March 2012 Weddings

MIL Vent... (LONG!)

OK, I'm going crazy and need to vent somewhere.  I'm seriously about to scream and go off on someone which would probably be a bad idea right now...

SIL had a baby on Feb. 10th and MIL decided to come up and "help out".  Only, SIL and MIL don't get along... at all.  And SIL didn't want her here and doesn't want her help at all, so MIL never spends any time with SIL and the baby.  Instead, she's over at our house staying with us.  And she hasn't left.  The baby is almost a month old, and she's still here...

On top of that, she's making all these changed to the house, like painting the laundry room, replacing the cabinet in the laundry room, and the other day she pulled up this plant that was in front of our kitchen window.  All that is fine and dandy, except I don't recall either DH or I asking her to do ANY of these things and yet whenever anything comes up she always says something like "I just spent $75 at Home Depot to do such-and-such a project on the house!".  Great.  We didn't ask for it!  Don't try to make us feel guilty becuase you do these things on your own will.  Frankly, I liked that plant outside of the kitchen window!  It was kind of dying and overgrown but it blocked our kitchen window from being seen from the street and I like that privacy.

THEN, some of you may remember how my SIL ruined some of my towels a while back.  Not a huge deal, they're just towels, whatever.  Well, I just opened up the drawer in the kitchen where I keep my unpaper towels and what do I see?  MIL has taken yet another towel of mine and has CUT IT UP and is now using them for cleaning towels.  WTF?!?!  And for all I know she's cut up a bunch of them but I just saw the one and got pissed and slammed the door.   I know, they are just towels, but, seriously, who destroys someone else's towels??  It's not like I don't have a drawer full of cleaning clothes already that she had to cut up a regular towel in order to clean with.  I just don't get WHY!  This leaves us with 4 regular towels now.  Again, that's plenty for DH and I, but what happens if we have an out of town guest?  I get to spend yet more money to buy yet more towels.  JOY!  Because I don't have other things I'd prefer to spend my money on that re-buying towels every couple of months.  

I'm seriously over this.  It baffles me that she feels like she can come stay here for a month with no exact date of departure.  I mentioned this to my brother and his wife and they both laughed and said that if I ever did that to them they'd kick my butt out after three days!  And rightfully so, it's extremely rude.  Yet MIL seems to think nothing of it.  DH said I just have to learn to live with her (he has) and she is my family now, too.  I don't know.  You can disown parents, right?  Because I'm really tempted right now.

Honestly, I like her just fine when she's not in the same house as us.  But I am really tempted to move and not tell her where we live just so this situation can never arise again.

Thanks for bearing with me.  Rant over.  I feel better now.  :)
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Janine & Cody | Georgetown, Grand Cayman | Feb. 28th, 2012

Surprise BFP | Baby Due Late July/Early August 2013

Pregnancy Ticker

I believe in a lot of things. I believe in fresh tennis balls, the healing power of bunnies, and that the novels of Susan Sontag are something I'll never read. In fact, I don't even know who Susan Sontag is. What is she... like... a painter? I believe in Crystal Lite because I believe in ME. I believe in the movies of Val Kilmer, though these days it ain't so easy. I believe in Darren Sproles, the word "dabble", the first season of "Silk Stockings", and big, warm, moist, gooey chocolate chip cookies that melt in your mouth and all over your face.

Re: MIL Vent... (LONG!)

  • wow that is incredibly rude of her. Your H won't say anything to her?  I wouldn't hesitate to say something to her, especially after she cut up my towels.  That's how I am though lol.  Besides, you two just got married.  You deserve to spend some time a long re-adjusting to your new lives together.  Even if you lived together before, being married is different!  I'm not sure what else to tell you other than you probably should talk to DH and confront her.  Maybe something is going on at home that she is running away from.  But you need to put your foot down or things will never change.  Best of luck!
  • OMG, my FMIL would TOTALLY do this! She will call and be like "what are you doing? Cause I'm 5 min from your house" and she lives an hour away! She also asked to live with us for 10 months while she went to $25,000 pastry school (midlife crisis, IMO) and I said HELL NO. We already live with my sister. I'm kinda scared for when we have kids. Hope it makes you feel slightly better that there are other crazy MILs out there! Good luck!
  • Oh wow!
    If I were in your shoes, being the lady of the house, I would have to put my foot down and ask MIL wtf?! At the very least I'd sit her down and have a serious talk about whats going on and why she feels the best place for her at this point in time is in her newly married child's home doing fix-it projects.
    I mean, for real? You both just got married! She needs to go home!
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  • Holy crap! I would freak out!!
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  • mrsmustard12mrsmustard12 member
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    edited March 2012
    OMG I feel your pain!  My in laws were here for 1 week before and almost one week after our wedding staying at our house.  It was MIL, FIL, SIL, 2 cousins, DH and me...7 people with 1 bathroom!!!!  His mother also doesn't understand the concept of tupperware or not leaving food sitting out on the counter for days!!  They also brought down their 3 stupid dogs (I love dogs but these are the WORST dogs on the planet).  So that was their 3 dogs plus our 2 dogs...7 people and 5 dogs in a small 2 bedroom house!  One of his parents dogs peed under our bed and all over our suede sofa...I am so happy they're gone!
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  • Wow..... I really don't know if anything to say to that. Just wow....
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  • You my dear, are a better person than I will ever be...I would have flipped after week 1.  I'm sorry you have't had any personal time with your DH!  I agree with the PP who said you might need to talk to her to see if there is a reason why she doesn't want to go home.  Good Luck!
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  • <div>Well, I know why she doesn't want to leave.  SIL and her husband and two kids live next door, and FIL lives on the property as well.  So the whole family is here in CA and she lives in AZ.  And I think she feels left out.  Which is great... except I'm not a fan of an open ended guest in my house!  It's just not how I was raised and my family always has departure times clearly stated in their request to come stay with us.  Blah.</div><div>
    </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_mil-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:662186a2-60aa-4809-ba71-635808a2009cPost:f24764e1-3e41-4015-8805-7ae4a06421ce">Re: MIL Vent... (LONG!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OMG I feel your pain!  My in laws were here for 1 week before and almost one week after our wedding staying at our house.  It was MIL, FIL, SIL, 2 cousins, DH and me...7 people with 1 bathroom!!!!  His mother also doesn't understand the concept of tupperware or not leaving food sitting out on the counter for days!!  They also brought down their 3 stupid dogs (I love dogs but these are the WORST dogs on the planet).  So that was their 3 dogs plus our 2 dogs...7 people and 5 dogs in a small 2 bedroom house!  One of his parents dogs peed under our bed and all over our suede sofa...I am so happy they're gone!
    Posted by MDigeon1125[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>OMG!  You win.  She at least left her dogs at home and we have our own bathroom.  So... yeah, there's that!  At least you survived, right?  :)

    </div>
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    Janine & Cody | Georgetown, Grand Cayman | Feb. 28th, 2012

    Surprise BFP | Baby Due Late July/Early August 2013

    Pregnancy Ticker

    I believe in a lot of things. I believe in fresh tennis balls, the healing power of bunnies, and that the novels of Susan Sontag are something I'll never read. In fact, I don't even know who Susan Sontag is. What is she... like... a painter? I believe in Crystal Lite because I believe in ME. I believe in the movies of Val Kilmer, though these days it ain't so easy. I believe in Darren Sproles, the word "dabble", the first season of "Silk Stockings", and big, warm, moist, gooey chocolate chip cookies that melt in your mouth and all over your face.

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