grrrr

diehld

so here's the thing... my BM's know that I am pregnant. And they know that one of the girls is 16... So they didn't even start to plan a bachlorette because they know that I can't drink and Amanda can't go out with us. Okay thats fine you're not obligated to throw me a party... 

So I have another friend that has offered to throw me a bachlorette party... I checked with the girls and they said it was fine... I then made sure it was the same night as one of the showers... only two weeks out from the wedding... So that way the girls would already be in town and ready to go out... 

Then I got a text message today from one of my BM's saying she really doesn't want to go to the party because its a sex toy party and it makes her uncomfortable... Its like really we can't drink... we really can't go out... so what do you want us to do... its not a shower... we aren't going to sit around and open gifts... its just makes me upset because it seems like my girls just don't want to party with me!!!! I know that seems crazy... and that maybe I just needed to vent... but it just ticks me off! I know the night before the wedding the plan is to sit at the hotel pool and just chill... but really the girls know that I love to party and it just seems like they don't want to do one last big one just because some how it doesn't seem like it even matters... 

w+c3

I'm sorry you are frustrated. I think that I would be a little disappointed too if my bridesmaids decided not to throw a bach party just because I was pregnant.

However I personally would be uncomfortable at a sex toy party as well. So I can't really blame her at all. Not to mention that the problem you had with going out originally was that the 16 year old couldn't go out with you. And the 16 year old can't come to this either. Or I would hope she isn't coming.

So I can see the frustration of not having support from your ladies however I feel like that girl is 100% justified and that you need to be a better friend and respect her decisions. This isn't just coctails and chick flicks. It isn't for everyone.

jbrook12

Could you all not maybe just go out to dinner that night and hang out? Maybe that way everyone is there and those that can and want to drink can do so.

Thats all we are doing for mine since I didn't want a party to start with.

diehld

No the youngest one is not coming to the party... she is my FI sister... and since she is 8 years younger than her siblings she understands there are somethings she just can't do... going to a BP is one of them... The other girl and I have been best friends since 6th grade... and then she got engaged... and it seems like she wants no part of my life... its aggravating... 

brittandjp

I totally understand that you're frustrated about her not wanting to come beacuse we're the brides, of course we want all of our bridesmaids around for the pre wedding parties. However, I also don't think it's fair for you to get up set with her because she doesn't want to come to a sex toy party. We call them romance parties here and I'm ironically going to one on Wednesday. I think they're fun and I went to one a few years ago. However, it's definitely not for everyone and you can't expect everyone to come just because it's what you want to do. Honestly, I personally wouldn't do a romance party for my Bachelorette since it can be such an uncomfortable experience for some.

I'm going to Vegas for my Bachelorette and one of my girls still isn't sure she can make it. It's JP's sister and I love her to death, but her loser boyfriend was laid off and finances are tight for them. As much as I would love for her to make it, I would never get mad at her for not being able to. However, Vegas is something a lot of people can enjoy and find something to do. Sorry, but I think you're in the wrong and she has every right to not want to come.

If you still plan on having the party, like PPs said, maybe you can go out to dinner first? OR have a catered dinner party that later turns into the romance party. She can leave for the second half, but still get to spend time with you for the first half. This would also enable your FSIL to come as well.

Good luck!