Frielationship (long)

w+c3

Ok so I just have to get this out because it bugs me and it bugs me even more how much I care. So I have this friend (also happens to be a bridesmaid.)  We've been friends on and off since like elementary school.  When we are together we get along great, she is freaking hilarious. She provides me laughter and I give her advice since i'm older by a couple of years. Well this "friend" happens to end up also being probably the crappiest friend on the planet. She is flakey with plans. She is sometimes impossible to get ahold of and I'm talking phone and text...yet i've never seen the girl without her phone up her ass. And like I asked her to be my bridesmaid awhile back and her reply was a text message saying she "cried like a freaking baby when she got my invite" (I sent cute notes in the mail.  And then that summer after she flaked like 3 times to come see my new house she comes over and she brings this card and a gift. Inside the card is a note that says she knows she has been a crappy friend the past year or so and she really wants to change that from here on out and she can't imagine her life without calling me her friend etc. And then it was a cd of a hott country star we're both in love with.
Fast forward now and things haven't changed. She is still the same old Lo. and well I was upset at her because she hasn't been cooperating on pickin up her dress and hasn't been answering texts etc. So I call her tonight in one last ditch effort to help her not have to drive an hour to pick up her dress and she gets on the phone, all cheery, joking like we always do, being the friend I love to have in my life. She tells me not to be a stranger and that if I come up with any good wedding drama let her know etc. and I hate it because I'm drawn back into her again. Its like a bad relationship I just keep going back to! She is flat out a crappy friend. And Ive always been a better friend than her. And I should really just break it off after the wedding....ugh. I just hate how I let the cycle repeat.

Anyone got an equally crappy friend that they just can't seem to part with?

KatieC82

I think you can keep her in your life. You just have to stop expecting anything from her. She'll step up or disappear on her own.

rebeccaa12

I have the same thing. One of my ex-BMs, actually. She stepped down on her own. We'd been friends since freshman year of high school. She was the one who broke the news to me when my best friend passed away. I was the only non-related person there for her when her daughter was born. I've gone to every kid's bday party she's had since then. I literally called her and left a vm/text every week and she never responded. Not even to say she was busy. Yep, I had the right number and everything.

I realized that it didn't matter how hard I tried. If she didn't see that it takes 2 people to have a friendship, then it's her loss. Sorry you are dealing with all that. It blows.

paulette1979

um...LOL well, i can honestly say that i'm just like her and my friends probably think the same way about me.  The problem here is that I DON'T LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE AND HATE TEXTING.  Though if you see me, i have my phone on me all the time, but it usually because i'm playing games or chekcing messages, not necessarily answering anyone. There are times when friends ask me to go out with them and at the time i'm really excited about it but when the day comes i'm all lazy and not feelign up to it, so i flake out.  But if my friend needs me and calls (and leaves a message) and says they REALLY need to talk to me or they need my help, i will the first one there to lend a helping hand.  I also am not the type to call people just to say "whats up", I never call unless I need something, and I expect the same back...I also am super bad at keeping in contact with people.  Am I a bad person, some may say I am...but i don't think so.  I just hate phones, and acting like i'm in high school where I need to be on the phone with people all the time. 

w+c3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2012-weddings_frielationship-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:955e4823-0be1-44ef-9ee7-99a63794e103Discussion:eebda9a6-8dd0-4ed2-a20d-2e2f630a3e56Post:07220b88-994c-4372-a35a-172c612065c4">Re: Frielationship (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you can keep her in your life. You just have to stop expecting anything from her. She'll step up or disappear on her own.
Posted by KatieC82[/QUOTE]

How true.

lisa&sean

Totally have one of those....and totally feel your pain...

She's not a BM but coming to the wedding....and so far every dress she has texted me to wear to the rehearsal dinner is almost an exact replica of mine...so annoying! I told her I really would appreciate if no one tried to match me...and then the very next pic she sends is still a dress with a white top and black bottom...wow

southerncharm24

I have one of those. Had her for about 25 years now... hahah. You just need to stop expecting anything from them. We live in different states now, and when I come home I see her 1 out of every 3 trips home. She is the kind of girl where here boyfriend is always the most important, and that everyone should come to her.
I dont caterer to that style any longer. She lives an hour from our home town. I li Our parents are neighbors. Its not like she wouldnt have a place to stay if went out. If I see her great, if not, oh well. She is invited to the wedding, and to be honest if she doesnt show... I'll finally quit contact sompletely.