar4jm

Wow. Hope you get is all resolved. It sucks not having the people that you want by your side but a) they might come around but b) everything happens for a reason. The people that are supposed to be there for you will. Take some time to regroup. It'll come together. You have time.

Roy5361

I really appreciate everyone's feedback and advice! (For the most part)...

A few things:

1. Based on what most of you said it sounds like the majority of you chose the route of no wedding party. Something I'll take into consideration. After all it is a destination wedding... Thanks ladies

2. I didn't realize that you aren't supposed to pick out the bridal party in advance...I guess it's too late now though (oops) I already asked. My friends don't normally change that much within a year though so I don't see my decision on who I asked having changed anyway. Never know though...

3. I thought, $10,500 was a tight budget. I looked up statistics online about the average price of a wedding and it's close to $30,000 (yeah, no way I could afford that). However, my budget is to include everything that has to do with the wedding (not just the ceremony/reception). So if you guys are finding it easy to work with that budget PLEASE message me your plans because obviously I'm doing something wrong...

4.  As for those who didn't understand this thread... Not sure how you didn't understand, seeing as how you did have an opinion about it. It was just something I needed clarity on and I thought since most here aren't from Las Vegas and are also planning destination weddings someone could possibly relate to me. I don't know.. just thought that's what discussion boards were for Thanks to those who didn't make me feel like an idiot for posting this. Your advice genuinely helped!

csarah718

No need to feel like a idiot. It wouldn't matter if I was planning a wedding in 1-10 years, I would know who I would ask to be in my wedding party and would not hesitate to call them and ask. All my friends inquired and I had to let them know that we were not having any. A wedding in Vegas with your budget is very do-able. Spend as much time here as possible. I learned so much by reading reviews, wedding bios, and board searches. Good luck and happy planning!

starryeyed77

Hi! I have a wedding party. I did wait until I had the LV plans set to ask but if I did ask earlier it would have been the same people. I DID LOSE ONE bm because she will be having a baby next month. Life happens. Don't worry...those that can will be there for you and those that can't will celebrate from afar.

starryeyed77

Sorry if some of my post is yelling...darn cell phone!

themrsJRD

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_bridesmaids-might-not-able?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:e91132e9-6893-4a0b-821f-4374d4565424Post:27ba6d0b-00a3-4b4f-b3df-3dafc4b9fb3e">Re: Bridesmaids who might not be able to make it</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not having any. But then again, I never wanted any and honestly don't understand why anyone would.  The fiance isn't having groomsmen either. All of that senseless tradition is one of the reasons we're going to Vegas. 
Posted by VegasCalling[/QUOTE]

<div>I really kind of take offense to this. I couldn't imagine my wedding without my sisters standing up with me. Just because it's not what you wanted doesn't mean it's a senseless tradition. I respect your decision not to have anyone stand with you & I'd expect someone to respect mine to have a bridal party. Other people responded who chose not to, & none of them sounded as rude as you.</div><div>
</div><div>To OP, my bridesmaids were my 4 sisters, FI's sister, and my friend I have known since I was 3. I knew right away who I wanted to stand with me. When it came down to it, FI's sister (who lives with her husband who is stationed in NY) couldn't make it... she was due around the time of our wedding & actually had our niece a few days before. We all missed her though & I know she wanted to be there!! She had something more important going on though. :)</div><div>
</div><div>FTR, FI only had his best friend stand with him... he had asked 3 other friends but they couldn't make it either. It was no big deal. We still talk to them all the time. </div>

weeezer

Hello! We are not having a wedding party either. I have been in so many weddings and spent so much money on the dresses and whatnot, I just want my friends to come if they are able to and not worry about extras. Some of them are kind of upset because they feel like they should be in my wedding, but I told them that being there to support me is good enough. Anywho, talking about the budget.. We are doing a sit down lunch reception. No DJ or anything. Just food, dessert, and unlimited drinks - then sending people on there way around 4:00pm to enjoy Vegas. This has greatly cut down on the cost of the reception. Dinner prices are more expensive at most places from my research. Just a thought. Also, I'm from Raleigh, NC... where in NC are you?

AJF021410

OP: we are way under that budget. You can check out my bio for specifics, and I it seems like a direction you want to take for your wedding I can give you more info. I suggest also clicking on the Vegas Knotties link inside the Wedding Porn sticky so you can see everyone's bios. While the national average is 30,000, this is the wedding capital of the world with so many choices and vendors competing for business. You will be able to have an amazing day within your budget.