RSVP dilemma!! Long, sorry.

andreamarie77

Okay, my RSVP response date is 2/10 - a month before the wedding, but unfortunately only one day before we meet with the venue for final details, table layout, etc. That was the only day we could get in there because it's booked every weekend until our wedding! So I've been getting in touch with all our "non-responders" a little early to find out what they're doing.

One of my BM's is currently dating a guy that she really likes, and I of course invited him to the wedding. I know she will be there, but I keep asking her if she's bringing him as well. She finally told me this weekend that she asked him about it, but he has his son on the weekends and doesn't want to leave him with a sitter. So she was thinking about either telling him that he can't come now (we said no kids for the wedding) or she wanted to know if it would be okay to make the exception, and now she'll have TWO guests! The kid is 13, so it's not like having a small child there - we will have a couple 16 and 17 year olds there as well.

But what do I do? Yes, we said no kids. But he's 13. PLUS, I know she likes the guy and would be bummed if he couldn't come. But on the other hand, none of us have met him yet (except a couple other guests that will be there), so he won't really know anyone. And do we really need a 13-year old seeing us all get crazy and drinking?

Thoughts?

elidellio

I would say she can bring him and his kid. Like you said, he's not a toddler so it's not like he'll be in the way. Your BM (I assume) is doing a lot for you so I think it's nice to let her bring them both.

If the dad doesn't feel like he should have his kid there with everyone drinking, etc. that's his call. Same thing if he feels uncomfortable not knowing many people. Don't stress yourself out trying to decide what's best for him --- he can deal with that part!

cmac3504

Yikes that's a tough call........ Seems weird that he wouldn't try to work something out with his son's mother to have her take him for that one weekend..... Maybe I'm looking into it too much but it seems a little odd to me.  Anyway, I guess it's dependent on the situation but I don't think you should feel obligated to invite the kid. 

lisa&sean

Can't 13 year olds stay at home alone? I was when I was 11! A lot of my 4th graders do too after school and they are 10...

I guess it wouldn't be so bad since he is 13...I wouldn't worry about seeing you guys get crazy...13 year olds are aware of alot more than you think! lol But if you think it's too weird just tell her no...if she's your friend she will understand! I know how you feel though, you want to please and make sure everyone has a good time at the wedding, including her...

Let us know what you decide!

brittandjp

I don't know. I kind of want to say no to be honest, although I too had a similar situation that we actually said yes to. My cousin (by marriage) just got engaged to a guy that already has a kid. I of course invited my step cousin and her fiance to the wedding. They RSVPed with the kid. I didn't call them and say no, I just accepted it. I kind of felt bad. We don't have too many kids coming that are under the age of 12 (maybe 5?), so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. He's 6 I believe. So, I don't know. That's a tough call. Sorry, I'm sure that wasn't the least bit of help. Good luck with whatever you decide!

andreamarie77

Thanks everyone! I talked to her and let her know that she was more then welcome to bring both her date and his kid - she called me today to let me know that it would just be the two of them, he apparently worked something out with the mom to have her keep the kid that weekend and he would get him a different weekend.

Pressure gone!