Indiana

Is it acceptable to ask for money instead of registering for gifts?

Both my fiance and I have lived independently alone, ie we have two of everything that we need.  So, we don't need anything when we get married.  I want to just ask our guest to give us money if they want to give us anything, but the fiance isn't sure how people will take to the idea.  Thoughts and comments??

Re: Is it acceptable to ask for money instead of registering for gifts?

  • edited December 2011
    Make sure you don't ask this on the E-board, they will eat you alive. I am not super smart about all of the etiquette, but I know it is impolite to ask for money. Instead do not make a registry. A lot of times when someone does not have a registry they will ask people who are close to you what you want or just give you money. If you let the people close to you know you want money they can spread the word. For example, I told my mom we preferred money and if any of my aunts/grandparents asked her then that is what she politely told them. Make sure you do not ask for money yourselves unless directly asked!
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  • Monolayth3Monolayth3
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    No.

    Technically it is not proper to ask for any gifts. Gifts by defination are unexpected. So technically a gift registry is bad form too but everyone does it. If you wish to recieve cash by all means tell those that ask. For the love of all that is holy do not put it in writing anywhere.

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  • acwmacwm
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    Make a small registry, or forgo a registry altogether (but if you don't make a registry, be prepared to turn down any showers, as showers are meant to "shower" you with gifts). Your parents and bridal party can help spread the word to people who ask-- they can say something like "Bride and Groom are registered at X and Y, but are saving for a house/honeymoon/furniture/etc." Don't spread the word to anyone who doesn't directly ask about it, though.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the previous posters - just don't do it.  Instead, you can spread it by word of mouth. Your family can help you out with that as suggested above.  If someone asks you directly what you would like for a gift, you can answer them tactfully by saying something like "Oh, it's so nice/thoughtful/sweet of you to offer. We honestly don't really need any more stuff, we already have so much!" They'll get the hint.  And please don't do a money or honeymoon registry - those are also considered rude.  

    Also, if you decide not to do any gift registry, be prepared that you will still likely get gifts at the wedding, just ones that you might not necessarily like.  This is why people, even if they don't really want anything, still do small registries.  Think about what you currently have that you might want to upgrade (a nicer coffee maker? high thread count sheets? etc.).  

    I'm sure this is not what you wanted to hear, but this advice can help you avoid the embarrassment of your friends/family thinking you are rude by asking them for money.  And you really wouldn't want to be in that position, right? :-) 
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  • emhemmelgarnemhemmelgarn
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I completely agree with the other posts - small registry!
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