Drama

MrsChasey

As many of you know, our engagement party was last weekend. We made everyone aware of the date well in advance (about 6 weeks notice). We know people are very busy, but also because the party was going to be all weekend at FI's house which is a couple hours away for my family. Some people were going to stay the entire weekend, others were coming for day. Still other people wanted to stay in a nearby hotel and make a getaway out of it.

My grandma came to the house about a month ago for the very first time. She said she wouldn't be there for the engagement party because it's too far of a drive...bothers her back, etc. My aunt who has never been there also said that was too far of a drive. I understood with the price of gas and all. I was a little hurt, but didn't push it. It turns out, my aunt and grandma drove an hour and a half further than where the party was last weekend, so basically they lied to me. My mom wanted to go with them and obviously my aunt didn't want her to go, so they picked the weekend of my party knowing my mom wouldn't miss my party. All this and they don't understand why I'm angry. Oh did I mention, I live with my grandma, so you'd think she'd really want to be there for me?!

akhensley81

First of all, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Take a deep breath before you do anything else.

Second, start to ingrain this thought in to your head: Your wedding is not NEARLY as important to anyone else, as it is to you and your FI. Learn that now, and it will save you a lot of heartache/hurt feelings/drama in the coming months. Unfortunately, this is likely not the last time someone will choose not to participate in something related to your wedding. It happened to me - and a lot of other brides I've talked to on TK - a lot.

I know it's family and it hurts, but try not to take it personally. They wanted to make other plans, and for whatever reason those plans were more important to them than your engagement party.

If you've already expressed your feelings to them - then leave it at that. Don't dwell on it or continue to ask for an apology. The last thing you want is for them to start harboring harsh feelings or judging you because of your behavior. Take the high road, so to speak. And just move on.

At the end of this, all that will matter is that you and your FI are married. It's as simple as that.

Good luck!

MrsChasey

Thanks, but sorry there was some conniving and manipulative behavior going on here. My aunt is a very jealous person. She specifically chose the weekend of my engagement party because she and her daughters wouldn't be the center of attention. Also, my grandmother was planning to move in with my mom next month and the same aunt has been ticked off about it (Grandma currently rents a 2 bedroom apt and I lived with her until this happened. It's bad enough that I'd rather drive 1.5 hours to work each way than to live with her.). She knew this would mean my mom wouldn't want her to live with her and now she's gotten her way. 

akhensley81

Like I said, it totally sucks that you have to deal with this. But there's not really anything you can say or do to change your aunt's behavior. My advice is still to take the high road and move on - the alternative is to stoop to her level, which won't make you look any better. If they truly want to be the center of attention at everything, your engagment party was probably better off without them anyway.

LRaider

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-grand-rapids_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:95Discussion:e0f7dfaa-ad78-481f-85b0-1cf5bef12888Post:e069598b-7b87-421a-a0d2-de4df8d010ed">Re: Drama</a>:
[QUOTE]Like I said, it totally sucks that you have to deal with this. But there's not really anything you can say or do to change your aunt's behavior. My advice is still to take the high road and move on - the alternative is to stoop to her level, which won't make you look any better. If they truly want to be the center of attention at everything, your engagment party was probably better off without them anyway.
Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

This, totally!  People do shady things, don't let it ruin your happiness!