sharing the spotlight...

ashglo

So my Fiance and I have been engaged about a year and a half and have been planning our wedding for April 21st since shortly after... 

Recently my family has had a rush of engagements and two of my cousins have planned weddings for this Spring as well..

No problem with that in theory because I am happy for them all and would love to be supportive and just as excited as ever but....

One of my cousins will be having there reception about a month before our at the SAME reception hall.... frustrating since we booked the hall before they even started dating and now our wedding to most of the family will look like just a repeat...
 
Secondly my other cousin recently decided to elope and plan a reception later... Later being the WEEK Before our Wedding!!!! AHHHH the night of our rehersal/Bach parties.... 

I mean really! On top of all the money stress and planning we have been doing our wedding is now LAST in a long line of weddings... feeling so overshadowed... 

I know our will be special and its out of my control and all that but I can't help the frustration I am feeling over all this! 

SMessina82

I'm going through a similar situation, so I can empathize with you. My fiance and I have been engaged since March 2011, and we have been planning our April 2012 wedding.
Well, back in August/September-ish, my cousin (whom I am very close with) proposed to his girlfriend of about a year. (Background- our family has not biggest "fan" of her since they began dating for a myriad of reasons).
I'm not the catty/bratty type of bride. Although I am not a fan of her, I am genuinely happy for my cousin. I held no resentments of hard feelings that they were engaged or planning a Feb 2012 wedding.
Well, they decided to plan a Feb 2012 wedding (no big deal).... to make matters worse, its a destination wedding. Now, our close family members are pretty much expected to fork out all this money for a destination wedding.
My parents (who are contributing $ to my wedding) feel obligated to go to the destination, and they are. My fiance and I CANNOT. There is no financial way for us to go. And because of that, we are getting the cold shoulder from certain family members.
As much as I don't want to be a brat, and I never thought I was, I feel like my wedding is being "out done" or overshadowed by my cousins.....
I don't have any suggestions, I just feel you on what you're going through!

em01092

I'm sorry you guys are facing this. What I would do is just try to remember that you get one day. You don't get a whole season. It's not practical for you to expect others to put their lives on hold to wait for you to get married. Some family may have to pick and choose which to attend, or not attend either to avoid hurt feelings. I know you know this and I hope that doesn't sound too mean, but I'm just reminding you. So really, there is nothing to do except get over it. You can't ask your family to change their dates because you want them to. Now if it was a year or so out, you might try to reason with them about coming to some compromise because it may make it hard on OOT family to attend both so close together, but it is WAY too late for any of that. 

OP, Your reception will be different even if it is in the same venue. You'll have different colors, food, some different people/some same. Maybe ask the manager to set up the tables differently or put the food on the opposite side of the room. Tell her/him your concerns and see what they can do to help make your reception stand out. 

SMessina, that really sucks and I'm sorry that's happening. I know how it feels. I couldn't afford to go to my oldest friend's wedding because it was a DW. That is the risk they run when they decide on a DW, and surely I would think people would understand. You have your own wedding coming up that you are saving for, and people have lives. 

cgyvhu

The general rule is you get one day for a wedding, but honestly, I think most people would be upset if they were in your shoes.  It sucks that two people who will have overlapping guest lists with you planned wedding so close to yours...that really inconveniences your joint guests.

Hopefully, your family will come to all of them.  And if they have to skip one, hopefully they remember to go to the one that was planned first.

As for the cousin getting married at your venue, don't share too many details about your flowers/color scheme/decor with her if you think she might steal ideas.  If you guys have different decor/flowers/colors, you will be surprised how different the same venue can look.

It's a shitty situation, but your wedding is still going to be amazing and special because you are marrying your FI.

rlavach

There is nothing you can do other than stop worrying about it. It does suck for your family because they now have to shell out 3 gifts in a 1 month span, but it's not your doing. You planned first. They decided to pick these dates. If there is anyone that your family should be upset with, it's them. 

You won't be overshadowed. Everyone's wedding is special and one-of-a-kind. You could all have it on the same day at the same place and it would still be unique because you're all different. Forget them and continue your course. 

quiggels219

I would be super annoyed if my cousin chose my venue right before me. Did she know that's where yours was going to be? Even if I loved it o would not to that to someone. Like everyone has said, your wedding will be special and unique regardless but understand the annoyance. Also, for your other cousin to plan her reception on the day of your rehearsal - again did she know?? If they both did I think they souls super inconsiderate. Nothing you can do though so just try to focus on your wedding and be happy

emilyandjoeygetmarried

Honestly I'd be super mad at my cousins if they planned their wedding to be the week before mine. Simply because doing that much in a short time span is pretty rough on families and even if mine was planned before knowing my family, they would go to the first event and be kinda less energetic about going to the second. Similar situation in my fam right now. My uncle is getting married tomorrow, whole entire family is together, everyone came in from out of town. Honestly now im really worried that no one will come in town for my wedding; which would make me feel pretty lousy since im the first grandchild to get married.
I did kinda mention it at their RD last night to my cousins
Something along the lines of "gosh im so glad everyone came for uncle ** wedding, sure hope we have as good a turn out"
Youre really handling it better than i would...kudos